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"Drink," I insisted.
I was surprised when she complied immediately and without objection. She drank until the glass was entirely empty, so I pushed the second coke toward her, frowning a little. Thirst, or shock?
She drank a little more, and then shuddered once.
"Are you cold?"
"It's just the coke," she said, but she shivered again, her lips trembling slightly as if her teeth were about to chatter.
"You call yourself a gentleman but you let her get cold like that... I'm so disappointed in you," Jacob chuckled.
The pretty blouse she wore looked too thin to protect her adequately; it clung to her like a second skin, almost as fragile as the first. She was so frail, so mortal. "Don't you have a jacket?"
"Yes." She looked around herself, a little perplexed. "Oh??I left it in Jessica's car."
I pulled off my jacket, wishing that the gesture was not marred by my body temperature. It would have been nice to have been able to offer her a warm coat. She stared at me, her cheeks warming again. What was she thinking now?
I handed her the jacket across the table, and she put it on at once, and then shuddered again.
Yes, it would be very nice to be warm.
"Tough luck, man," Jacob chuckled.
"Shut up," Bella said, it was the thought that counted after all, besides the jacket was sure to warm her up soon enough.
"Thanks," she said. She took a deep breath, and then pushed the too-long sleeves back to free her hands. She took another deep breath.
Was the evening finally settling in? Her color was still good; her skin was cream and roses against the deep blue of her shirt.
"That color blue looks lovely with your skin," I complimented her. Just being honest.
Bella smiled, blushing slightly.
"Good with your skin!" Jacob repeated laughing. "That's a weird way of putting it."
"Shut up," Bella hissed at him, she didn't need his laughter at the moment.
She flushed, enhancing the effect.
She looked well, but there was no point in taking chances. I pushed the basket of bread toward her.
"Really," she objected, guessing my motives. "I'm not going into shock."
"You should be??a normal person would be. You don't even look shaken." I stared at her, disapproving, wondering why she couldn't be normal and then wondering if really wanted her to be that way.
"No, you really don't," Jacob answered. "You don't like normal at all."
"I feel very safe with you," she said, her eyes, again, filled with trust. Trust I didn't deserve.
Her instincts were all wrong??backwards.
"There's nothing wrong with my instincts," Bella huffed.
"I'm not so sure about that," Jacob said. "Honestly, you should be scared of this guy... but whatever."
That must be the problem. She didn't recognize danger the way a human being should be able to. She had the opposite reaction. Instead of running, she lingered, drawn to what should frighten her??
How could I protect her from myself when neither of us wanted that?
"This is more complicated than I'd planned," I murmured.
I could see her turning my words over in her head, and I wondered what she made of them. She took a breadstick and began to eat without seeming aware of the action.
"Okay, you're killing me here," Jacob said. "I want to know what you're thinking already."
Bella just chuckled at that.
She chewed for a moment, and then leaned her head to one side thoughtfully.
"Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are so light," she said in a casual tone.
"I didn't expect that," Jacob said.
Her observation, stated so matter of factly, left me reeling. "What?"
"You're always crabbier when your eyes are black??I expect it then. I have a theory about that," she added lightly.
"What's your theory?" Jacob asked.
"Stop interrupting so much," Bella huffed at him.
"Sorry... I'm just so drawn into this," Jacob said, "I keep forgetting that you don't know anything."
So she had come up with her own explanation. Of course she had. I felt a deep sense of dread as I wondered how close she'd come to the truth.
"More theories?"
"Mm-hm." She chewed on another bite, entirely nonchalant. As if she weren't discussing the aspects of a monster with the monster himself.
"Well, that's nice to know," Bella mumbled, liking the fact that she didn't act as nervous as she felt at the moment, knowing that she would have been a lot worse in the book.
"I hope you were more creative this time??" I lied when she didn't continue.
What I really hoped was that she was wrong??miles wide of the mark.
"I think that might be more off the mark," Jacob said. "Once he finds out that you accept him, he'll love that you know."
"Or are you still stealing from comic books?"
"Well, no, I didn't get it from a comic book," she said, a little embarrassed. "But I didn't come up with it on my own, either."
Jacob shivered at that uncontrollably.
"And?" I asked between my teeth.
Surely should would not speak so calmly if she were about to scream.
As she hesitated, biting her lip, the waitress reappeared with Bella's food. I paid the server little attention as she set the plate in front of Bella and then asked if I wanted anything.
I declined, but asked for more coke. The waitress hadn't noticed the empty glasses. She took them and left.
"You were saying?" I prompted anxiously as soon as we were alone again.
"I'll tell you about it in the car," she said in a low voice. Ah, this would be bad.
"Yeah, very bad," Jacob grumbled, feeling more foreboding than before.
She wasn't willing to speak her guesses around others. "If??" she tacked on suddenly.
"There are conditions?" I was so tense I almost growled the words.
"I do have a few questions, of course."
"Of course," I agreed, my voice hard.
Her questions would probably be enough to tell me where her thoughts were heading. But how would I answer them? With responsible lies? Or would I drive her away with truth? Or would I say nothing, unable to decide?
"The truth, please," Bella said.
"I don't think you get to choose," Jacob chuckled at her expression.
"Still, I think it's about time the truth was put out on the table," Bella said. "I want to see how he'll react once I know what he is."
We sat in silence while the waitress replenished her supply of soda.
"Well, go ahead," I said, jaw locked, when she was gone.
"Why are you in Port Angeles?"
"Well, somehow I don't think he's going to answer that question," Jacob chuckled. "You know, he can't really say 'I was stalking you'."
That was too easy a question??for her. It gave away nothing, while my answer, if truthful, would give away much too much. Let her reveal something first.
"That's not fair," Bella huffed. "I give away things all the time... you should tell me something for once."
"Next," I said.
"But that's the easiest one!'
"Next," I said again.
She was frustrated by my refusal. She looked away from me, down to her food.
Slowly, thinking hard, she took a bite and chewed with deliberation. She washed it down with more coke, and then finally looked up at me. Her eyes were narrow with suspicion.
Jacob chuckled at this; he could so picture Bella doing that.
"Okay then," she said. "Let's say, hypothetically, of course, that??someone??could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know??with just a few exceptions."
"What?" Jacob said. "How the hell did you figure that one out?"
"I don't know," Bella shrugged. "Maybe when he was talking about Mike's thoughts and all."
"You really are perceptive," Jacob mumbled.
It could be worse.
"He's not shocked at all that you figured that out," Jacob muttered. "I thought it was shocking."
This explained that little half-smile in the car. She was quick??no one else had ever guessed this about me. Except for Carlisle, and it had been rather obvious then, in the beginning, when I'd answered all his thoughts as if he'd spoken them to me. He'd understood before I had??
Bella smiled at that; for some reason she found that image nice.
This question wasn't so bad. While it was clear that she knew that there was something wrong with me, was not as serious as it could have been. Mind-reading was, after all, not a facet of the vampire cannon. I went along with her hypothesis.
"Just one exception," I corrected. "Hypothetically."
She fought a smile??my vague honesty pleased her.
"Well, seeing as you're hardly ever honest with me, that's not hard to believe," Bella mumbled.
"All right, with one exception, then. How does that work? What are the limitations? How would??that someone??find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know that she was in trouble?"
"Hypothetically?"
"Sure." Her lips twitched, and her liquid brown eyes were eager.
"Well," I hesitated. "If??that someone??"
"Let's call him 'Joe,'" she suggested.
"Joe," Jacob laughed and Bella chuckled. "Why?"
"I always liked the name Joe," Bella shrugged.
I had to smile at her enthusiasm. Did she really think the truth would be a good thing? If my secrets were pleasant, why would I keep them from her?
"Joe, then," I agreed. "If Joe had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." I shook my head and repressed a shudder at the thought of how close I had been to being too late today. "Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."
Jacob grimaced at this... that wasn't something to joke about. He also thought that it really wouldn't have been Bella who devastated the crime rate, but didn't say anything.
Her lips turned down at the corners, and pouted out. "We were speaking of a hypothetical case."
Jacob gave a weak smile at that.
I laughed at her irritation.
Her lips, her skin?? They looked so soft. I wanted to touch them. I wanted to press my fingertip against the corner of her frown and turn it up. Impossible. My skin would be repellent to her.
"Yes, we were," I said, returning to the conversation before I could depress myself too thoroughly. "Shall we call you 'Jane'?"
"No... I don't like Jane," Bella said and Jacob chuckled at that.
She leaned across the table toward me, all humor and irritation gone from her wide eyes.
"How did you know?" she asked, her voice low and intense.
Should I tell her the truth? And, if so, what portion?
I wanted to tell her. I wanted to deserve the trust I could still see on her face.
"You can trust me, you know," she whispered, and she reached one hand forward as if to touch my hands where they rested on top of the empty table before me.
"Ha," Bella said, "I knew this whole touching aversion thing was all in his head."
I pulled them back??hating the thought of her reaction to my frigid stone skin?? and she dropped her hand.
"If I'm reaching for you, I don't care about that," Bella said a little irritated at that.
I knew that I could trust her with protecting my secrets; she was entirely trustworthy, good to the core. But I couldn't trust her not to be horrified by them. She should be horrified. The truth was horror.
