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"Would it really be that easy to please someone?" Bella asked, she couldn't really think of a 'thing' that would make her happy.
"Probably," Jacob said, thinking about the master cylinder that he needed for his car
But Angela proved almost as unaccommodating as Bella with her thoughts. She was oddly content for a teenager. Happy. Perhaps this was the reason for her unusual kindness??she was one of those rare people who had what they wanted and wanted what they had. If she wasn't paying attention to her teachers and her notes, she was thinking of the twin little brothers she was taking to the beach this weekend??anticipating their excitement with an almost maternal pleasure. She cared for them often, but was not resentful of this fact?? It was very sweet.
Bella smiled, she was definitely going to have to make friends with this girl.
"Well, it looks like you're not so unique after all," Jacob said. "There are other humans out there that aren't selfish."
"I never thought I was unique," Bella shrugged.
But not really helpful to me.
There had to be something she wanted. I would just have to keep looking. But later. It was time for Bella's trig class with Jessica.
Bella grimaced and the annoyance was back in her voice now.
I wasn't watching where I was going as I made my way to English. Jessica was already in her seat, both her feet tapping impatiently against the floor as she waited for Bella to arrive.
Conversely, once I settled into my assigned seat in the classroom, I became utterly still. I had to remind myself to fidget now and then. To keep up the charade. It was difficult, my thoughts were so focused on Jessica's. I hoped she would pay attention, really try to read Bella's face for me.
Jessica's tapping intensified when Bella walked into the room.
She looks??glum. Why? Maybe there's nothing going on with Edward Cullen.
"That's not it," Jacob said chuckling. "I bet you're glum because you have to talk to her..."
"And I know that Edward will be listening," Bella added, her voice was even more annoyed than it was before."
That would be a disappointment. Except??then he's still available?? If he's suddenly interested in dating, I don't mind helping out with that??
Bella had hissed the last words out and Jacob chuckled harder than ever.
Bella's face didn't look glum, it looked reluctant. She was worried??she knew I would hear all of this. I smiled to myself.
"Tell me everything!" Jess demanded while Bella was still removing her jacket to hang it on the back of her seat. She was moving with deliberation, unwilling.
Ugh, she's so slow. Let's get to the juicy stuff!
"What do you want to know?" Bella stalled as she took her seat.
Jacob groaned and chuckled at this. "You're not going to make this easy on her are you?"
"No," Bella shook her head.
"What happened last night?"
"He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home."
The chuckling got louder now. "You really are going to annoy her... and Edward, too, of course."
And then? C'mon, there has to be more than that! She's lying anyway, I know that. I'm going to call her on it.
"How did you get home so fast?"
I watched Bella roll her eyes at the suspicious Jessica.
"He drives like a maniac. It was terrifying."
This time both Jacob and Bella were chuckling.
She smiled a tiny smile, and I laughed out loud, interrupting Mr. Mason's announcements. I tried to turn the laugh into a cough, but no one was fooled. Mr. Mason shot me an irritated look, but I didn't even bother to listen to the thought behind it. I was hearing Jessica.
Huh. She sounds like she's telling the truth. Why is she making me pull this out of her, word by word? I would be bragging at the top of my lungs if it were me.
"That's not Bella's style," Jacob shrugged.
"Was it like a date??did you tell him to meet you there?"
Jessica watched surprise cross Bella's expression, and was disappointed at how genuine it seemed.
"Well there's one good thing about having an open face," Jacob said and laughed when Bella stuck her tongue out at him.
"No??I was very surprised to see him there," Bella told her.
What is going on? "But he picked you up for school today?" There has to be more to the story.
"Yes??that was a surprise, too. He noticed I didn't have a jacket last night."
That's not very much fun, Jessica thought, disappointed again.
"Ah... poor Jessie not getting anything fun out of you," Jacob laughed.
I was tired of her line of questioning??I wanted to hear something I didn't already know. I hoped she wasn't so dissatisfied that she would skip the questions I was waiting for.
"So are you going out again?" Jessica demanded.
"He offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday because he thinks my truck isn't up to it??does that count?"
Hmm. He sure is going out of his way to??well, take care of her, sort of. There must be something there on his side, if not on hers. How could THAT be? Bella's crazy.
"Why does everyone have to question my sanity in this book?" Bella huffed.
"Because you're crazy!" Jacob laughed.
"Yes," Jessica answered Bella's question.
"Well, then," Bella concluded. "Yes."
"Wow??Edward Cullen." Whether she likes him or not, this is major.
"I know," Bella sighed.
The tone of her voice encouraged Jessica.
"Damn," Bella said, she really wished she could have gotten out of this without revealing anything.
Finally??she sounds like she gets it! She must realize??
"Wait!" Jessica said, suddenly remembering her most vital question. "Has he kissed you?" Please say yes. And then describe every second!
"Do girls really care about that crap?" Jacob rolled his eyes. "Talking about kisses and stuff like that?"
"I guess," Bella shrugged, she wasn't one to talk about something like that unless it was pulled out of her painfully like Jessica seemed to want to do.
"No," Bella mumbled, and then she looked down at her hands, her face falling.
"It's not like that."
Damn. I wish?? Ha. Looks like she does too.
Bella blushed again, and of course Edward was listening to that.
I frowned. Bella did look upset about something, but it couldn't be disappointment like Jessica assumed. She couldn't want that. Not knowing what she knew. She couldn't want to be that close to my teeth. For all she knew, I had fangs.
"Um... this guy does realize that if you like someone you probably think about kissing them, right?" Jacob said.
Bella shrugged at that.
I shuddered.
"Do you think Saturday???" Jessica prodded.
Bella looked even more frustrated as she said, "I really doubt it."
Yeah, she does wish. That sucks for her.
Was it because I was watching all this through the filter of Jessica's perceptions that it seemed like Jessica was right?
Bella rolled her eyes.
"Slow as always, man," Jacob said.
For a half-second I was distracted by the idea, the impossibility, of what it would be like to try to kiss her. My lips to her lips, cold stone to warm, yielding silk??
And then she dies.
Bella rolled her eyes and Jacob flinched at that.
"You really have to take that seriously, Bella," Jacob said. "He's getting used to you... but it's got to be harder for him if he's close to you like that."
"I'll be careful," Bella said, but that didn't change her mind about wanting to be close to him like that.
I shook my head, wincing, and made myself pay attention.
"What did you talk about?" Did you talk to him, or did you make him drag every ounce of information out of you like this?
"A little of both," Jacob chuckled.
I smiled ruefully. Jessica wasn't far off.
"I don't know, Jess, lots of stuff. We talked about the English essay a little."
"Um... you did?" Jacob questioned.
"He mentioned it," Bella shrugged.
A very little. I smiled wider.
Oh, c'MON. "Please, Bella! Give me some details."
Bella deliberated for a moment.
"Well??okay, I've got one. You should have seen the waitress flirting with him?? it was over the top. But he didn't pay any attention to her at all."
What a strange detail to share. I was surprised Bella had even noticed. It seemed a very inconsequential thing.
"Yeah, to you," Bella said. "But having someone flaunt themselves in front of someone you like isn't fun at all... and something that anyone would notice."
Interesting?? "That's a good sign. Was she pretty?"
Hmm. Jessica thought more of it that I did. Must be a female thing.
"Or maybe it's a human thing," Jacob said, he thought it meant something, too. Of course he wouldn't have discussed this...
"Very," Bella told her. "And probably nineteen or twenty."
Jessica was momentarily distracted by a memory of Mike on her date Monday night??Mike being a little too friendly with a waitress who Jessica did not consider pretty at all.
"Hmph," Jacob huffed, his opinion of Mike, which was already low, just dropped there. He could have had at least the decency to not look at other girls when he was out on a date.
She shoved the memory away and returned, stifling her irritation, to her quest for details.
"Even better. He must like you."
"I think so," Bella said slowly, and I was on the edge of my seat, my body rigidly still. "But it's hard to tell. He's always so cryptic."
Jacob snorted at that.
"What? It's true!" Bella exclaimed.
"I know," Jacob said still laughing. "It's just so funny because we know how he really feels."
Bella give him a reluctant smile at that, even as she felt sorry for her book self for not knowing how Edward felt about her.
I must not have been as transparently obvious and out of control as I'd thought.
Still??observant as she was?? How could she not realize that I was in love with her? I sifted through our conversation, almost surprised that I hadn't said the words out loud. It had felt like that knowledge had been the subtext of every word between us.
"Yeah and the other subtext was 'run away, Bella'... or 'I'm going to leave you, Bella,'" Bella said angrily; how was she supposed to know what he was thinking?
Wow. How do you sit there across from a male model and make conversation?
"I don't know how you're brave enough to be alone with him," Jessica said.
Shock flashed across Bella's face. "Why?"
Weird reaction. What does she think I meant?
"That he's a dangerous monster that's trying to be good," Jacob said.
"Who is good," Bella corrected him.
"He's so??" What's the right word? "Intimidating. I wouldn't know what to say to him." I couldn't even speak English to him today, and all he said was good morning. I must have sounded like such an idiot.
"Yep," Jacob agreed.
Bella smiled. "I do have some trouble with incoherency when I'm around him."
She must be trying to make Jessica feel better. She was almost unnaturally self-possessed when we were together.
Bella rolled her eyes; he so didn't see how much he affected her.
"Oh well," Jessica sighed. "He is unbelievably gorgeous."
Bella's face was suddenly colder. Her eyes flashed the same way they did when she resented some injustice. Jessica didn't process the change in her expression.
"Um... what does that expression mean?" Jacob questioned.
"He's not just a pretty face," Bella said and then started reading.
"There's a lot more to him than that," Bella snapped.
Oooh. Now we're getting somewhere. "Really? Like what?"
Bella gnawed her lip for a moment. "I can't explain it right," she finally said.
"But he's even more unbelievable behind the face." She looked away from Jessica, her eyes slightly unfocused as if she was staring at something very far away.
The feeling I felt now was loosely similar to how it felt when Carlisle or Esme praised me beyond what I deserved. Similar, but more intense, more consuming.
Bella frowned; she really was going to have to find out why he believed so strongly that he didn't deserve being praised.
Sell stupid somewhere else??there's nothing better than that face! Unless it's his body. Swoon. "Is that possible?" Jessica giggled.
Jacob chuckled at Jessica use of swoon again... it just was a weird thing to think.
Bella didn't turn. She continued to stare into the distance, ignoring Jessica.
A normal person would be gloating. Maybe if I keep the questions simple. Ha ha. Like I'm talking to a kindergartener.
Jacob narrowed his eyes at that... that sounded insulting to him.
"So you like him, then?"
I was rigid again.
Bella didn't look at Jessica. "Yes."
"I mean, do you really like him?"
"Yes."
Look at that blush!
I was.
Bella groaned.
"How much do you like him?" Jessica demanded.
The English room could have gone up in flames and I wouldn't have noticed.
Bella's face was bright red now??I could almost feel the heat from the mental picture.
"Too much," she whispered. "More than he likes me. But I don't see how I can help that."
"Do you really think you like him more?" Jacob questioned.
"I think I like him more than he's showed me that he has likes me," Bella said, completely confusing Jacob. Bella sighed and then said, "Obviously, I know that Edward loves me after hearing what he thought... but in the book... there is no way that I realize that. In the book, I must be convinced that... I don't know what I'm thinking in the book actually."
Shoot! What did Mr. Varner just ask? "Um??which number, Mr. Varner?"
It was good that Jessica could no longer quiz Bella. I needed a minute.
What on earth was that girl thinking now? More than he likes me? How did she come up with that? But I don't see how I can help that? What was that supposed to mean? I couldn't fit a rational explanation to the words. They were practically senseless.
It seemed I couldn't take anything for granted. Obvious things, things that made perfect sense, somehow got twisted up and turned backwards in that bizarre brain of hers.
Bella hissed as she read this. Was it her that twisted everything! He was the one who never seemed to be able to settle with one thought. Always having to think twenty different things at once.
More than he likes me? Maybe I shouldn't rule out the institution just yet.
I glared at the clock, gritting my teeth. How could mere minutes feel so impossibly long to an immortal? Where was my perspective?
My jaw was tight throughout Mr. Varner's entire trigonometry lesson. I heard more of that than the lecture in my own class. Bella and Jessica didn't speak again, but Jessica peeked at Bella several times, and once her face was brilliant scarlet again for no apparent reason.
Lunch couldn't come fast enough.
I wasn't sure if Jessica would get some of the answers I was waiting for when the class was over, but Bella was quicker than she was.
As soon as the bell sounded, Bella turned to Jessica.
"In English, Mike asked me if you said anything about Monday night," Bella said, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. I understood this for what is was??offense as the best defense.
"Good one, Bells," Jacob chuckled.
"Yeah," Bella said smugly, though she was still upset that he kept thinking she was crazy.
Mike asked about me? Joy made Jessica's mind suddenly unguarded, softer, without its usual snide edge. "You're kidding! What did you say?"
"I told him you said you had a lot of fun??and he looked pleased."
"Tell me exactly what he said, and your exact answer!"
That was all I was going to get from Jessica today, clearly. Bella was smiling like she was thinking the same thing. Like she'd won the round.
"Well, obviously she did," Jacob chuckled.
Well, lunch would be another story. I would have better success with getting answers out of her than Jessica, I would make sure of that.
I could hardly bear to check in occasionally with Jessica through the fourth hour.
I had no patience for her obsessive thoughts of Mike Newton. I'd had more than enough of him in the last two weeks. He was lucky to be alive.
I moved apathetically through gym class with Alice, the way we always moved when it came to physical activity with humans. She was my teammate, naturally. It was the first day of badminton.
"Badminton!" Bella repeated in a whisper... she didn't like the sounds of having a racket in her hand.
Of course, all this exclamation did was cause Jacob to chuckle at her reaction.
I sighed with boredom, swinging the racket in slow motion to tap the birdie back to the other side. Lauren Mallory was on the other team; she missed.
Alice was twirling her racket like a baton, staring at the ceiling.
We all hated gym, Emmett especially. Throwing games was an affront to his personal philosophy. Gym seemed worse today than usual??I felt just as irritated as Emmett always did.
Before my head could explode with impatience, Coach Clapp called the games and sent us out early. I was ridiculously grateful that he'd skipped breakfast??a fresh attempt to diet??and the consequent hunger had him in a hurry to leave campus to find a greasy lunch somewhere. He promised himself he would start over tomorrow...
"Yeah, right... I believe him," Jacob rolled his eyes.
This gave me enough time to get to the math building before Bella's class ended.
Enjoy yourself, Alice thought as she headed off to meet Jasper. Just a few days more to be patient. I suppose you won't say hi to Bella for me, will you?
I shook my head, exasperated. Were all psychics so smug?
FYI, it's going to be sunny on both sides of the sound this weekend. You might want to rearrange your plans.
"He's not going to cancel, is he?" Bella frowned, that would be devastating to her.
I sighed as I continued in the opposite direction. Smug, but definitely useful.
I leaned against the wall by the door, waiting. I was close enough that I could hear Jessica's voice through the bricks as well as her thoughts.
"You're not sitting with us today, are you?" She looks all??lit up. I bet there's tons she didn't tell me.
"Oh, you have no idea," Jacob chuckled.
"I don't think so," Bella answered, oddly unsure.
Hadn't I promised to spend lunch with her? What was she thinking?
"Sorry, you don't get to know that," Jacob laughed.
They came out of the class together, and both girls' eyes widened when they saw me. But I could only hear Jessica.
Nice. Wow. Oh, yeah, there's more going on here than she's telling me. Maybe I'll call her tonight?? Or maybe I shouldn't encourage her. Huh. I hope he moves past her in a hurry. Mike is cute but??wow.
Again, Bella's voice turned a little angry and Jacob had to laugh at that.
"See you later, Bella."
Bella walked toward me, pausing a step away, still unsure. Her skin was pink across her cheekbones.
I knew her well enough now to be sure that there was no fear behind her hesitation. Apparently, this was about some gulf she imagined between her feelings and mine. More than he likes me. Absurd!
"You know, if he annoys you so much, you don't have to like him," Jacob said.
"It's too late for that, Jake," Bella said. "And his thoughts can be annoying, but that doesn't make me like him any less."
"Hello," I said, my voice a tad curt.
Her face got brighter. "Hi."
She didn't seem inclined to say anything else, so I led the way to the cafeteria and she walked silently beside me.
The jacket had worked??her scent was not the blow it usually was. It was just an intensification of the pain I already felt. I could ignore it more easily than I once would have believed possible.
Bella was restless as we waited in line, toying absently with the zipper on her jacket and shifting nervously from foot to foot. She glanced at me often, but whenever she met my gaze, she looked down as if she were embarrassed. Was this because so many people were staring at us? Maybe she could hear the loud whispers??the gossip was verbal as well as mental today.
"Argh," Bella groaned, she wasn't sure if she noticed the other people or not, but she didn't like hearing it now. Then her mind drifted as she thought about the attention she now knew she was going to get in soon on her first day of school.
Or maybe she realized, from my expression, that she was in trouble. She didn't say anything until I was assembling her lunch. I didn't know what she liked??not yet??so I grabbed one of everything.
"What are you doing?" she hissed in a low voice. "You're not getting all that for me?"
"Why are you complaining... it's free food," Jacob said, incredulously.
Bella shrugged, she was sure he wouldn't understand her reason.
I shook my head, and shoved the tray up to the register. "Half is for me, of course."
