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Warm, sweeping, glorious, relief, the most powerful emotion that had hit me in days, more forceful than my anger, my agony...my pain, rushed over me. This emotion was so full of an alleviation and ease that all of the anguish and distress was leaving my body as I saw the emotions in Bella's eyes again. At the sight, I realized that I never truly appreciated her beauty. My eyes looked up as I silently prayed to whatever entity that kept her alive, letting them know how devoutly thankful I truly am. Looking back at her, the deep depths, the windows to her soul, continued to move in quick irregular motions as she reached up to pull the oxygen tube from her nose.
"No, you don't." I reached over to stop her hand.
My chin was resting only inches from her face when her eyes finally met mine. She was disorientated.
"Edward?" Her voice was hoarse, drained, like she was fatally wounded. A tiny pucker formed between her brows. She tried to focus on my face. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry!"
She was sorry? What did she need to be sorry for?
"Shhhh." I attempted to stop her insanity. "Everything's all right now." I tried to speak bracing words of comfort. She needn't be so anxious with her frail body being in such a broken state.
"What happened?" Her words were slurred slightly, almost like she was drunk.
Memories of the events that happened that fateful morning, which brought her to this place, rushed across my mind. My stomach bubbled with a sickening acid.
"I was almost too late. I could have been too late," I whispered, torment lacing each syllable.
"I was so stupid, Edward. I thought he had my mom."
Of course, she would try to put the blame on herself.
"He tricked us all," I said, trying to ease her mind. She really should be resting.
"I need to call Charlie and my mom," worry was present in her eyes...always worried about someone else, anyone else, but herself.
"Alice called them. Ren??e is here -- well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now."
"She's here?" She tried to sit up, her body swaying slightly. I couldn't let her hurt herself anymore so I lightly pushed her back down onto the pillows.
"She'll be back soon," I promised. "And you need to stay still."
"But what did you tell her?" Her voice was panicked. "Why did you tell her I'm here?" Even in her drugged stupor, she was still trying to protect our secret. Without effort, my love radiated out of me along with the agony that rippled through me at the thought of what actually happened just those two days ago.
"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." You were tortured by a vicious vampire and I was nearly too late. "You have to admit, it could happen." I tried to lighten the mood with this small joke.
She sighed at my bad humor and I could see her wince slightly at the pain it caused. Her eyes finally left mine to roam over her broken and mangled body.
"How bad am I?" She asked, curious.
This time I sighed. The damage was extensive.
"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it -- it made you smell all wrong for a while." I took in a deep breath at the luxurious scent that now filled the small room, letting it sting my throat with the pleasurable burning sensation.
"That must have been a nice change for you," she half smiled.
She had it all wrong though. To imagine her without the palatable scent was almost unbearable, like I had drank all the goodness from her body and it was being replaced by some cheap imitation.
"No, I like how you smell."
"How did you do it?" Her voice was strained. I knew what she was asking.
Many memories stirred from that horrible morning. Blood was coming out of her in torrents, flooding the floor. The blood...how did I stop? I remembered the pleasure and the pain that consumed my body at just the mere thought of her warm blood in my mouth, my burning throat with the accompanied obsessive longing finally being quenched. The thought tore at every nerve in my body. The disgust I felt didn't stop me though; I still brought her wrist to my mouth and drank from her. Even when she yanked around in my grasp, thrusting against my hold, screaming, I didn't let go. I didn't even know how I did it.
"I'm not sure," there was the tiniest quiver in my voice.
Gently, I lifted her hand which was wrapped in white gauze, examining it carefully. Along with the ache that seared deep inside me, there was this new indication of what I was. A monster. A creature that should have no part in this angel's life.
Lightly caressing her hand I shivered at this sick souvenir that would always be on her wrist which made my dead heart shatter. The wires that connected her to all the monitors were just another vivid reminder on top of everything else at how fragile and breakable she was. Each passing second felt like borrowed time.
I sighed. "It was impossible... to stop," my voice was low, a whisper. But I did stop; I was able to keep her alive. "Impossible. But I did." My eyes met hers, a smile creeping up my face; a great rush of affection washing over me. "I must love you."
"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" She returned my smile.
The satisfaction...the gratifyingly warm blood in my mouth ?C it was beyond delicious. It coursed through my body, sweeter than life.
"Even better -- better than I'd imagined."
"I'm sorry," she apologized.
She was...sorry? Again, what was with the apologies? If it wasn't for my stupidity in the first place she wouldn't have even been in the situation to have her blood sucked by me, of all creatures. I looked up to the ceiling in exasperation before returning my gaze to her.
"Of all the things to apologize for."
"What should I apologize for?"
For a moment I was lost in desperate speculation, thoughts consuming my mind momentarily. Only one thing came to mind. "For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever."
If her life had ended that day...I shuddered...I too, would have died.
"I'm sorry," she apologized again.
"I know why you did it. It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me."
At this, I realized maybe she didn't trust me as much as I thought. She shouldn't trust me. Because of me, she was here in this hospital bed, for several days, fighting to regain consciousness.
"You wouldn't have let me go," she explained, like I should have known this.
"No," I replied in a stern tone. "I wouldn't."
She shuddered and then slightly winced. My eyes roamed over her to find the culprit of her obvious pain, my nerves being pulled tighter at her discomfort.
"Bella, what's wrong?" I pleaded
She ignored me, wanting more answers.
"What happened to James?"
James, I growled internally; the enemy being brought to the forefront of my mind.
"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him," I said with clenched teeth.
Bella needed me, I knew that, but regardless, jealousy still rippled through me at the thought that it wasn't me who got to pull him apart - it wasn't me who burned him.
Her eyebrow furrowed. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."
"They had to leave the room... there was a lot of blood."
Everyone's actions that night caught me off guard; all of them behaving like there was not a single drop of blood spilled in the building. Luckily, we all have no need for oxygen.
"But you stayed," she stated with a deep fervor, her face smoothing.
"Yes, I stayed."
Obviously, I stayed. She needed me...she would have died. Preventing that was most important.
"And Alice, and Carlisle ..." she said in conjecture.
Of course they stayed, too. They consider her part of our family.
"They love you, too, you know."
"Did Alice see the tape?" She asked anxiously.
"Yes," I gritted my teeth. I remembered watching the tape through Alice's mind, the things he did to Bella ?C the way he taunted me on the video.
"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember," Bella explained, distracting me.
I nodded. "I know. She understands now," I said darkly.
That was all James did; hurt people and their families, only leaving reminders of his presence.
Bella's hand came up to reach for my face, but the IV stopped her from moving far.
"Ugh." She winced.
My head came up from her pillow, concerned. "What is it?" I asked anxiously, the image of James still in my view ?C anger still coursing through me.
"Needles," she explained, looking up like she was going to be sick.
She took several deep breaths. Instantly, the anger left my body as humor replaced it. The absurdity of it all ?C she was beaten by a vampire, yet this...needle, of all things, makes her sick.
"Afraid of a needle," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..."
She rolled her eyes.
"Why are you here?" She asked.
Instantly, I felt a chill in my stomach. I just stared at her, surveying her face, confusion sweeping over me. Then, it hit me. Maybe she didn't want me here, which is understandable, but it still made my heart ache, my body shriveled in pain. My eyebrows pulled together as a frown replaced my previous amusement.
