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"Why?"
"I told you -- school, Charlie -- " she shrugged "ouch!"
Bella ?C how do I comfort her? Her hand fluttered uselessly over Bella's body. Her eyes narrowed in on an un-bandaged spot and patted lightly. Seriously, though ?C school? Charlie? I don't believe it.
"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," she stated firmly.
"It's not so bad."
Well, that wasn't the response I was hoping for.
Oh, come on. Ren??e scoffed. Again, I saw my face flash in front of her eyes before she turned back to Bella. "Is it this boy?" she whispered.
Bella opened her mouth and then closed it. What was she thinking?
"He's part of it," Bella finally spoke nonchalantly. "So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?"
"Yes." He's quite mysterious... "And I want to talk to you about that."
How stupid to even consider someone approving of me for their daughter.
"What about?" Her lips pressed together tightly.
"I think that boy is in love with you," Ren??e alleged, keeping her voice low.
"I think so, too."
Despite the situation we were under, I grinned at the memory of our time in the meadow, the first time I confessed my love for her.
"And how do you feel about him?" She was pushing for details, which means Bella will have to lie. I cringed internally at that thought. She was a horrible liar.
A small gush of air swept in and out of Bella's lungs before she spoke. "I'm pretty crazy about him."
This made me happy. I nearly took her life, yet, she was still 'crazy about' me.
"Well, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, he's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young, Bella..." I was hoping that I wouldn't have to have 'the talk' with her until she was older. She sighed. What was I expecting? She is seventeen after all.
"I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush."
Crush? Just a crush? Her words burned more than my thirst. Deep down I knew she was perpetrating a farce, but still, just like at her house before we left for Phoenix, the words caught me off guard.
Crush...I can handle that. Then it's not too serious after all. "That's right," she agreed.
Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round clock on the wall above my head. I need to get home...Phil. He'll be worried if I don't answer the phone.
Seeing the time for myself I was disheartened that my time with her was slowly passing by. Sooner than I'd like, I would have to leave her forever. Was I brave enough? Did I have enough will power...enough strength?
"Do you need to go?" Bella interrupted my reverie.
"Phil's supposed to call in a little while... I didn't know you were going to wake up..."
"No problem, Mom." Bella said indifferently. "I won't be alone."
That's right. I'll be here. She was just so soft and vulnerable. It seemed foolhardy to let her out of my sight, where anything could happen to her. And yet, the worst things that could happen to her would result from being with me. Deep down, I wished that she wasn't better off being away from me.
I bet you won't...not with Edward keeping an eye on you. "I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know."
"Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home -- I'll never notice." The words were slurred slightly, the drugged stupor still not completely worn off.
"I was too nervous," she admitted sheepishly. "There's been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone." Her eyes darted to the newspaper next to the bed.
"Crime?" Bella asked, thunderstruck.
It was awful. The building was in ruins. Ren??e was picturing the remains of the ballet studio. "Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground -- there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, honey?"
"I remember," her voice quivered slightly under - what I would expect to be ?C bad memories.
She looks scared. Maybe I should stay here... "I can stay, baby, if you need me."
"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edward will be with me."
Edward, again. That could also be a good reason to stay. "I'll be back tonight." I hope he heard that. She glanced at me again as she thought it.
"I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I don't want to
lose you." I never realized her clumsiness would come to this though. Seriously ?C a coma in the hospital.
I remembered Carlisle looking over Bella's X-ray at the hospital after the van nearly crushed her to death. She had many healed fractures. Trying to suppress laughter, I could stop the grin that spread across my face.
I wonder if that hot boy will be in the room. I heard the nurse's thoughts that checked on Bella yesterday. She came bustling in then to check all of the tubes and wires.
Ren??e watched the nurse for a minute. I better get going. I don't want to miss Phil's phone call. He'll be elated to hear that she is awake finally. She kissed Bella's forehead, patted her gauze-wrapped hand, and left.
The nurse was checking the paper readout on the heart monitor. Hum...I wonder if this is because of him. The nurse pictured my face. He makes my heart do funny things, too. Maybe she is just worried or nervous. I would be if I woke up from a coma, too. "Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there."
After Ren??e left I opened my eyes, watching the nurse interact with Bella, pushing her thoughts from my mind.
"I'm fine," Bella assured the nurse.
I'm sure you are. I'd be fine too if he was at my bed side. "I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute."
The nurse turned on her heals and strode quickly out of the room.
It took me less than a second to move to her side, so quickly that she didn't see me move from point A to point B. Instead of her being surprised, her tiny eyebrows rose in humor.
"You stole a car?"
Duh, I wanted to say. Instead I just smiled.
"It was a good car, very fast," I refused to apologize; she didn't seem to mind.
It had to be fast, my only purpose was to get to her as quickly as I could...to save her life before James had the opportunity to take her away from me forever. I was too late, but just in time to barely reverse the effects of the venom that had rushed down her veins.
"How was your nap?" She smirked.
"Interesting."
My mind was wondering, remembering her plea to stay in Forks and her word crush. My eyes narrowed slightly and she noticed the change in my facial features.
"What?"
Honestly, I was happy with her response to stay in Forks, but disappointed all the same because now I had to find the courage to tell her to go, that she would be better off without me in her life. Was I brave enough? Was I that self sacrificing? By the look on her face she had already read too much into my face so I looked down.
"I'm surprised. I thought Florida ... and your mother...well; I thought that's what you would want."
The many nights I watched her sleep, as her worries and thoughts were spoken freely, let me know how much she truly cared for her mother. Also, when she talked about Ren??e it was if a parent were talking about a child. Was she just tired of the responsibility of her mother? That was uncharacteristic of her, so probably not the culprit to her reasoning to stay in Forks. The word crush rang through my mind again and so I couldn't be the reason, either.
When I finally looked up she was staring at me uncomprehendingly. "But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire."
A real vampire? What am I, chopped liver? The humor quickly passed. It was time to convince her to go back home...to Florida.
"I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it," I explained." Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore."
She stared at me with a blank expression, like she was having trouble processing my words. Was it the drugs? Maybe this conversation should wait until she was more aware and alert. I was just making excuses. Her lips turned down into an unfathomable expression as the monitor magnified her heart beats which were quickly increasing. The beeping nose and the pounding in her chest were reaching a dangerous point, going so fast I was nervous. Her breathing picked up along with her heart. Soon, she was gasping, hyperventilating. Her eyes began to water as her face contorted into a horrible grimace of pain. The soft lines of her face were suddenly sharp and defined. I didn't know what to do, what to say.
That beeping doesn't sound good. I better go check it out. A different nurse came marching into the room. Maybe she had a remedy that I didn't. She looked over the monitors to see that her regular heart beat, and the insane palpitations that were pulsing wildly through her, were not the same. Wow, she looks like she is in a lot of pain. Jeesh, what a tortured face. . "Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked sweetly, tapping the IV feed.
"No, no," Bella choked out, the pain still clearly in her tone. "I don't need anything."
Of course, she didn't want to seem weak.
"No need to be brave, honey. It's better if you don't get too stressed out; you need to rest." The nurse waited, but she just shook her head.
"Okay," she sighed. "Hit the call button when you're ready."
This better not be his fault or I'm going to kick him out of the room so she can get some rest. The nurse's stare bore into me, like she was trying to burn a hole through my skull before she glanced at the machinery like she was warning me she could hear it. She left the room. I'll be listening.
Ignoring the overly observant nurse I placed my hands on Bella's face to bring her attention back to our conversation. Her eyes were full of moisture, the look in them wild with unease and anxiety. Her heart was still bounding wildly ahead.
"Shhh, Bella, calm down." I tried to soothe her.
"Don't leave me," she begged me, her voice cracking with the pain. Her pupils dilated in terror as her lips trembled uncontrollably.
When she begged like this, how could I deny her anything? All my plans, all my thoughts...every second of deciding to leave her crumbled into little pieces.
"I won't," I promised. "Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate you."
Still, her heart continued to thunder along, not relaxing one bit to my words. Great, I was going to give her a heart attack. All my efforts to keep her alive and just the mere thought of my absence would send her over the edge. A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I leaned toward the glorious soul in front of me... What had been for one purpose before was now for another. To stay. To keep her alive. To prevent her heart from exploding with the pain that I was feeling too.
