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“Fuck… Sam. I’m so sorry.” Rocky’s knuckles were pale as his grip tightened even further. His jaw twitched. I could see the anger that rose in him, something like a force of nature. “Did you press any charges?”
“I tried.” My lip started to quiver. I clenched my hand and dug my nails into my palm. I wasn’t going to break down. Not here. Later, once I got into my parents’ house. I could lock myself in the bathroom, run the shower, and cry my little heart out onto the cracked tile floor. But not now.
“His family had money. So much money. I was on a scholarship and had everything paid for, even my ramen noodles. My parents couldn’t help, and I also didn’t want to tell them… I felt… I don’t know. I felt ashamed.” My voice cracked. “It was the first thing they said to me when they found out I was leaving. Be safe, be smart, and don’t drink. I couldn’t tell them.” Instead of cracking, my voice broke completely. I could taste salt on my upper lip from tears I hadn’t even realized were falling.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping at my cheeks.
Rocky surprised me then. He reached across and laid a hand on my knee, stopping it from shaking. It was a touch I hadn’t been expecting and one I so desperately wanted. It no longer felt like I was shouting across miles of open water to be heard by him. We were now on the same boat, drifting together, toward a distant but bright horizon.
“You did nothing wrong.” His words were simple yet powerful. “Nothing. It’s the other fucker I want to strangle. To damage you in the way he had… Fuck. He deserves a life of pain. Did Hazel, when she found you, were you okay or—”
“She found me in time, yeah. He wasn’t able to do anything. Thankfully. Hazel said he was practically carrying me through the crowded hall. She was on her way to the bathroom and saw me. She knew I couldn’t have been that drunk since we had just gotten there. She went full Mama Bear mode. Ended up slapping him and leaving some scratches on his face.”
“Good.” Rocky sucked his tongue. “If I could get my hands on that asshole. Fuck. I don’t know what I’d do. Probably land myself in jail.”
I wanted to say that it was okay, that I didn’t need him to protect me. Instead, hearing him talk like that, well, it made my temperature shoot up into fever territory. Thinking that Rocky would be there, having my back and breaking the other guy’s. I hated any kind of physical violence, but I couldn’t help the caveman part of me from waking up at the idea.
“Well, it’s over now. I learned my lesson.”
“What lesson did you learn?”
I shrugged. “That people can wear all kinds of masks. I started talking to this guy because he seemed like the sweetest one out of all the people at that party. He had big brown doe eyes and an electric smile and a moppy head of light brown hair. He’d play with the glasses on his face, and he had jokes that made me laugh right from the start.” I swallowed what felt like a lump of coal. “But none of that mattered. He was still a monster underneath it all.”
Rocky stayed quiet for a moment as we drove down the empty highway. “It’s a good lesson, but don’t let it mess you up, all right? Don’t stop yourself from finding something good because you’re always assuming the worst.”
The way he said it made me feel as if he were speaking to himself more than to me. “That’s something I’ve got to work on,” I said. “I had a really hard time trusting anyone after that. It’s only been until recently that I’ve let my guard down a little bit.”
“How recently?”
I looked to him, a cocky smirk beginning to play across his face. “Very recently,” I answered, being coy.
The smile stayed on his face as the conversation shifted into more neutral territory. I thought maybe that since I opened up, Rocky would, too, but he kept those iron walls up as we continued to chat, now talking about Kim Petras, a crazy-good singer who Rocky had no idea about and who I had to pull up her entire discography for. At one point, I lowered the window and raised the volume, letting the dance beat fill me and the angelic voice lift me as wind filled the car, messing up my hair, making me feel alive.
“Do you want to come over?” Rocky shouted over the music and wind.
I didn’t miss a beat. “Sure!”
Rocky, cocky grin and all, pulled off the highway at the next exit. Before I knew it, we were driving through the wide streets of Coral Gables, the porches and driveways of the large houses all lit up, the families tucked away in their bedrooms or watching some late-night TV show in their living rooms. I lowered the music a bit but didn’t kill the vibe, still jamming to Kim and feeling a different kind of happiness tonight.
