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“I thought about leaving you and it gave me panic attacks, which is crazy because I don’t have you anymore. I mean, well right now we’re not together, but I’m hoping that changes.”
“Coury, I . . . I don’t want to push you away.”
“But?”
“I’m worried you’ll give it up and then regret it years from now.”
“I figured you’d feel that way. When I talked to my dad, I told him I’d met someone who had me rethinking playing ball beyond college. I told him it was you.”
“Oh geez, how’d that go?”
“I think at first he had this ‘oh great, a mini-Beckett’ moment.” He smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “Becks and me did some crazy stuff in high school.”
Liam laughed. “You think I didn’t know? Apart from listening to him and wishing it was me you did that with, I had to hear my parents go off on him for the stuff he did. And for the record? They knew it was Beckett leading that goat rodeo.”
“Good to know. Hopefully they won’t be against me dating their brilliant, handsome, amazing son.”
He squeezed Coury’s hand. “Flattery will get you most things, but you still need to explain.”
“Dad asked if I’d have regrets if I didn’t give baseball a try. I told him I didn’t know, but I do know I’ll regret walking away from you. He said I had my answer.”
Liam watched him, his expression serious. Coury had hoped for more excitement, but he understood. He was asking Liam to put his heart on the line for something that felt so abrupt.
“When I spoke to Beckett, he asked me if I was going to be okay bringing you to wherever I was, introducing you, or even calling you first thing after a great game. He knew I couldn’t do that.”
“Beckett asked that? My brother?”
Coury laughed. “He’s not as much of a Neanderthal as you think. That, and he loves you more than anyone. Even me.”
He gave it a few seconds to let Liam digest what he’d said.
“When Coach and the scout talked to me, the first person I thought to tell was you, but I couldn’t. Not being able to share any of what happens with you makes me sad. To chase a dream, I had to give up something real and tangible.
“Dreams are great Liam, but everything has a price. I don’t want that dream if it’s going to cost me you.”
“But Coury, you’ve spent your whole life working for this. I don’t know if I’m okay with you tossing it aside for me.”
“I’m not giving up anything for you, I’m doing it for me. For us. If this is your way of letting me down easy, just say no and I won’t bother you again.”
“No.” Liam shook his head, then put his hand on Coury’s leg. “I mean no, it’s not that.”
He took Liam’s hand in his. “I don’t know that I have the magic words to dispel your fears, but you like me. Not how smart I am or how well I play baseball, but me. I channeled so much into baseball to be good at something so people would notice me. But they didn’t see me, just how well I pitched or how many times I got a hit.
“But not you. You pushed me to be more than my slugging percentage or earn run average.”
“Considering I don’t have clue what either of those mean, I’ll agree with you.”
“See what I mean? Whether I play or I don’t, it doesn’t change how you feel. I’ve been searching for someone who would see me like that, and you’ve been right here all along.”
Liam didn’t say anything, but he ran his thumb over the back of Coury’s hand. The seconds felt like minutes.
“I told you already I’ve always had a crush on you, but dating you took it to a different level. Not only were you the same nice guy I always knew, you’re also sweet, thoughtful, and romantic. I want to say yes so badly, but I need to be sure you’ll be happy.”
Coury smiled and any shred of doubt faded. “There are no sure things, Liam, but I can’t imagine being unhappy if I’m with you. You’re worried about me, even if it means you don’t get what you want.
“My chances of making it to the majors are tiny. There are only 750 spots. With injuries, about a thousand guys get in at least one game a year. The average career for a position player is six seasons. Ten for pitchers. There are 7,500 players in the minor leagues and every year a thousand more get drafted.” Liam watched him rattle off the numbers with wide eyes. Coury shrugged. “I chose those data samples for my stats project.”
“Why doesn’t it surprise me you picked baseball statistics to study?”
“A certain world’s hottest tutor taught me it’s easier to learn something new if you can relate it to something you already know.” He winked. “One more to drive the point home, less than fifteen percent of all the players who played one inning last year were drafted after the twentieth round.”
