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His face went soft and goofy. “Good. Really good. I mean… except for the fact that Pippa has entered the terrible threes and has strong opinions like someone we know.”
“You?”
He laughed and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, maybe. And then there’s Reenie, who isn’t even one yet and is already getting close to walking. We think Pippa’s been bribing her to learn because she knows Nico and I will pull our hair out the minute Reenie’s that much more mobile.”
I listened to him talk about the girls for a little while longer. He probably knew that just being in his presence would help steady me for what was coming. Finally, it was time to face it.
“Are they sure she’s gone?” I asked in a small voice.
He sighed. “Yeah. There are several tests they can do—EEG, cerebral angiogram, cerebral perfusion scintigraphy—to be sure there’s no possibility of her recovery. They’ve done all of that. A head CT shows a severe hemorrhagic stroke. Even if she’d survived it, she most likely wouldn’t ever be able to control critical functions again. She would have spent the rest of her life in a bed, hooked up to machines.”
We watched as a man in a business suit came scurrying down the hall and into Annie’s room.
“I think that’s the pastor,” West said. “They’ve been waiting for him to come up from Denton.”
I bit back a groan. “She would hate that. The woman has a Buddha statue above her fireplace. She once said performative religion was like a spiritual beauty pageant.”
“Well, she’s not around to see it. If it brings Brian and Sharon some measure of comfort, what’s the risk?”
I side-eyed him. “Since when are you so reasonable and understanding?”
He dragged a hand through his hair, leaving it even more fashionably messy than it had been before. “Since realizing that death bed prayer and ritual can be the difference between a family member handling death with grace and completely losing their shit. Honestly, it doesn’t matter if religion is real. If it gives a mourner some measure of comfort in their loved one’s final moments, who are we to judge?”
I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he held up a hand. “I don’t mean other pain religion causes in the global sense. I simply mean, if it makes them feel better to say certain words over her body, so be it. When it’s your turn to say words over her body, you can be offered the same measure of respect, right?”
“Live and let live,” I muttered. “Now you sound like Neckie.”
Our sister-in-law was a hippie through and through, so much so that she literally taught yoga.
West touched his thumbs to his ring fingers and mimicked a meditative chant before I punched him in the shoulder to get him to cut it out.
After a few minutes of joking around, West met my eyes. “So… Doc and Grandpa said you met someone in St. Mitz…”
Older brothers were the worst.
The image of Worth laughing in the sun popped into my head uninvited. “Not really.”
West squeezed my shoulder. “Do me a favor and never play poker, m’kay?”
“He’s out of my league in every imaginable way,” I said.
West’s eyes became stormy. “Not possible. You’re in the highest league there is. There is no such thing as out of your league, do you hear me?”
Older brothers were the best.
“You have to say that. You’re biased.”
Doc and Grandpa walked up and handed me a bottle of apple juice and a bottle of water. Doc asked what West was biased about, but before he could answer, the door to Annie’s room opened again. Brian, Sharon, and the pastor walked out, speaking in hushed tones.
I stood and clasped my hands, waiting for an opening to ask if I could have a moment alone with Annie. When Brian saw me standing there, he seemed annoyed, but he flicked his hand toward the door in invitation.
Suddenly, I began to shake. I hadn’t realized until that moment how scared I was that he wouldn’t let me see her. “Thank you,” I whispered, moving past him and into the room.
She looked tiny in the bed, and the harsh hospital lighting made her look older than she was. Just seeing her familiar face brought back the tears as I neared the bed.
There were a couple of chairs pulled close, so I dropped into one and reached for her hand.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” I squeaked. “I’m sorry…” I blinked the tears back and thought about what I really wanted to say to her. “Thank you for loving everyone you met. For showing me what it meant to give everyone a chance to grow and change. Thank you most especially for encouraging me to grow and change.”
I glanced out the window, wondering how it was possible the world could continue to spin while such a force of nature was leaving us.
