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I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave Banks Consulting anytime soon—I wouldn’t do that to Mike and Chris right now—but I also knew I couldn’t stay there forever. Regardless of what happened between Chris and me, I needed to work directly with patients. I knew that now, and knowing it with such confidence calmed something in me.
When I entered my apartment, I was shocked to see Chris in my bed. He was leaning against the headboard, scrolling through his phone.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“You said we were staying over here tonight, so I came straight from the office. I picked up your favorite tikka masala. It’s in the microwave so the cats will stop messing with it.” He went back to looking at his phone like it was perfectly normal for him to be there. Despite having given him a spare key back when I’d first moved in, I could have counted on one hand the number of times he’d visited my place. It wasn’t that he didn’t like it, it was simply that my place was out of the center of the city and his was right in the middle of everything. His place had always been more convenient.
I set my things down and checked my own phone to reread the text I’d sent him.
Teo: I’m heading home to my apartment for the night.
Why was I annoyed?
I opened my mouth to say something about how I’d intended to spend the evening alone, but of course I couldn’t get the words out. That would be rude.
Socrates meowed up at me from the floor, demanding attention.
“The black one has been bitching like that ever since I got here. I think it’s hungry,” Chris said without looking up from his phone.
I fed the cats first and then put the groceries away. Finally, I pulled the Indian food out of the microwave and made myself a plate. “You want me to make you a plate too? There’s plenty here to share.”
He flapped a hand. “No, I already had mine. I was starving.”
I sat down at my little table and dug in, reaching down to give the cats scratches as they rubbed up against my leg.
Chris tossed his phone down and reached for the remote to my television. “Want to watch the Cubs game?”
I finished the last bite of dinner before standing up to clean my plate at the sink. “Sure. Going to grab a shower first though.”
It was all very normal… domestic. But not in the way I’d always imagined. Something was missing. I thought back to the night Jack had stayed over, the night before Gordon’s stroke. The morning after… when he’d made me coffee and fed the cats.
I stripped down and stepped into the shower. Memories of that night and morning washed over me with the hot water. I also thought back to the showers we’d taken together in Goose Bay where the sight of his large hands soaping up my body had made me hard as steel.
It was no surprise just the thought of Jack’s hands on me made me hard again. I stroked myself with the soap under the guise of washing. There was no way I was jacking off with Chris right on the other side of the door, especially if the man I was fantasizing about was my casual hookup and not Chris himself.
But fuck it felt good to feel myself and remember the way it had felt in Jack’s arms. The way he’d shoved me face-first into the shower wall one time and squatted down to rim me. I’d screeched in shock, but then the sound had quickly changed to moans and pleas for more.
I closed my eyes and remembered.
Suddenly, there was a draft in the shower. I opened my eyes to see a completely naked Chris opening my shower door with the clear intent of joining me. Before I realized it, I was screaming bloody murder and jumping out of my skin, grabbing onto the faucet to keep from slipping and falling. I accidentally turned the hot water off which left me under a spray of pure icy hell.
“Fucking hell! What are you doing in here?” I cried, throwing my hand in front of my rapidly deflating dick while at the same time trying to turn the hot water back on.
“Jesus, Tee. I was going to join you in the shower.”
What the hell was he talking about? “Since when?”
“Since you’re my boyfriend. Since I’ve been trying to make a fucking move on you all week.”
The B-word got my attention. I wasn’t sure it was possible to be more surprised and freaked-out at the moment. “Get out,” I said through my chattering teeth. “I can’t deal with this right now. Please get out and close the door.”
He looked hurt, but he did as I asked without complaint. Once I was left in the bathroom by myself and I finally had the water at a decent temperature again, I stared at the closed door that separated me from Chris.
