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“Say it.”
Jenna looked up to see Colt staring at her. She realized she was caught overthinking again. But this time, could she really put it all out there? If he rejected her, Jenna knew deep down that she’d be left empty and always searching for the kind of rightness she felt with Colt.
That was a lot of power to give someone, and while Colt saw the good in her, Jenna didn’t trust herself. And that was the problem. That would always be the problem.
“Today has been perfect, Colt.”
He took her glass and set it down. He reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head and tossed it to the floor. It was the only piece of clothing she had on. Colt undressed, then in one slow movement, swooped over her.
Jenna lay on her back, the soft rug tickling her skin. Colt hovered over her, his big body caging her in. He reached for a condom from his discarded pants and rolled it on before placing himself at her entrance. Resting his forearms by her face, he looked down at her as he slid into her body.
It felt right. Too right. A tear stung behind her eyes and before Jenna could think better of it, the bead of sorrow slid down her temple and into her hair.
“Oh no, sugar. What’s this?” He wiped the tear away with his thumb and eased out of her. “Am I hurting you?”
She clutched his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him back inside her. “No. I just…the real world is right outside those doors. I don’t want to leave this.”
Colt kissed her. Soft, deep. As if every emotion he was feeling came through in that one heated stroke of his mouth against hers. “We’ll make it work.”
Jenna hugged him closer. Deep down, she had a feeling she was going to lose Colt. And nothing had ever terrified her more.
Chapter Nineteen
Jenna knocked on her mother’s front door. After a couple wonderful days with Colt, she braced herself for what she knew was coming: reality.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” was all Miranda said. Thankfully she wasn’t drunk, but she didn’t look well. Come to think of it, Miranda Justice hadn’t looked well in quite a long time.
“I brought you a few more groceries,” Jenna said and handed her mother the bag, which she took and didn’t slam on the floor this time. “There’s some red licorice in there too.” It was Miranda’s favorite.
“You sucking up to me, little girl?” She put the bag inside and returned to face Jenna at the doorway.
“No, I just came by to say hi and—”
“And check on me.”
“You’re my mom,” Jenna said, because that was her reason behind her feelings for Miranda. So many times she had let her down and Jenna had more than a dozen good reasons to hate her. But she didn’t. “I just want you to be okay, Mama.”
Something sad flashed in her mother’s eyes, and it made Jenna’s sting in return. For years she watched her mother struggle. Chase something she deemed better than her life, something better than Jenna.
“I’m sorry I’m not enough, Mama.”
Miranda frowned, but nodded, confirming what Jenna had always known: her mother was constantly looking for something more than what Jenna’s existence could provide. Sixteen was young, and that was when Miranda became a mother. Jenna knew she’d never been happy since, and it was likely her fault. The two things she’d seen her mother value were men and alcohol. Until the effects of both wore off and she was looking for the next high.
It wasn’t until Jenna had spent time with Colt that she started understanding. Love was a high. The feeling of being needed, wanted, desired…it could mess with your mind. Because it had started messing with Jenna’s. She’d never been as happy as when she was with Colt, and yet, it wasn’t real. Everything about their relationship was flawed and secret. Their lives didn’t match, and yet…she still chased. Chased a man who may never be catchable. Then what? Would she be where her mother is? Miserable and depressed and looking for the next guy with wheels and promises to take her away from all the pain and provide something better?
Jenna swallowed hard.
Was she staring at her future? Because the thought of not having Colt made her chest hurt so badly it scared her.
“And what about you?” Miranda examined Jenna’s face. The usual viciousness wasn’t behind her eyes. “Are you okay, little girl?”
“I try to be.”
“Something going on?”
Jenna shrugged. This was the first sober, nice conversation she had with her mother in a while and despite knowing better, Jenna jumped on the opportunity. “I have this job I’m going for that the school board has to vote on coming up.”
Her mother nodded, not seeming to be convinced. “That all?”
