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I squeezed my eyes shut, but the tears just continued to run. Silently. Never ending. This felt like a nightmare, one I had jumped into and was now stuck in. The more time passed, the more I replayed every moment I’d spent with Roman. And all of them had been lies. I’d been stupid, naïve, and used on a whole new level.
Nothing.
Whether spoken by my mother’s voice, Roman’s, or my own, the word skewered me just the same. Right through the very center of my being, leaving nothing but a gaping hole. The pain was so great, it made me numb.
I didn’t know how long Roman stayed out there. His knocking became almost soothing, and my eyes were too swollen from crying to keep them open any longer. So I closed them. The last thing I dared to hope was that this was all a dream, and that when I woke, it would all fade away.
It wasn’t light that woke me, it was darkness. I glanced at the clock. It was just past seven in the evening. I had slept through the day. Keeping the blanket wrapped around my shoulders, I did a quick check of the apartment.
Still alone.
With the election in less than forty-eight hours, I figured Paige would be basically MIA, and Hazel had finals coming up, so most of her time was spent at the library. I did not want to be in this apartment by myself right now, with only my thoughts for comfort. They were no comfort at all.
My bones creaked like an old house. My face was hot and tender, like I’d been slapped several times.
There was a light knock at the door. My heart stopped, thinking it was Roman, still outside. But a soft, sweet voice rang out instead.
“Amy?” Knock, knock. “Amy, it’s Regina, dear.”
Just the sound of her voice made the tears rise again. My own mother had disowned me, yet Regina was here.
I walked to the door and opened it slightly.
“He’s not with me,” she said softly as her gaze roamed over my face. “You poor thing. May I come in?”
I nodded and opened the door.
“C-can I get you something to drink?” I offered, feeling ridiculous but trying to hold it together and be somewhat hospitable.
Regina simply opened her arms and wrapped me in the biggest hug I’d ever experienced. It was so surprising and so welcoming that those stupid tears I’d been fighting came flooding out.
I hugged her back. She smelled like cinnamon cookies and kindness. Like a mother.
“Shh, it’s alright, honey,” she said. “Come sit down.” We walked to the couch and she sat me down. “I’m going to make you some tea and toast.”
Before I could argue with her, she walked into my kitchen and set straight to work, finding things and making me food while I attempted to pull myself together.
“There we are.” She placed the tea and buttery toast on the coffee table.
“Thank you,” I said and looked at her. “I assume you know?”
“Roman called me.” She patted my hand. “But I’m not here to fight his battles.”
I took a sip of my tea. “Thank you for coming anyway.”
“Of course. Call it crazy, but the moment I met you, I knew you were a special girl. And whatever happens with you and Roman, it won’t change the fact that I’m here for you.”
“Why?” I asked. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but today had made me gun-shy. It was hard to believe that everyone didn’t have an agenda of their own.
“You’re one of the strong ones.” Regina rubbed my shoulder. “And a nurturer. I could instantly see an innocent ferocity in you. When you apply it to the people you love, it’s a wonderful thing, but it can be hard on you.”
I just shook my head. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“You’re a fighter, Amy.”
I looked at her questioningly because after only one brief previous encounter, there was no way Regina could know me.
As if reading my mind, she said, “Oh, I know all about you, dear. And I can tell you right now, only the tough ones survive the kind of loss you’ve had.” She glanced at her hands and her lip trembled a bit. “It’s hard to see the good when something so terrible happens. It’s hard to let go of the anger, but you did. You strive to make others feel better, safer.”
