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“I haven’t done anything. I’ve failed.”
“No, dear.” She patted my face gently. “New Beginnings is growing because of you. People will get help. Like I did.”
I frowned. “You were at New Beginnings?”
She nodded. “The world needs people like you, Amy.” She let out a long breath and raised an eyebrow. “The world also needs people like my son.”
“You mean the kind of people wh
o take over your world,” I muttered. It wasn’t a question: I knew firsthand that Roman Reese was a force greater than gravity. And without it, the effects were brutal.
“Yes. You and my son have very similar qualities, he just acts on his differently. But he loves just as fiercely…and it breaks his heart. Which is why he hasn’t, until now.” She swallowed hard.
“Who broke his heart?” I asked.
Despite the current situation, the part of my brain I feared would never go away that was still wrapped up in Roman wanted to know who caused him pain.
“I did,” Regina whispered. “Over and over, I broke his trust and his faith and replaced them with fear.” A tear ran down her face, and her gold bracelet jingled as she wiped it away. “But you have brought out a softness in him. An ease. You are very important to him.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not.”
I appreciated Regina’s honesty, and I hurt to know what she and Roman had gone through. But I didn’t know what step to take now. All I knew was that I had been a part of a scheme. A plan Roman had had in place the whole time. And that made everything we’d shared a part of that scheme.
Tears flooded my eyes again.
“Amy.” She shifted to face me fully and clasped her hands together. “Roman hasn’t asked me for anything in more than twenty years. I don’t know exactly what happened between you two, but I can tell you that he cares more about you than anyone else.”
“It was a setup,” I whispered. I didn’t want to go into the whole story, but the basics were simple. “It was never about love, it was all a plan. A means to a political end.”
Regina took a deep breath. “That’s my fault.” I frowned and looked at her. “Up until you, dear, Roman hasn’t trusted a soul on this earth. What I did to him—how I left him—” she shook her head, more tears in her eyes. “It’s a defense mechanism. One I created in him. If you always have a plan, then you have control of everything and everyone in your life. You can’t be hurt. Can’t be blindsided. Can’t be left.”
“I’m sorry for what you both went through,” I said. “I’m so proud of you that you got sober. It must have been so hard.”
She looked at me and smiled. “Thank you, dear. But I’ve fought my battles and had my woes. And all that has led me here, to you. Maybe this time, I can take responsibility for my part in this and help my son. I don’t want this to be the end of you two.”
“He lied to me. From the beginning. You didn’t make him do that,” I said hoarsely.
“No, I didn’t. But he trusts you.”
“How can you know?”
“Because he called me. I am the last person he’d turn to for help. And on the phone, not once did he defend himself or explain his side.”
“He didn’t?”
She shook her head. “No. He didn’t. He merely said, ‘Mom, I messed up, and Amy’s hurting and alone right now.’ You were his first concern. He said he wanted you to know that you still had somebody. That you weren’t alone. If you wouldn’t see him, maybe you’d see me, and I could tell you that.”
Fresh tears streamed down my face, and something very dangerous emerged in the shadows of my soul.
Hope.
“I know what withdrawal looks like, dear.”
She brushed a lock of hair away from my brow, and the gesture made me think of Roman. He did that every time he was trying to be soothing, a trait he must have gotten from his mother. It made me sad for him, for her, for both of them. So much time lost, so many feelings hurt. So much grief.
“Both of you are struggling. The good things in life aren’t always easy, but they’re worth fighting for, if they’re right.”
“I love him,” I admitted. Love had never been the issue for me, maybe from the beginning.
