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“We don’t know.” I shrugged again, trying to appear calm even as I felt my throat tighten. It had been over twenty years, but I missed my dad every day. His death still had me reeling. “He was shot on assignment, investigating organized crime.”
Lauren hugged me hard. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I splashed my feet in the water. “I didn’t say anything because I…couldn’t. I don’t like to talk about it.”
“Gabe.” She rubbed my back. “I want to know about your family. It’s important to me.”
I stiffened. “What was I supposed to say? That my father did dangerous work so that he could support his family in a nice lifestyle? So that my brothers and I could go to camps, play travel hockey, and go on ski trips? That he died doing a job that paid for my Ivy League education, but that I dropped out because I was so angry all the time?” My voice came out sharper than I wanted.
Lauren held me close, undeterred. “I thought you dropped out because you wanted to come out here and start your company.”
“That’s true. I did. But it wasn’t the only reason.”
Neither of us said anything for a moment. Levi’s words rang in my ears. “…happy playing the pretty-boy CEO…too good for the rest of us…”
“I moved out here to start something of my own. I wasn’t chasing this.” I motioned toward my massive house.
“Gabe. No one thinks that,” Lauren said. “What you have, the things you own, are just a by-product of your hard work. Your work helps people. And your father knew you were special—that you were capable of great things. He wanted you to have every opportunity, and he probably wanted to protect you. Your whole family wanted that for you.”
“I want to believe that. All of that.” I just wasn’t sure if I did.
I should be the person Lauren thought—she deserved that and more—but I had my doubts. “Sometimes I think my father was wrong about me, and that Clive Warren was right. I am a thug, hiding behind the CEO package. Yes, I went into biotech because I thought I could help people. But I’ve done some things…things you wouldn’t approve of.”
“Like what?” She pressed her head against my chest. “You can tell me.”
I blew out a deep, resigned breath. “I’ve done some things with my business dealings that you don’t know about. Things I haven’t shared.”
I felt Lauren tense ever so slightly. “Like what?”
Fuck. It’s now or never. I’d been dreading this moment. “Like when people have hacked me in the past, I’ve had them beaten. When people have stolen from me, I’ve threatened them.”
“Can you explain the term ‘threaten’ in this context? Do you mean threaten threaten?”
“Yes, I mean threaten threaten. As in, you steal the underlying technology from my patent application, I have my guys break your face.” I grimaced.
Her eyes widened. “You’ve done that?”
“I’ve had to do that, in order to keep people from ripping me off. You know what it’s like—it’s rough out here. There’s a lot of growth and opportunity, but with that come the lowlifes, the copycats, and the hackers. People who want to shortcut their way to a payout—although I haven’t run into anyone quite as flagrantly criminal as Li Na before.”
“She’s special, all right.”
“You know firsthand that there’s a lot at stake—and in this game, your proprietary technology is all you’ve got. I haven’t held back when I’ve protected what’s mine. I’m sorry if that’s a shock.”
She was quiet for a minute, looking up at the sky.
I put my hand on her thigh and squeezed. “I guess I should have told you all this. Before I moved you in here and asked you to make me all sorts of promises.”
“You don’t owe me an apology. I know who you are. And it doesn’t change how I feel, not at all.” She shook her head, some of her former spark lighting up her blue eyes. “Underneath the jeans and T-shirt—and that hybrid car—you might very well be a thug. But you’re my thug.”
She pulled me in for a brief, tender kiss. “I love you for who you are, and for the things you’ve done. Even the bad things. Because they’re a part of you, and I love all of you.”
“I love you too.” I rested my forehead against hers, relief washing through me. Now that we’d had this conversation, I didn’t have to hide the truth from her. I no longer had to wonder how she’d feel if she found out.
“When we get Hannah back, when this is all over…” she started.
“What?”
“I just want us to be safe. I want your inner thug to take a sabbatical—or maybe a permanent vacation. I don’t want to have to go after hackers, or kidnappers, or deal with any corporate espionage.”<
