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“Do I just touch him?”
“No, it's not that simple. Otherwise you'd drain everyone you ever touched. Put your hand there--right over his heart. That's where the soul is centered. Then you have to want it. You have to know it should be yours and want it and call for it. It'll hear you, because that's what we're made for. We're the Empty Ones, and the souls want to come to us. That's why we can see everything, why we can see past the glamours. And once you have more, you can see straight through to souls. ” She put her free hand on my arm, and I could hear the happiness in her voice. “It's beautiful, Evie, and they'll all be ours. Together. ”
Nodding, I put my hand on Reth's chest. His achingly lovely face had gone calm, and he regarded me with placid eyes.
“You've got to want it,” Vivian said eagerly. “Take it. ”
And then I knew. I knew what I wanted. “Hey, Viv,” I said, trying not to cry as I turned to look at her. I could feel her joy at finally connecting with someone. “I'm sorry you were alone for so long. And I'm sorry. So sorry. ”
I shoved my palm against her chest. She was so hot it burned. I could feel her searing my flesh, but I didn't move, closing my eyes and, for the first time, opening myself up, inviting the souls in.
Nothing happened.
Vivian ripped my hand away from her chest and threw me across the room. I slammed into the wall, pain blossoming through my whole body. “Why'd you do that? Do you want me to kill you? Because I will! I don't need your pity, you pathetic little thing. Do you know what I am? I'm a god, Evie. I am death, and I am life, and I can't believe I wanted to share this with you. The faeries were right. ” She shook her head as she crossed the room and stood over me, bright and terrible. “There's no point in keeping you around. ” She pulled me up by my hair, forcing my face right next to hers. I could feel my skin turning red from the heat, the stench of burning hair stinging my nose. Her voice lowered, softened. “I should have known you wouldn't understand, you wouldn't really want it. But don't worry. I'll add what little soul you've managed to scrape together to my collection. That way we really can be together forever. ”
She put her hand over my heart.
I held my breath, clutching at the last precious seconds of my life. How woul
d death feel? Her hand was hot, burning. But that was it--my life didn't rush out of me.
Her shoulders started shaking and I realized why it wasn't working. “You have to want it,” I whispered. Vivian didn't want to kill me. Lifting my own hand, I put it gently over her heart. I understood now--I wanted it. I wanted those souls, wanted to free them from her. “Let go, Viv. ”
I gasped, stiffening as the heat burst through her skin, racing like an electric current through my entire body. I was flooded with it, overwhelmed. Nothing existed but me and the fire spreading to every cell.
Vivian dimmed, all her fire draining. Her features became clearer, the flames dwindling until they were only in her heart and behind her eyes. Just a little more, I knew, just a little more and she'd be gone. And then I felt her. Felt Vivian, her own soul. It was such a tiny, broken thing, and I longed to take it, give it haven in myself. I nearly did, until I saw her eyes. They had gone cold--so cold, and blank.
I ripped my hand away and Vivian fell to the ground. I thought I could still see a spark, the very faintest hint of a soul.
And then I didn't care.
With the fire coursing through me everything was removed, like I was seeing the world as it truly was--nothing but a passing dream, dark and cold and dead. I was eternal and nothing in this existence, nothing in this normal life I had craved so much, mattered at all.
“It's about time,” Reth said, leaning casually against the counter.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
PATHS AND POSSIBILITIES
I looked at Reth. Filled as I was, I could see better than ever through his natural form and straight to his soul. It was beautiful. Unlike the liquid flames he'd given me, his soul was stationary, crystallized. It was the same bright gold of all the other souls but utterly unchanging.
“I was going to be cross with you, calling an Unseelie faerie right to you. If you had died, I would have been very disappointed. But this worked out nicely. Now we don't have to waste time filling you. ” He stood up straight, smiling. “We can get right to the fun part. ”
“The fun part?” Even my voice sounded different; it was richer, layered, like multiple versions of myself were speaking at the same time. An immortal voice.
“Oh, yes. ” He clapped his hands. “We can dance all night, every night, and you'll last forever now. Of course, there's work to do as well. But that can wait until after I've taken you around the court. They'll all be thrilled to meet you. And now that you'll be joining us, I can explain everything to you. Listen to me, prattling on. I'm so pleased we won, that you can come home with me where you belong. ”
“Why?”
He looked puzzled. “Why what?”
“Why would I come with you?”
“Well, you certainly don't belong here anymore! You can feel it, can't you? The transience, the flimsiness of this world? Besides, it's impossible to keep anything clean. ” He frowned down at his waistcoat and brushed at it. “And then there's the work to be done, gates to be opened, homes to find. I'm glad it's going to be your poem. Far more cheerful. ”
“My poem. ” I would have been eager to know before, desperate almost, but it was difficult to care, burning with life, so much life.
“Let's see, how did that one go. . . 'Eyes like streams of melting snow,' and so striking, by the way. 'Cold with the things she does not know. Heaven above and Hell beneath, liquid flames will end her grief. With her fire, at last release. With her fire, at last release. '”
