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I don’t know where it all went wrong.
We danced. We kissed like teenagers. I got naked. We kissed some more. I touched Milo’s penis. Then, boom. Things took a turn. One minute we were full throttle, and the next he was standing across the room, tucking his cock back into his jeans, and apologizing for not being able to have sex with me.
“I’m sorry” is the very last thing you want to hear when you’re ready to turn in your V-card to the man of your dreams. The man you are head over heels in love with.
Apparently, my biggest fear was actually my reality.
What I’m feeling is one-sided. I’m both feet, all in, ready to take the next step, and Milo’s had one foot out the door the entire time.
The mere thought of him and what happened and the awful realization that you can’t just fall out of love with someone even if they don’t love you back has tears filling my eyes.
Now, I remember why I wanted to stay in bed all the livelong day.
But when I spot the time on my phone, I realize I have to get it together. I have to swallow back all of my emotions and get ready to head to Wendy’s Bridal.
Today isn’t about me. Or my fucking feelings.
It’s about Sadie. Evan’s fiancée. My soon-to-be sister-in-law.
It’s about watching her slip on her wedding dress one last time before her big day.
With a deep, cavernous breath, I force some much-needed oxygen in and out of my lungs and command myself to walk into the bathroom and hop in the shower.
I will not screw up this day for her.
I repeat that mantra during my shower and when I’m blow-drying my hair and even when I’m getting myself dressed.
I repeat it for the entire six blocks it takes me to reach the bridal shop.
And I repeat it two more times before I wrap my fingers around the chrome of the entrance doorknob and step inside.
“Maybe!” My mom greets me with a giant grin, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me so tight, I fear she might crack a rib. Luckily, though, she lets go before internal damage sets in. “I can’t believe the big day is almost here!” she squeals.
“It’s hard to believe,” I say, trying like hell to remove the sadness from my voice and end up sounding like I’m in a damn musical. “But so very ex-cit-ing!”
My mom tilts her head to the side. “Are you feeling okay?”
Whoops. Guess I overcompensated a bit there.
“Of course.” I clear my throat. “I’m just so happy that Sadie is going to officially take Evan off our hands.”
“Now, be careful what you say. There’s still time for me to back out.” Sadie’s laughter fills my ears, and I turn to find her stepping out of one of the dressing rooms.
My amusement gets caught in my throat when I take in the beauty that is Sadie Cleary—soon-to-be Sadie Willis—in her wedding dress.
“Oh my gosh.” I put a hand to my lips. “You look so beautiful that I literally might cry.”
“Yeah?” she asks and steps up onto the elevated platform in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors.
“Yes. You are perfect,” I say, and I sincerely mean it. “Evan is going to die when he sees you.”
“Well, Lord Almighty, I hope that’s not the case. It’d be awful to have to plan a funeral the day after my wedding.” She grins and I giggle.
“You know what I mean.”
“It’s good to see you, Maybe.”
I step past my mom and the bridesmaids and Sadie’s mom and the bridal shop attendants seeing to her train. Carefully, I wrap my arms around my future sister-in-law’s shoulders and give her a gentle hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
I lean back, keeping her hands locked in mine, and take another look at her dress.
Creamy white with lace and exquisite beading and the kind of ideal mermaid fit that shows off all of her fabulous curves, this dress couldn’t be any more perfect if she’d dreamed it up.
“Beautiful,” I whisper. “You truly make a stunning bride.”
Tears fill her eyes and a smile lifts her lips. “Aw, Maybe, you’re gonna make me cry!”
“Too late for that!” my mom says behind us. I turn to find her, along with three other women in our party, dabbing tissues beneath their eyes.
I shrug and smile, and for a little while, I actually forget about the emotional Milo baggage hanging heavy on my shoulders.
I laugh with my mom and Sadie’s bridesmaids over embarrassing stories about Evan.
I tell Sadie how gorgeous she looks in her veil.
I try on my pale-pink bridesmaid’s dress and pick out the perfect pair of nude heels to go with it.
I even hug and joke around with ole Bruce when he stops by to say hello.
But when the afternoon is done and I’m back in my apartment, my brain fixates back on Milo. Racing thoughts of rejection and confusion and the horrible realization that a broken heart is one of the most painful things I’ve ever felt consume me.
