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More awkward moments followed. It was like we were dancing around each other, neither knowing the correct steps, but both doing our best not to step on each other's toes. This would never do. His cousin was married to my best friend, and it was inevitable that we'd see each other on occasion. When I suggested we walk away from each other, I didn't mean we shouldn't be in the same room together and that we couldn't try to be friends. Although, the friend thing was a little questionable when I basically lusted after him. I'd have to see if the acting gene had made its way to me.
Breaking the moment, Jax opened my door for me. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. Instead, he tugged my ponytail. "See you around?"
"Are you going to meet us tonight?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Probably not. It's not my kind of thing."
I hated the disappointment I felt. "Oh. I hope you'll change your mind."
A scowl darkened his face. "Do you?"
Puzzled, I answered, "Sure. Why wouldn't I? You worked hard today. You should take a break."
"And do what? Sit around and watch the newlyweds slobber all over each other?"
Talk about mercurial! Was he trying to pick a fight with me? I refused to take the bait.
"I think it's sweet. Besides, they won't be the only ones there. Paul and his girlfriend will be there."
"And will you be there looking to get laid?"
"Wh…what?"
"You know, you mentioned that maybe you’d try to find someone tonight? I'd think you were asking if I'd be there so you could pick me, but you've already shot that down, so you must be looking for someone else. Maybe you should ask Bowtie Guy to go with you. He wouldn't turn you down, although I'm not sure he knows what to do. But you can teach him since your sex life is fine and all. Or maybe you like to pick up strangers. You did kiss me before you even knew my name."
I was momentarily stunned into silence. My arm recovered before my mouth. Without realizing I was doing it, I brought my hand across Jax's face, leaving a bright red mark on his face. I'm not sure which of us was more surprised, but I had to admit I felt better.
"You know what, Jax? You're an ass. You're the one who said I deserved better. You made that decision for me. So go home to your empty house and your safe lovers. You were right. I do deserve more. And tonight, tomorrow, or whenever, I'm going to find it."
I climbed into my car and yanked the door closed. I half hoped I ran over his foot as I backed out of the driveway and peeled down the street. Thank goodness Paul and Jade had already left. Hopefully, Maggie and Derek were otherwise occupied. I didn't need any more witnesses to my humiliation that seemed to follow wherever Jax went.
Why did I think we could be friends? He had my head spinning around more than the Exorcist, but maybe it was exactly what I needed to do to clear my head of Jaxson Carter once and for all.
19
Jax
Damn that woman!
I pounded the steering wheel as the words repeated over and over in my head. I knew I should have ignored the phone when Derek called. And worse, I knew I shouldn't have agreed to help when he asked if I was available to help him moved some of Maggie's belongings to their new house. Not because I was such an ass that I wouldn't help someone, especially family, but because I knew Grace would be there.
I thought I was strong enough to handle seeing her. After all, it had been a couple of weeks since I'd seen her. Never one to linger over a breakup, I thought for sure she'd lose her magnetic pull on me. Not that we'd had a relationship to break up. I'd thought it was a sexual attraction that would go away if I sought other relief. But not one name that I thought to call came with any accompanying enthusiasm. Ever since I'd met Grace, my hand had seen more action than it had as a teenager, and all to thoughts of her.
As I pulled away from Derek and Maggie's house, I thought about going into the office and working. I thought about going home and getting drunk. I did neither. Instead, I did what any lost boy would do.
Twenty minutes later, my mother pulled me into one of her hugs. "Well, hi, Son. This is a surprise. What brings you by?"
For such a small thing, she was exceptionally strong, both physically and emotionally. I guessed after all that she'd been through, she'd had plenty of reasons to flex her abilities. Often, I pulled away within seconds, but this time I held on longer, absorbing her warmth and love like the starved child I felt like.
Her hand rested on my cheek, and her eyes darted across my face as if she were taking inventory of my soul through my eyes.
"Come on in, baby. I've got sweet tea and fresh cookies. Or maybe something stronger is in order."
I smiled. It was one of the good memories I had of growing up. We didn't have a lot, but my mom always insisted on having something freshly baked in the house, usually some kind of cookie, depending on what she had available. I think baking was an outlet for her. She didn't have the fancy mixer then that I made sure she had now. Instead, I think she kneaded, folded, and blended by hand as a way of working out her stress. Then she always took time to sit at the table with me along with her freshly made treat and a cup of cold milk and talked to me about whatever I wanted.
She still liked to bake, only now neighbors and a homeless shelter were the recipients, and the milk had been replaced with adult beverages—tea or whiskey—depending on the time of day.
"Talk to me," she commanded after we'd settled at the kitchen table. "What's wrong?"
