AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She looked lost and sad. I pulled her back onto my lap and locked her tight in the circle of my arms. I rocked her a bit, kissing the top of her head. I knew something about blaming myself for things that were beyond my control.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Grace. You saw what he wanted you to see, and who knows, he probably had real feelings for you. I'm not sure how anyone couldn't. That's why you have lines of men wanting to date you."
It was time to go for broke. I pulled back to look her directly. "I know I got out of line, but I'm asking to cut back in. I want you, Grace. I heard what you said about not going into a relationship knowing it would be short term. I know you deserve someone better than me and my past. But for the first time, I want to go into a relationship wide open."
"Are you saying you want me?" Her eyes were shiny, I hoped with happiness.
"Yes, Grace, I am. That was never the question."
"And you're willing to try something different with me?"
"I'm saying I'm all in. I'm not sure I know how to be more for you, but..."
This time it was Grace who held my face in her hands. Her blue eyes bore into mine. "Then let me be more for you. "
In that moment, I saw everything in her eyes: fear, determination, hope, and most of all sincerity.
And just like that, with only a few words, any doubts I had were swept away. Much of my life had been about trying to be what someone else needed: trying to be the son that would make my dad proud, to be the boy who held my family together at any cost, then the young man who tried to bear his burdens and demons alone. The cost had been great, but I'd been willing to pay it. Maybe I'd even felt obligated in some way to do so.
Now there was this beautiful woman, who not only didn't ask anything of me other than to be myself but wanted to give herself to me. Me, the broken man that I am. Not because of my success or money. In fact, I couldn't think of any reason why she'd want me. But she did. And selfish bastard that I was wanted her more than anything I'd ever wanted before.
Something inside me cracked. Maybe it was the layers of assiness she said I have started to crumble. But it didn't matter because Grace filled those cracks, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt whole again.
22
Grace
He fell forward on the couch pinning me beneath him. Each of us continued to hold on to the other as if we were afraid we'd evaporate if we let go, taking our newfound relationship with it.
"God, Grace, you're amazing." He lay still, staring at me. And for once, I was made speechless by the look of wonder I saw reflecting back at me. I smiled and pulled his head to mine. This was unlike me, being bold and moving this fast. But nothing about our relationship had been like me, and truthfully, I liked it. I'd only known him about a month. We'd never even been on a date. Maybe we'd sorted through some of our issues early on. Maybe I just felt freer to be who I wanted with him. Regardless, I knew that being here with him felt right.
I shifted beneath him. The new space allowed his hand to slide under my shirt. His warm fingers slid upward until to the edge of my bra. His thumb glided over the satin material covering the underside of my breast, causing me to suck in a breath at the sensation his touch evoked.
"Is this okay?" he whispered, lifting his head.
Never taking my eyes from his, I lifted my shirt giving my full approval to continue. His eyes dipped to the satin covered skin and watched as I captured his hand and moved it until it fully covered my breast. I closed my eyes when he gave an experimental squeeze. My nipple tightened in response, and I arched closer, seeking more of his touch.
"Jax!" I half whimpered, half groaned.
I jerked slightly and opened my eyes when I felt his tongue skim my naval. Fascinated, I watched as his mouth started at my stomach and kissed its way to my sternum, veering so he could close his mouth around my other breast, nipping my skin through the thin material of my bra. I practically came off the couch. Instinctively, my fingers closed around his head, holding him close.
"You like that, don't you? Do you want more?" he mumbled against my flesh.
"Mmhmm."
He pulled the stretchy material of my bra down, freeing both breasts. Without any thought, I squirmed beneath him until he moved to the other side, teasing the aroused bud with his tongue, gliding it all around the taught skin before engulfing the entire peak in his mouth. I nearly went out of my mind with pleasure.
Gasping, I busied my hands with tugging at his shirt until it was free of his jeans. He paused long enough to pull it over his head, then covered my chest with his own. I reveled in the feel of skin on skin. He rolled to his side and pulled one of my legs so that it rested on his thigh, allowing his pelvis to settle against mine. He bucked gently.
"Oh, holy wow!"
I could feel his hardness straining against his pants as his hand cupped my backside and held me as he rocked against me. My blood rose to feverish heights as desire I'd never experienced surfaced. He continued to skillfully knead and rock me, building up such a need that I'd no choice but to yield to it when it came, quivering with satisfaction and awe. Vaguely, I heard him murmuring my name as his arms came around me, holding me tight, keeping me whole when I felt like I might have otherwise splintered apart.
Oh, holy crap! I didn't know it was possible for that to happen so easily. So quickly. So not naked.
I didn't have a lot of experience with sex, but enough to know it had always taken more effort to get me off if it happened at all. And with a few kisses and caresses with Jax, I was ready to go! Nor had I ever allowed kissing to go that far so fast. I buried my head into his chest, embarrassed beyond words over what had just happened. He'd told me his past relationships were mostly about sex, and I'm sure those women were far more practiced and in control than to let it happen that fast. Or that solo.
"Hey." He pulled my bra back into place and tugged my shirt down. I felt his fingers try to lift my chin, but I was too mortified to look at him. "Grace, look at me."
