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I was trying not to imagine that picture, but I sensed Everett Hart was a passionate man, so why wouldn't those passions run carnally? He was a man after all—a big, scary man wielding a bible, sure, but still a man. He had four daughters. He had to know something about the pleasures of the flesh!
"So, I have to truly care about a man and believe he cares about me before I'll sleep with him. It's a commitment." I started to speak, but she shook her head and tried to pull her hand back. I held tight. She drew a breath and continued, staring at our joined hands. "And I know my family is a lot to take on. You've seen the worse of my sisters already. And Daddy, well..."
Hadn't I already proven they weren't an issue for me? "Grace, where is this coming from?"
She pulled on her hand again, and this time I let it go. "I believe relationships have always been casual for you. I know you’re truly committed to trying us—” she used her fingers to make quotation marks—"but this is taking it to another level, at least for me. I'm scared at some point you'll be able to walk away and not look back, and I'll be left holding all the pieces of the broken relationship." Her voice was a little shaky, but she didn't back down.
"Because you think this—us—means more to you than it does to me."
Her bleak expression told me my assessment was right. I was rocked by her confession, and not just a little freaked out by how well it matched my feelings for all the women who'd come before her. And despite my desire to have something more with Grace, I couldn't lie to myself. I wasn't just a little afraid that's exactly what would happen. Not because I was bored with her; she was the first woman I found exciting and wanted to spend time with, even without sex. But I was afraid I'd hurt her unintentionally because of my own issues.
"I guess this is a conversation we should have had before now, huh?"
She nodded. "I was afraid to. I know it sounds naive and childish and girlishly emotional. I thought I could handle this, no matter what happens. I didn't mean to bring it up. It's okay if you want to turn around and go home. I'd understand, and better now than after. Especially if we, well...I know other women can handle this kind of thing much better than me. I was trying to be like them."
She sounded miserable, and I hated that the fun we'd started out with had suddenly been sucked dry.
I used my fingers to lift her chin from where it had dropped down to her chest. Her eyes, when they finally looked into mine, were full of misery and doubt.
"I don't want you to be like them. And I don’t want to turn back. That's what's different about you, Grace. I want to move forward with you.” I gripped her hand tighter. “You're not the only one taking a risk here. It could easily be you that ends up not wanting me. I know I'm a challenge, probably too much of one.
“But I promise you this. Your dad isn't going to scare me away. Your sisters aren't going to scare me away. If that were the case, I think it's safe to say I wouldn't be here right now. I tried before to move on without you already, and I think we both know I wasn't successful at it or we wouldn't even be having this conversation, here in this car, halfway to a cabin to be alone together so we can get to know each oth
er better. Intimately." My thumb swiped across her cheek to catch the tear that had fallen while I spoke. "So, what do you say? Should we keep going? Because I know I’d like to.”
She held my eyes for several seconds. I could feel when she made up her mind; her entire body relaxed and her eyes gained back their strength and determination that I was used to seeing in her.
She leaned into my hand and reached up to entwine her fingers with mine. "Yes, let's keep going. All the way." Her smile was tremulous, but this time I was certain it was from good emotions, not fear. Still, it invited a kiss that was warmly received.
The rest of the trip was still quiet, but the tension was relaxed. Call me an ass that after that little emotional outlet we both shared, but my cock was still hoping her “all the way” comment was a metaphor for sex and not just the remaining road trip. He wouldn't be as happy with my hand once again, but I could control him if I needed to.
What I couldn't control was the beating of my heart. It was thumping loud and strong; a reminder that it was getting the much-needed exercise that my mom had told me about.
It was feeling stronger with each Grace-infused beat.
26
Grace
"Wow, how did you find out about this place?"
My mouth had dropped open as Jax easily navigated his car along a driveway that curved around a colorful English-style garden. When he stopped, I stepped out of the car slowly, trying to take in all the beauty that surrounded me. When Jax had mentioned a cabin, I envisioned a rustic log cabin set in a small clearing in the woods. Not this gray stone, beautifully landscaped home that had emerged as we pulled up a secluded gravel driveway.
A blue butterfly fluttered past me to land on a red flower, while the air buzzed with the hummingbirds that darted from one feeder to another hanging between the columns of the large front porch. Wooden rocking chairs teased of potential lazy moments as they swayed in the breeze.
Jax paused beside me, also taking it in. "My friend Noah told me about it. He lives a few miles down the highway. I saw pictures online, but it's better in person." He smiled. "Let's go see the inside, shall we? I think you'll like it just as much."
His hand settled at the small of my back to urge me forward. He punched a code into a numbered panel on the door triggering a whir as the locks shifted. He opened the door, and we stepped into an enormous living room with a stone fireplace and furniture that looked like the kind one could sink into and find themselves unwittingly taking a nap. To the left was a kitchen equipped with granite counters and modern appliances. But what drew our eyes the most was the wall in front of us made almost entirely of windows.
"Wow!" Jax grabbed my hand and pulled me to the sliding doors, which when opened, led to a deck that overlooked the valley below. Mountain laurel and a variety of hardwoods and pines sprouted up from the mountainside that was just yards away.
"It's stunning! I'm not sure you'll be able to get me to leave," I said.
"You won't miss all the shopping and restaurants back in town?"
"Please. I don't do much of that now. But to watch the sun rise and set over these mountains? See the changing colors of the seasons? Now, that's a show I could watch every day." I felt Jax's eyes on me as I answered.
He squeezed my hand. "Let's go see what else is here."
