AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I swung back around and leveled my eyes at him. "Don't stand there and pretend to be nice, Mr. Andrews. I saw how you looked at me the day you picked me up, and I hear the dislike in your tone each time you act as if you know my kind. I know you think I've done something so horrible I should spend the rest of my life paying for it. But let me tell you something, Mr. High and Mighty, I might not be behind locked doors and bars every day, but I'll pay for it the rest of my life because of people like you." I paused and took a deep breath, cutting him off when he opened his mouth. "Believe me when I say there are far worse people out there than me. Trust me; I've met them."
Ouch. I couldn't believe I'd spoken to him like that, but I couldn't back down now. I couldn't show weakness.
Holt stood stiffly before me with his hands in his pockets, and I could see his fists flexing through the material. "I hope the view looks good from up there," he drawled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.
"From your high horse. For somebody who accuses me of making assumptions, you certainly seem to do your share."
My jaw dropped as he spun on his heel and headed out of the room. Just before he disappeared around the doorway, he paused and glanced back at me. "Look in the mirror, Ms. Stone, and decide who's looking back at you before you complain about how other people see you."
His words were quietly delivered, but their echo would reverberate loudly in my head for days.
7
Maddy
I spat out my mouthful of toothpaste and used my hand to slurp up more rinse water. Feeling fresher, I checked on my reflection in the mirror.
'Look in the mirror and decide who's looking back at you.'
Damn him! No matter how hard I tried to forget my latest confrontation with Holten Andrews, his words kept coming back to me. What did he know about me? Yes, life had dealt me a shitty hand, but I always picked myself up and kept moving forward. Was he suggesting I only saw myself as a victim? That I always assumed others saw me as worthless?
Well, aren't you?
My inner psyche, that meddlesome nuisance, apparently agreed with him. I wanted to tell her to back off along with him, but she stood her ground and made me take a stronger look in the mirror. I looked older than any twenty-four-year-old should. Wariness clouded my eyes, my mouth was more frown than smile, and while my clothes were better than jailbird orange, they weren't overly flattering. Nondescript style and boring beige and white colors, the kind that screamed 'don't notice me.' I kept my hair pulled back in a tight braid and didn't wear any makeup.
Holt was right. I never gave people a chance to make their mind up about me; I filled in the blanks for them as if I had a scarlet 'F' for felon emblazoned on my chest.
I used to be gentle and kind, only bent on proving that I wasn't like my father or sister. I believed in myself and a better future. Six years mixing with more than a few delinquent inmates, some questionable prison guards, and a few harrowing experiences, and I'd become colored by sarcasm, distrust, and rudeness.
So, whatcha gonna do about it?
I shoved out my lower lip and blew out my breath, which in turn moved a couple of the stray hairs on my forehead. Impulsively, I reached behind my head and pulled out the rubber band and shook out my braid. Long dark auburn hair fell below my shoulders in awkward curls from being twisted all day. I finger-combed it to bring it into some semblance of order. It helped to soften my features. It was better, but maybe I better get to number five on my list sooner than later. I practiced smiling in the mirror and glimpsed the girl I'd once been. A little older, a lot wiser, but still hopeful. Perhaps my old self wasn't as far buried as I thought. I wondered if I had time to stop at the drugstore down the street and get some lip gloss to dress up my new smile.
Satisfied with my plan, I hurried out of the office building and walked the four blocks to where the tutoring program was based. There was a definite chill in the evening air, but my fast pace quickly warmed me up.
The office was quiet as I entered. I didn't see anyone except a woman pecking away at a keyboard. She looked with a warm smile up at my arrival.
"Hello. Are you Madelyn?"
I nodded. Bangle bracelets clanked and giant hoop earrings swung as she stood to greet me. Her black hair was cut close to her scalp and would have looked almost masculine except for her highlighted cheekbones and beautifully outlined eyes that stood out against her smooth cocoa skin. Once again, I found myself feeling plain and inferior next to her simple beauty. Her smile, however, put me at ease.
"Hi. I'm Mary. Thank you for coming down so we can chat before we go any further with your application."
I accepted her handshake. "I'm pleased to be here. And I truly appreciate this opportunity."
Mary led me to a couch in the same room. "I'm sorry for the informality, but this isn't a formal interview. I'd just like to better understand your circumstances and what led you to us."
I explained how I was part of a new program at the law firm, the jobs I was responsible for, and the reason I was in the library where I came across the ad. Mary didn't take any notes, just listened patiently.
"That's very commendable," she said. "It sounds like you're trying to make a new life for yourself."
I nodded. "I am. I know it's going to take some time and many doors are now closed to me, but I'm hoping there will be some that will eventually open."
"So the big question, Madelyn, is why were you in prison? I promise, I’m not here to judge. That part of your life is over. But I do have children and a reputation here to protect.”
I'd been prepared for the question, but I still struggled to push the words past my lips. "I killed a man." The words made the butterflies in my stomach turn into winged beasts, and I hoped I didn’t get sick.
