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ugh he didn't join me, Holt always offered to pour me a glass along with his. For whatever reason - the desire to try something new, an effort to become more sophisticated, or an attempt to draw his attention - I'd accepted his offer and quickly acquired a liking for it.
He poured the wine while I served the meal. Dinner was long finished, and we still chatted about a few things going on at the law firm and some other idle chitchat.
His eyes closed while he chewed. "Oh, I definitely got the better end of this deal. You're a fabulous cook, Maddy. My only problem is how much weight I'm going to gain."
Looking at how trim and toned he was, I doubted it. I quickly looked away before he caught me. I shrugged. "I like to cook. My grandmother's recipes are coming back to me the more time I spend in the kitchen."
He put his fork down. "This is nice."
I raised an eyebrow in question.
"Sharing the meal."
"Then why do I feel like you've been avoiding me this week? I know you're used to having your space. You don't need to babysit me, you know. If you need me to leave--"
"No!" His voice was loud and sharp. He blew out a breath. "I mean, no, I don't want you to leave."
"Then what is it, Holt? I'm so confused. You say you want to be friends, you say you care about me, and then you push me away. So what is it?” I looked into his tortured face. “Whatever it is, I can take it."
He breathed hard, then stood up from his chair so fast it tipped over backward. He took two steps toward me and grabbed me by the forearms, yanking me from my chair so hard I slammed into him. I automatically reached out and grabbed onto him.
He latched on to my hips and pulled them tight against him, making me very aware of his arousal against my belly. "Can you handle this, Madelyn? Can you handle that I want you more than I've ever wanted anybody?" Glittering brown eyes stared down at me. "I've tried not to. God knows I've tried. I'm not supposed to, but I do."
He pushed me away and turned his back, running a hand through his hair leaving it to stick up in a messy, uncontrolled way. It fit his mood. He blew out a breath and braced his arms against the wall. I could see his muscles flexing where his sleeves were rolled up above his elbows.
Maybe it was the wine; I didn't know. Anyone with half a brain knows not to bait a raging bull. But apparently, I was only book smart because I tore into him. "Why, Holt? Why shouldn't you want me? Because I'm not like Claire? Because I'm a felon? Say it, Holt," I demanded, taking a step closer. "Say I'm not good enough for you. You think I don't already know that? Because--"
My words ground to a halt when he whirled to face me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and spun me until I was against the wall. His face swooped toward mine, only to stop mere inches from mine. His breathing was ragged as if he was fighting for control. I didn't think I was breathing at all, holding my breath to see what he was going to do.
To see if he would do what I wanted him to do.
"You're too good, Maddy, that's the problem," he rasped. "You deserve more than me, but fuck if I can stop. I have to know."
"Know what?" My words fell between us on a breath of air. I couldn't move, hypnotized by the glow in his eyes.
"What your lips taste like."
I couldn't process his words, so fast was his mouth on mine. One hand clasped the back of my neck while the other tangled in my hair along the side of my face. His thumb skimmed back and forth across my cheekbone while his lips moved along mine. They started off hard and angry before changing to soft and entreating. Over and over they alternately rubbed across my top and lower lips.
"So sweet," he whispered against them.
There was no thought of protest as I stood still, basking in being the recipient of my first kiss, but he'd mentioned tasting, and suddenly I wanted the same privilege. I had no experience to fall back on except good ole' feminine instinct, so I turned myself over to her. I copied his movements. Wanting to feel more than just his lips, I slid my hands over his chest and into his hair where I threaded my fingers into the thick waves.
"Maddy," he groaned. Worried I'd done something wrong or that he didn't like it I started to pull away, but he quickly embraced me tighter and held my head firmer, and suddenly it felt like he was taking small nips, actually tugging at my lower lip with his teeth. The sensation of a thousand butterflies releasing in my abdomen caused me to gasp, and that's when I felt him actually taste me. His tongue slowly licked the seam of my lips before gradually slipping past them. When I felt his tongue stroke mine, my own groan escaped, and I tentatively touched his in return.
Holt was not only tasting me, he was consuming me, and I was lost in the pleasure of it. Something like a growl vibrated from his throat as our tongues twisted and dueled. His hands slid down and clasped me under my ass and lifted me until I could fit his hardness between my thighs in exactly the right place. I clung to him with my legs, grinding against him while seeking to relieve the aching pressure that was building deep within me. His hips pinned me in place against the wall and rocked against me, strengthening a need that I longed to have fulfilled, yet terrifying me with the powerlessness I felt. I could no more control my desire than I could hold back the tide.
Warmth turned to heat between my legs. I wrenched my mouth away from Holt's and threw back my head, crying out as I splintered into a thousand pieces, exhilarated and terrified that I'd never come back together as the same person I'd been moments before.
Something resembling a whimper escaped my mouth as tiny tremors still wracked my body. Holt trailed gentle kisses from my mouth to my neck where he buried his face. I felt his ragged breathing while his hands clenched my backside and held me still against him. My head dropped to his shoulder, feeling like a pile of jelly, and not a little embarrassed at what had just happened, but not a bit sorry for it either. I couldn’t believe he’d been able to give me my first orgasm with only a kiss and our clothes still on.
"Maddy," he whispered, still not lifting his head. "I didn't mean...I'm sor--"
I lifted my head. "Don't," I whispered. I didn't need to hear his excuses or regrets.
He raised his head and gazed warily at me.
Heat scorched my cheeks, both from embarrassment and passion. "Please don't cheapen what just happened with an apology." My voice still sounded a little breathless, but I was able to inflect the firmness I wanted. I unwrapped my legs from his waist and my hands from his neck. They were trembling, so powerful had he made me come.
