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He loosened his grasp, allowing me to stand on my own two feet, and I took the necessary steps to move away from him.
“We should talk,” he said hoarsely.
"I…" My voice sounded squeaky. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I'm really tired. I’d rather just go to bed. If you don't mind, I'll clean this up in the morning," I said quietly.
He reached a hand out and opened his mouth as if to speak, but sighed and closed it, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked as confused and upset as I felt. "Maddy…I…” He shook his head and stared at the floor. “Good night, Maddy."
Oddly relieved and disappointed at the same time that he didn't argue for me to stay, I turned and walked out, pausing briefly to look over my shoulder. I held onto the molding framing the entranceway as I took in how defeated he appeared. He hadn't moved at all, except to close his eyes and let his head bow and shoulders droop.
Hoping a shower would help cool off my still pulsing bloodstream, I stripped off my clothes. Peeling off my panties that were drenched from the release he’d given me, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was tousled, and my skin was flushed from head to toe. I skimmed my hands down my chest, across my breasts. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Holt. He said he wanted to taste my lips, but now I wished he’d tasted the rest of me as well. My fingers continued their journey, grazing over my warm core, still wet and sensitive.
Holt’s touch sparked incredible new feelings, like nothing I’d ever known existed. But then he apologized, spoiling what I thought had been a shared special moment. I didn’t want to hear him say he was sorry; didn’t want him to be sorry it happened. So I’d snuck out, trying to save both of our pride. So why did he look so miserable instead of relieved? And I wasn’t any happier here by myself.
Back in my bedroom, I went about my bedtime routine as if on autopilot. I turned out the light and lay there, uncertain of where we were to go from here. I heard his footsteps in the hall pause outside my room. I held my breath, not even sure what I wanted, but after a minute, they continued down the hall where I heard his door click shut.
I rolled over and clutched the pillow to me. Holt thought I needed him to protect me, but who was going to protect my heart from him?
25
Holt
The car ride to my parent's house was quiet. I'd started off making idle chitchat, but Maddy's softly spoken, mostly one-word answers as she stared out the window soon had me as quiet as her. The silence did nothing to distract me from thinking about the kiss we’d shared last night.
I knew it was a bad idea to kiss her. I had naively believed I could limit the contact to just a sample. But her response was so honest, her taste so sweet, I was all too soon lost in her touch. My dick grew rock hard within seconds, so when she began to rock her hips against me, it felt only natural to align her softness where I needed it most. Well almost. I’d wanted to remove the barrier of clothes, but thank God some semblance of rationale stuck around. Then, watching her come apart in my arms had been a beautiful and satisfying experience in its own way. It was seared permanently in my mind’s eye…and my dick’s. Just sitting next to her and smell
ing her sweet scent was enough to make him stir and remind me that last night’s and this morning’s episodes in the shower weren’t enough to satisfy him. Greedy bastard.
I hated the awkwardness that now existed between us. It was my fault - succumbing to a desire I had no right to. But having tasted her, feeling her innocent but uninhibited response, so natural and uncontrived, I only wanted more. She'd said she'd never had a boyfriend, so I was pretty sure that meant she was completely inexperienced in all sexual matters. And instead of a turnoff, it was a complete turn on. I wanted to be the one to teach her, experience all of her firsts.
The problem was, I wasn't sure I could give her every part of me, at least not yet, and she deserved nothing less. So selfishly, I needed some space even while I wasn’t willing to grant her the same reprieve. I knew it wasn't fair, but I wanted her near me.
I wasn't sure how long I could take today’s silence, but I was grateful I'd been able to talk her into accepting my mom's early morning invitation to come back and spend the day with my family. It couldn't have come at a better time; somehow I needed to make things right between us again, and allowing for more space and distance between us wasn't going to work in my favor. I could tell she was about to decline until I mentioned helping my niece and nephews carve Halloween pumpkins.
As if she couldn't help herself, her eyes lit with interest. Knowing what I did about her childhood, I suspected she'd never done many of the typical childhood rites of passage, like going all out for Halloween. So, like the lawyer I was, I pressed my argument harder. "Mom will be busy baking so Carol could probably use an extra hand, and you know the kids adore you. Please say 'yes,' Maddy. You know you want to," I wheedled.
I wasn't above begging at this point. A part of me felt guilty, but I desperately needed a little time to sort the feelings I was having while making sure she didn’t run the minute I turned my back.
"Okay," she'd said. "It sounds like fun if you're sure you don't mind."
Within an hour after our arrival, my mom's kitchen was full of the aroma of cinnamon and cloves as well as the sounds of childish giggles and feminine laughter. I peeked in and saw my mom spooning her pumpkin mixture into pie shells while the kids and Carol hovered around the kitchen table scooping out pumpkin seeds. Carol shifted sideways a bit, and I saw Maddy helping four-year-old Andrew. He flicked a seed off his hand and burst into laughter when it landed on Maddy's face. She gave him a playful scowl as she wiped it away, then scooped up a handful of the yellow goop and pretended like she was going to rub it on his face. Andrew shrieked and ducked, and Maddy burst into laughter, dropping the stringy seeds back on the table.
My breath hitched in my throat. She looked happy, and happy on Madelyn Stone was beautiful.
I was about to duck out unnoticed, but she chose to look up at that moment. Her smile slipped, but I quickly offered her one of my own. As if drawn by an invisible thread, I took the necessary steps to stand alongside her and reached into her hair. She watched my movements as if mesmerized.
"You had another seed in your hair," I said quietly. I dropped my hand, but I couldn't stop staring at her lips, remembering how sweet they tasted and desperately wanted another taste. I'm not sure how long we stared at each other before Carol cleared her throat, grinning mischievously as her eyes flicked to the kids. Startled, I pulled back realizing I had leaned forward to do exactly what was in my head.
Maddy flushed and laughed nervously. "Thank you."
I grinned. "I'm glad you're having fun." Whispering in her ear, I asked, "Can I talk to you a minute?" It wasn't fair of me, but I knew she wouldn't make a scene in front of my family, so I seized the moment.
"Oh, I, um..." She looked between the kids and Carol and my mom, who were both looking at us with knowing expressions. "Um, sure."
She washed her hands off at the kitchen sink, and while she was drying her hands, my mom whispered something to her. Maddy's eyes darted at me and the color on her face heightened, but she merely nodded and replaced the towel on its hook.
I gestured for her to proceed me into the living room and was about to guide her to the back deck, when Buddy barked at the door and in walked Cal carrying Cara. "We’re here,” he hollered. “Sorry we're late. What’s to eat?" When he looked up, I saw surprise flash across his face as he recognized Maddy, then he broke out into a smile.
"Madelyn. Great to see you again. I see your powers are still at work." His wink was accompanied by a not-so-subtle jerk of his head in my direction. "Lucky you, little bro."
