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He said, “It’s totally ingrained in me. Remember how hard we laughed the first time we saw that movie?”
“I thought you were going to pee yourself. Then you announced you wanted to become a pet detective like Ace Ventura, so I found you a Hawaiian shirt like his at a garage sale.”
“I loved that shirt. I wonder whatever happened to it. The thing was giant on me, but I bet it’d fit perfectly now.”
I grinned and told him, “You were such a dork.”
“We both were. Remember when you decided you really wanted glasses? You found an old pair of Dad’s and popped the lenses out, and then you wore them everywhere for months.”
“I thought they made me look intelligent.”
“They did, right up until someone noticed they were just empty frames.” We both laughed at that. After a pause, Dallas glanced at me and said, “I’ve missed you, Phoenix.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“Really?”
“You were always my best friend, Dal. The biggest regret of my life is the way we drifted apart.”
“Mine, too.”
I should have kept my mouth shut, but I just had to set the record straight. “It’s not because I was jealous of your success. I just want to put that out there.”
“I mean…you were a little jealous.”
Even though I instantly bristled at that, I made myself take a breath. After a few moments, I conceded, “Maybe a little.”
“We both started lashing out at each other,” he said. “I’m guilty of it, too.”
I studied his profile and asked, “Why were you lashing out at me?”
“Because I needed you, more than anyone on this planet, and you left me.”
“I did?”
He nodded and pushed his hair from his eyes as we rolled up to a stoplight. “I was so fucking overwhelmed after I signed my first record deal at nineteen. I thought we’d travel that path together, but all of a sudden you were looking at me like I’d betrayed you. I had to take that deal, Phoenix. You know that, right? Mom and Dad were drowning in debt and months behind on their rent. If I didn’t sign that contract and bail them out, all four of us might have ended up homeless.”
I muttered, “I know.”
“Then I gave you a job as my assistant, because you wouldn’t just let me give you money. You told me you didn’t want a handout, so I hired you because it was the only way I could take care of you and make sure you had enough to get by. You probably thought I was patronizing you, but I really needed your help,” he said. “It was all too much for me, and the only time I felt like I wasn’t drowning was when you were helping me. But after a while, you moved clear across the country, and I barely heard from you. I figured it was because you wanted to make a fresh start with your music career, but then you started doing the same job. Just not for me.”
“It’s not like I wanted to keep working as an assistant,” I said, as the light changed and he rolled through the intersection. “I just haven’t been able to get my career off the ground.”
“I own a recording studio, Phoenix. It would have been so easy to let me produce an album for you, but every time I offered, you acted like I was insulting you.”
“I don’t want your help.”
“Why not?”
“I want to make it on my own, not because my famous twin took pity on me,” I muttered.
“Why do you assume it’s pity?”
“What else would it be?”
“I wanted to produce your album because you’re a fucking brilliant singer and songwriter,” he said. “I also wanted to do that for you because you deserve it. You’ve been busting your ass for years, and if you’d just let me give you a little push—”
“Let’s not talk about this now,” I said, as we pulled up in front of a trendy, high-end hotel. We climbed out of the car, and while I tried to fix my wind-blown hair, my brother spoke to the valet and slipped him some cash.
As we stepped into the gaudy gold-and-white lobby, Dallas said, “If you don’t want to talk about how epically stubborn you are, let’s talk about what had you so upset when I found you wandering down the street.”
“I was taking a walk, not wandering down the street.”
“Okay, but something was definitely bothering you.”
“I just ended a…well, not a relationship.” I thought about that, then continued, “Basically, I’d started dating a great guy, but it wasn’t going to work out, so I broke it off before I got too attached.”
“You were obviously already attached. It was written all over your face.”
“Yeah, I was. I am. But he was never going to be on the same page, so I had to cut my losses.”
