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I sighed and pushed the hair from my eyes. I already missed him like crazy, and I hated the way we’d left things. There was so much I should have said, but both of us had tried to make it seem like this move was no big deal. He told me it wasn’t a goodbye, and he’d kept his emotions in check, so I did the same. That had been a mistake.
In fact, that’s what all of this was—one huge mistake. What the hell was I doing? I belonged with Harper, not in Nashville.
I’d spent years telling myself I needed to get a record contract and be a success, but at what cost? I’d felt a sense of obligation (to my parents? Or maybe to myself?) to do whatever I had to in order to launch my career, and I’d let that overshadow everything else.
Maybe I’d also made the decision to move cross-country because I hadn’t fully admitted, to either Harper or myself, just what he meant to me. That was a mistake, too. He needed to know exactly how I felt about him, even if that meant making myself totally vulnerable and laying it all on the line.
I had to get off this plane. I needed to go find Harper, and I needed to tell him he was what really mattered, more than anything else.
Just as I unfastened my seatbelt and started to stand up, the plane began to move. I dropped into my seat and swore under my breath as we rolled toward the runway.
Fortunately, I hadn’t been able to book a direct flight to Nashville. After two and a half hours we landed in Denver, and I went straight to the ticket counter and booked the next available flight back to Los Angeles. There was no way to retrieve my luggage since it had been ticketed through to Tennessee, but the woman behind the counter assured me it’d be sent back to L.A. Right now, that was the least of my concerns.
I had to wait a few hours for my return flight, so I used some of that time to call Blake Brooks. I thanked him for his offer, then told him I had to turn it down. When he asked why, I said, “Because I’d be leaving my heart in L.A., and I actually really need that to make music.” It was ridiculous and sappy, but it was also true, and he seemed to understand.
Several hours later, I finally landed back in L.A. and ordered a Lyft as I rushed through the airport. I really wanted to catch Harper before he left for the premiere, because I felt like what I had to say to him couldn’t wait. I’d gathered my courage and psyched myself up, and now was the time.
My Lyft driver was a middle-aged woman named Audrey, with long purple hair, a ‘Love is Love’ T-shirt, and a Pride flag hanging from the rearview mirror of her white minivan. All of that made me so happy that I wanted to kiss her.
She glanced at me in the rearview mirror, and as she merged into the traffic leaving the airport, she told me, “I love your music.”
“You’re thinking of my twin brother,” I said automatically.
“No, I know you’re not Dallas Jaymes. I love the videos you posted with your boyfriend Harper. He’s such a hottie, and you two are adorable together.”
I grinned and said, “Yes, he is. It’s his birthday today, and I’m trying to catch him before he leaves for a movie premiere. There’s something important I need to tell him.”
“Well, let’s hurry up and get you there.” She switched lanes and stepped on the accelerator, while I fumbled for my seatbelt.
I thanked her when we pulled up in front of Harper’s house, and she smiled at me and wished me luck. I knocked when I reached the door, because I wasn’t sure if I should just barge in. When Kel answered, he grabbed me in a hug and exclaimed, “Phoenix! You’re back!”
“I am. Is Harper here? There’s something I need to say to him.”
“No, sorry, you just missed him. He took a limo to the premiere.”
I turned around and waved my arms at my Lyft driver, who was still parked at the curb. When she rolled her window down, I called, “Can you drive me to Westwood? Harper already left.” She told me that was no problem, and I said, “Great! Give me five minutes, because I need to change.”
I’d brought my tuxedo to the house earlier in the week, before Nashville came up, and then I’d left it in Harper’s closet. I rushed upstairs and put it on, then ran back down to the living room while working on my bowtie. Kel said, “Let me help you,” and while he concentrated on tying a perfect bow, Loco darted into the room and stared at us. Someone had dressed her in a tiny rainbow tutu, which made me happy.
