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Tristan nodded and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me against his chest and I felt his lips skim my temple. “Just sleep, Brennan. We’ll deal with this tomorrow.”
I knew I was probably holding on to him too tightly, but I was terrified that if I didn’t, I’d wake up alone. And I was so god damn tired of being alone.
“Say it again, Tristan. Please.”
“I love you, Brennan. Always have, always will.”
The sliver of relief wasn’t enough to ease the rampant fear running through me. “You believe me, right? That I’ll figure out how to make this work?”
“I believe you,” Tristan whispered and then I felt him drop a kiss on my head. “Just sleep, my love.”
I swallowed back the tears that threatened to fall at Tristan’s endearment. And then I did as he said, because I knew the only place I would never have to choose between the two men who’d become my entire world was in my dreams.
Chapter Seventeen
Tristan
It took me almost twenty minutes to work myself free of Brennan’s hold without waking him. Guilt tore through me at knowing how upset he was going to be when he woke up and found I was gone, but as much as I loved Brennan, I wasn’t strong enough to stand by and watch him be with someone else and still keep my sanity. And that didn’t even factor in the growing feelings I had for the man who’d helped make my body come alive.
I hadn’t been at all prepared for anything that had happened after Brennan had kissed me in my dads’ apartment. Not the physical part, not the emotions that came with being taken care of. I hadn’t missed the fact that neither Memphis nor Brennan had seen to their own pleasure, even after they’d helped me take mine.
It should have felt more taboo – being with two men at the same time. But it had felt like the most natural thing in the world. And when Memphis had given me permission to not worry about the risk my body posed to either man, I’d finally felt freer than I had in years…free in a way that music had only ever done for me before.
But none of that changed the fact that I was the one intruding on the burgeoning relationship between Memphis and Brennan. I’d missed my chance with Brennan because I’d been too much of a coward to tell him the truth about how I felt. I wasn’t going to punish Memphis by trying to take something he so clearly needed.
I saw it every time he looked at Brennan. He might not have told my friend how much he cared, but it was there in his eyes. I only hoped he wasn’t foolish enough to do what I had done and realize the truth only after it was way too late to do anything about it.
It took me only seconds to slip my shoes on and I carefully turned out the light next to the bed, ignoring the skittering sensation on my skin. I grabbed the decorative throw that was draped across the foot of the bed and quietly made my way to the living room. I’d waited several hours until I’d seen the lights in the living room go out so my hope was that Memphis had finally gone to sleep. It was almost two in the morning so it seemed likely. Part of me had kept watching the bedroom door in the hopes that Memphis might come through it and maybe even join me and Brennan in bed, but he hadn’t. And Brennan hadn’t once stirred, nor had he rolled off my chest and stomach like I’d waited for him to do. It was like even in sleep, he was keeping his vow not to let me go.
There was enough moonlight filtering in through the windows for me to make out Memphis on the couch. He was lying on his side with his hands tucked under his head since he didn’t have a pillow. I fought back the building panic as my mind began playing tricks on me. I reminded myself over and over again that I was in a very fancy hotel and that the scratching sounds from inside the walls weren’t real. That I wouldn’t feel any furry bodies around my feet any second now.
I hurried around the couch and carefully draped the throw over Memphis. I saw Memphis’s phone light up and begin vibrating and I glanced at the notification to see that it was just a new email. My eyes fell on the lock screen. It was a picture of a young woman holding a small white cat.
Janie.
Memphis’s sister.
I took the phone and carefully placed it on the table so it wouldn’t wake him, but the second I turned away from the couch to leave, a hand curled around my wrist. I stifled my cry of fear as my eyes connected with Memphis’s and even though I couldn’t really see his face, I had no doubt what he was thinking.
