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“Just let it out, Ethan,” Cain whispered and I swore I felt his lips against the spot where my neck met my shoulder. “I’ve got you.”
I shook my head because I couldn’t let myself believe that.
That he had me.
His hold on me was strong, but gentle. Every part of my body hurt, but the pain was secondary to how warm I felt. From the water, from him. Both of his arms were wrapped around me, one at my waist, the other across my chest. I was still clinging to the handrail, but as the terror that had plagued me since the moment my eyes had met Eric’s again the day before – no, since the moment I’d realized what a terrible mistake I’d made when I’d let the man into my life four years earlier – began to fade away, I lifted one of my hands to cover the one Cain had pressed right over my heart. I held it there for a moment, knowing I needed to move it, but not wanting to. The pulses of warmth that began to fire through my body, all centered from that one spot where our hands were touching, gave me renewed energy, enough to let my breathing even out and for the sobs to fade away unnoticed.
Several long seconds passed before I heard Cain say, “Open your hand.”
I did as he said. The hand he had around my waist disappeared and I immediately felt the loss, but I understood the purpose a moment later when he squeezed some body wash into my hand. I used my hand to reach all the places I could, focusing on my lower body where I’d vomited on myself. I was careful not to touch my dick since I didn’t want to risk getting even a hint of a hard-on, even though I doubted my body was capable of sexually responding to the close proximity of Cain’s.
Once I was finished, Cain handed me the small bottle of body wash. “Put some in my hand,” he murmured. My insides tightened at that, but not only because I was nervous about what I knew was coming. The bottle was pretty full so fortunately it didn’t take much energy to squeeze some of the gel into his palm. I didn’t miss the fact that his hand was so much bigger than mine.
Like Eric’s.
An unwanted shiver washed over me. But it dimmed when I felt Cain put some space between us without releasing his hold on me completely. I held on to the rail to keep myself upright as his hand washed parts of my back. His touch was gentle, but impersonal, which I was both glad for and a little disappointed by.
I tensed when Cain’s hand skimmed my lower back, but when he brushed the top of my ass, my body locked up tight and I couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped from my throat.
“I won’t hurt you, Ethan,” he said as he stopped his movement. “You had some blood on you that I couldn’t reach yesterday with the hand towel.”
I wanted to die as I realized what he meant.
I managed a nod, but nothing more.
He made quick work of cleaning my crack and the backs of my thighs. I suspected under normal circumstances, his touch would have turned me on. But all it did was bring back the tears I’d manage to stifle earlier. At least I had the water from the shower to mask them.
He was done within a minute and then he was turning us so the water could wash away the soap on my back. He turned off the water a moment later and then he was easing me out of the shower. I noticed his shoes on the floor and realized that taking them off must have been what he’d been doing earlier right before he’d gotten into the shower with me.
A towel was wrapped around my body as Cain sat me back down on the closed toilet. I was glad to have something to cover up with. He used a second towel to dry off the exposed parts of me. He never looked at me while he worked, which I was supremely grateful for.
“Do you need to use the bathroom?” he asked as he tossed the towel aside.
I shook my head. “But…my teeth. Can I brush them?”
Cain nodded and then began searching the cabinets. He found a new toothbrush and worked it free of its packaging. He put some toothpaste on it and then handed it to me. As I brushed away the lingering taste of puke, he cleaned out a plastic cup that had been holding the cabin-owner’s toothbrushes and then filled it with water. He handed it to me so I could rinse and luckily the sink was close enough that I didn’t need to stand to spit out the water.
