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I knew from the inflection of his voice what he meant. How well the meal was or wasn’t cooked had absolutely nothing to do with the outcome.
“He just needed an excuse,” I murmured.
Cain nodded. “She did too. Because after he was done with her, she’d look at me and even while I was still cleaning the blood off her face, she’d say, ‘It’ll be better now.’ The next day she’d have this look of peace on her face…like everything in her world was right again.”
“You think I’m like her,” I said, my insides falling at the comparison.
I flinched when Cain grabbed my chin gently in his hand to force me to look at him. “No, I don’t. She wouldn’t have even looked at the chips twice to wonder why she didn’t want them. And she sure as shit wouldn’t have the guts to do what you did for Lucy…for yourself. Eat the chips or don’t eat them, Ethan. Just make sure your decision is for you and not him.”
He released me and then opened his own bag of chips.
His admission both bothered me and explained a lot. I suspected there was quite a bit he hadn’t told me, but I was shocked he’d said as much as he had. But his words were hard to hear because I didn’t like knowing he had so much insight into things. It would be that much harder to hide the truth.
From him.
From myself.
I reached for the bag of chips and gingerly opened them. The first one tasted so good I wanted to cry. I waited for my stomach to reject the food in some kind of silent tribute to the past, but when nothing happened, I ate another.
And another.
I ate the whole bag within a couple of minutes and when Cain silently handed me another, I took that one and tore into it, eating the entire thing before settling back in the seat and watching the clouds give way to land.
And only one thing came to mind when the landing gear hit the runway a few minutes later.
Fuck you, Eric. I’m going home.
* * *
One look at my brother and I knew he hadn’t kept his promise. But it was hard to care when he wrapped his big arms around me and held onto me like nothing else in the world mattered.
“Don’t ever scare the fucking shit out of me like that ever again, do you hear me?” he growled in my ear as he held onto me.
I nodded. “Sorry,” I croaked as tears filled my eyes.
Devon didn’t seem to care that we were standing in the middle of the walkway leading to his house for all his neighbors to see. He just held on to me as I wept against his chest and then he was pushing me back so he could get a good look at me. I could tell he didn’t like what he saw. While my bruises had healed quite a bit, they were far from gone.
“I’m going to kill him,” he whispered.
I shook my head, but before I could even say anything, I felt him stiffen. I separated from him long enough to see his eyes were on Cain. I hadn’t explained anything to Devon about Ronan and Cain and how they were helping me, but I knew I’d have to now.
“Devon, this is Cain. He’s my…my…”
I was at a complete loss as to what to call him. Friend was probably a stretch. Bodyguard just sounded scary and would set my brother off even further, though since he’d read my note, I doubted he could get much more upset than he already was.
“I’m here to make sure Ethan stays safe,” was all Cain said. He looked tense and I didn’t miss the way he kept looking around the neighborhood.
Watching for Eric, probably.
We’d ended up circling the neighborhood several times before Cain had pulled the rental car into the driveway of my brother’s sedate Craftsman style house. At 45, Devon was the perpetual bachelor, but it was a lifestyle he seemed content with. Although, since I hadn’t seen him in almost four years, he could be married with kids for all I knew.
The realization of how much I’d missed had pain shooting through my veins.
“Can we go inside?” I asked since I wasn’t sure I could keep it together and I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of the few neighbors who were out and about.
Devon nodded and put his arm around my shoulders as he led me up the walkway. His house looked the same inside as it had four years earlier so I suspected I hadn’t missed a big event with him like a wedding or a new baby, but it didn’t ease the knowledge that I’d been so blinded by my need to be with Eric that I hadn’t been the brother I should have been.
