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“Sit,” Devon murmured as he motioned to the couch. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”
“No,” I said softly. Cain also declined and I felt him settle down on the couch next to me which left the armchair for Devon. I wasn’t surprised when he turned it so he was facing me.
“Ethan,” he said softly, though he was saying it more like he couldn’t believe I was there.
I reached out to grab his hand. “I’m okay,” I whispered.
He nodded. My big, tough brother looked so distressed that another round of guilt went through me. “You read it, didn’t you?” I asked.
Another nod. “Four years, Ethan. And then six months ago, the cops show up here looking for you. Saying you’d taken the daughter of a man you’d been stalking.”
I flinched because I hadn’t realized that was the angle Eric had come up with. The irony was almost too much.
“I messed up, Devon…not with taking Lucy,” I clarified. “The things I said to you guys…”
Memories of the cruel words I’d flung at my family as they’d tried to convince me Eric was no good for me filtered through me like little shards of glass.
“None of that matters,” Devon said firmly. “We knew you didn’t mean what you said.”
I nodded and glanced at Cain. I hated that he would be seeing yet another side of me. I wondered if there’d ever be a chance for me to show him I was something besides a weak, stupid, foolish man.
“Tell me everything,” Devon insisted “From the beginning.”
I sighed because I really didn’t want to have to tell my story again, but I knew I owed it to him. “Can…can we wait until the whole family is together so I only have to tell it once?” I asked.
“Sure,” Devon said softly. “I’ll call them now and ask them to come over.”
“Do they know I’m here?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I wanted to make sure you wanted to see them first.”
Part of me didn’t, but most of me did. I could only hope they’d be as forgiving as Devon. “I do,” I said.
“Okay,” Devon responded and then he was getting up, presumably to make the calls.
“Devon, can I use your bathroom to clean up?”
He nodded. “You can use the one in the guest room next to my room.” He looked at Cain. “I have a second guest room you can use tonight.”
Cain rose to his feet. “We can’t stay here tonight. It’s not safe…Eric might be having the house watched.”
I stiffened at that.
Devon rose to his full height and said, “I can protect my brother.”
Before Cain could respond, I got up and stepped in front of Devon. “Devon, I trust Cain and if he says it isn’t safe, it isn’t safe. I can’t,” my voice broke. “I can’t put you and our family at risk.” When he didn’t respond right away I whispered, “Please, Devon.”
He didn’t like it, but he nodded and then his arms were around me again. “Okay little brother, we’ll do it your way. But when this is over, you come right back to us, do you hear me?”
I nodded and barely managed to hold back my tears.
“Go get cleaned up,” Devon urged.
“Are you coming?” I asked Cain, more because I was afraid to leave him and Devon alone together than anything else.
“You go on. I’m sure your brother has some questions for me.”
That was what I was afraid of.
I nodded and stepped past Cain. I accidentally brushed his hand with mine, but before I could apologize, he actually grabbed my fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze. Air rushed out of my lungs as heat and electricity shot up my arm and spread throughout my entire body. I looked up at Cain in surprise and was startled to see his eyes light up with…something.
But just as quickly as it was there, it was gone and he moved out of my way to let me pass.
By the time I got upstairs, my body started to give out on me and I was forced to sit down on the bed. Sitting down led to lying down and before I knew it, I was out. By the time I woke up, an hour had passed. I jolted upright, ready to jump off the bed and run downstairs to make sure Devon and Cain hadn’t killed each other. But just as I swung my legs off the bed, I saw Cain sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, his eyes on me and his hand holding my letter.
My final farewell letter.
And he did not look happy.
Chapter Eleven
Cain
Dear Devon,
I don’t even know how to start this letter except maybe to tell you I’m sorry. And to tell you I’m at peace now.
You guys were right about Eric. I knew that even before I walked out of your lives that day and returned to D.C. with him. But I needed what I thought he was offering. Love, acceptance, validation, commitment…all those things Mom and Dad had. I wanted that for myself. I wanted to someday have a family like ours…where love is freely given, not earned. I wanted to someday give to someone else what our family gave to me.
