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Theo stiffened and I saw a host of emotions flash in his eyes, but then his eyes went blank again. I wasn’t sure if Ford had even noticed. “They did,” he said. “But I wasn’t there long… I got out of there pretty quickly.”
He said the words with a little smile, but it was forced and the vagueness had me wondering what the real story was. Ford tried to draw more information out of Theo about that time in his life, but the young man continued to give vague answers that really weren’t answers at all.
When Theo began asking Ford questions about what had happened to him after the events in the athletics shed, Ford told him everything. Theo had returned to his chair. He was rocking again and wringing his hands together as he listened.
“Why didn’t you press charges, Theo?” Ford asked when he was finished. “I hurt you—”
“Because I loved you, Ford. You were my best friend. You… you let me be me when we were together. We both knew what would happen if we were discovered… but I knew you’d get it worse… your brother…” Theo shook his head.
“Did Jimmy hurt you that day, Theo?” I interjected.
Ford looked at me in surprise, then at Theo. “Did he?” he croaked.
Theo shook his head. “He threatened me… told me not to tell anyone his brother was a…” Theo bobbed his head a little, clearly reluctant to say the word. “He told me if he ever saw us together again, he’d kill you. I knew he meant it,” Theo whispered. “He wasn’t right in the head. He didn’t even mention not pressing charges against you… all he cared about was word getting out that you were gay.”
Ford looked at his hands. “I’m sorry, Theo. I should have protected you from him. I should have—”
“You were a kid, Ford. We were both kids. We tried to look out for each other, but we both knew it was impossible.”
Ford nodded and looked at Theo. “You did look out for me, Theo. You gave me a glimpse of who I wanted to be. I don’t think I’d be here today if you hadn’t done that.” His eyes shifted to me. “I wouldn’t have the things I have now,” he said softly. I couldn’t help but touch his face with my thumb. His eyes were dark with emotion, but I was glad for that. It meant he wasn’t trying to shove them away somewhere. He was dealing with them.
He was dealing with the truth.
Ford looked back at Theo. “Are you okay, Theo? You’re happy?”
Theo smiled, but once again, it looked forced. There was no light in his eyes to match the grin. “Yeah, I’m doing really good.”
“Are you teaching like you wanted?” Ford asked hopefully.
“Um, not yet,” Theo hedged. “I’m still working toward my degree… I’ve got a few classes to finish up. I’m working part-time at this place for adults with developmental disabilities, though. I enjoy it.”
“That’s great,” Ford said, though I knew his voice well enough to hear the hesitation. He’d told me how much Theo had always wanted to work with younger kids. He’d wanted to teach classes like science and math, since those were the subjects he’d loved so much as a child himself.
I listened as the men exchanged a little more small talk. There was a decent amount of discomfort between them, but I also caught glimpses of the friends they’d once been. After an hour, we said our goodbyes to Theo and while he promised to keep in touch with Ford, my gut was telling me it wouldn’t be as easy as all that. I watched the two men hug and wasn’t surprised when Ford whispered another apology to Theo. “Promise me you’ll call me if you need something,” Ford said. He’d already given Theo his phone number and our address.
“Promise,” Theo said with a smile.
The empty one.
Ford nodded and they hugged one last time.
“It was nice to meet you, Cam,” Theo said as he shook my hand.
“You too. We’d love to have you come visit us,” I said. “We’ve got plenty of room.” When I saw something spark in Theo’s eyes, it was all I could do not to react.
“Thank you, I’ll think on it,” Theo lied smoothly. I wasn’t sure if Ford noticed or not, but I didn’t say anything.
I took Ford’s hand as we left the apartment and headed down the stairs. There was no banter this time and we didn’t speak until we were in my truck.
“He’s not happy,” Ford murmured. “Something’s happened to him.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But I believe he meant what he said, Ford. I don’t think he blames you for anything.”
Ford nodded and then looked at me. “No, he doesn’t. He was telling the truth about that.” He looked at the apartment building, then the neighborhood. “I don’t want to leave him here. Is that strange?” he asked. “It’s not because I still have feelings for him,” he quickly added.
