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“What?” I asked when my brain processed his question.
“What shows did you like—”
“No,” I cut in. “What did you say before that?” It was all I could do not to grip the bunny harder and keep my tone even.
“You didn’t like Leave it to Beaver?”
“I didn’t,” I whispered. “I didn’t.”
I wasn’t aware Sawyer had taken the rabbit from me until I heard the lock on the habitat door click into place. I looked down at my empty arms, which were extended like I was still holding the rabbit.
“I hated that show,” I whispered. “I knew it wasn’t real. I knew it. I hated it.”
I could tell Sawyer was clueless about what I was talking about, but it didn’t matter. I turned and hurried out of the building. I didn’t even take the gloves off my hands. I practically ran to Gentry’s enclosure. His habitat had a second set of fencing around it that was only accessible through the building attached to the enclosure. The door to that building was locked with both a deadbolt lock and a padlock.
“Do you have the keys?” I asked Sawyer when he caught up to me.
He studied me for a moment, then nodded and opened the door for me. His trust in me was humbling.
As expected, the cage inside the building was empty. I used the second door to get to the section between the two fences. It allowed me to be closer to the animal’s habitat without actually getting inside of it. I studied the snow for pawprints and finally saw them on the far side of the pen.
“What’s going on, Ford?” Sawyer asked.
“He asked me what shows I liked,” I said quickly. “He only ever asked me what shows I liked and I didn’t answer him because I don’t have any shows… I always watched…” I shook my head because I knew Sawyer would have no way of knowing what I was talking about. I hurried along the fence until I was closer to the part where there were the most pawprints.
“Ford?”
“Please, Sawyer,” I whispered. “I need to see him.”
If Sawyer thought I was acting like a crazy person, which I most definitely was, he didn’t comment on it. In fact, he held back a little bit.
I didn’t see Gentry at first, despite the lights that shone above us. But I refused to give up on my seemingly foolish quest, and the longer I stood there and focused, the quicker I pinpointed the animal’s location. Despite the fence separating us, I couldn’t help but be nervous. Logically, I knew there was no way the animal could get to me or somehow recognize me as someone who was related to one of the men who’d hurt him so badly, but I was still afraid.
There was a huge log on the ground among a cluster of denser trees and when I saw movement behind it, I stepped in that direction to see if I could get a better look at the bear. When I was within a couple of feet of that part of the fence, I heard a loud snuffling sound and then saw the shape move. I froze when Gentry sat up and began shuffling backwards. The animal was huge, even though he was still sitting down. But instead of coming at me, he moved back until he hit a tree behind him.
I wanted to kill Jimmy in that moment. I really did. He’d brutalized a creature who naturally had very little to fear. But I also knew that Gentry had come from a place where men had treated him cruelly, so he’d had little reason to trust to begin with.
“He trusted Dallas, didn’t he?” I said softly, knowing Sawyer was close enough to hear me. “Before Jimmy.”
“He did. He still does,” he added. “But Dallas isn’t the one he’s afraid to trust now.”
I nodded. “It’s everyone else,” I said. “Even those who never hurt him.”
“The bullets and the burns healed quickly. It was being trapped that’s left scars that may never heal.”
I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes as I stared at the animal’s soulful ones. He was breathing heavily, but he wasn’t trying to get away anymore. I removed the work glove I was still wearing and put my hand on his enclosure fence. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I would have stopped him if I could have.”
Gentry didn’t move at all, but that made me glad. It meant he wasn’t terrified of me. “Don’t give up on us, Gentry,” I said. “Please, just… just don’t give up, okay?”
The huge animal shifted, but instead of lying back down or moving farther into the grove of trees, he approached me. I held my breath and left my hand where it was. The links in the fence weren’t big enough for him to actually grab me. The worst he could do was maybe scratch my palm. But I was still nervous. I stood my ground, though, and when he started sniffing the air around him, I hoped like hell he was only smelling things he was familiar with in a good way, like Dallas and Nolan. I hadn’t seen Jimmy in several days, but what if we both had some weird scent in our blood that proved we were related?
