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I wanted to laugh at how I was overthinking all this.
But it was just further proof of how important this moment was to me.
I held my breath when Gentry neared the fence. He didn’t get any closer than a couple of feet but when Sawyer whispered, “Here,” and handed me a little bag of something, I slowly removed my hand from the fence to accept it.
They were some kind of berries.
I carefully removed a few and then dropped them through the fence’s links. Gentry hesitated for several beats before moving closer and reaching for the berries. He used his massive paw to pull the snow with the berries closer to him, then started sifting through the white powder to find the treats. I dropped a few more. Gentry did the same move, then walked closer to me. Tears began sliding down my cheeks when he sat down in front of the fence and made grunting sounds and put his paw up against the chain-link. I sniffled to hold back the tears as I did my best to put the berries against his paw. Most of them fell to the ground anyway, but it took just seconds for him to bend down and eat them up. Then his paw was back on the fence asking for more.
“Oh God,” I whispered to no one in particular.
Well, it was to someone, but he wasn’t here at the moment and I really wished he was.
I fed Gentry all of the berries in the bag. When the bear realized I was out, he slowly checked the snow for more, then made his way back to his sleeping spot behind the log. I stepped back from the fence.
“Are you okay?” Sawyer asked.
I looked at him and said, “Whatever that fucker did to you, Sawyer, don’t let him take even another second of your life.” I threw my arms around him and whispered, “Not one more, do you hear me?”
I felt him nod against me.
“I need to see Cam,” I said desperately.
“Go,” he said. “I’ll lock up and meet you up there.”
I nodded, then kissed him on the cheek. I hurried past him and back around the enclosure as fast as I could without scaring Gentry. When I left the building that was attached to the enclosure, I started running. I saw Sawyer still standing in the same spot I’d left him.
I was panting when I slammed through the side door of the house and sought out Cam. Everyone was standing around the kitchen island chatting, except Newt, who was playing on the living room floor with Puddles, Loki, and Snot.
I focused on Cam. “I don’t like Leave it to Beaver.”
He studied me for a beat but instead of asking me what I was talking about, he said, “What other shows don’t you like?”
I kissed him hard because I knew he’d get it. He wrapped his arms around me and held me for the longest time. “The Price is Right,” I whispered. “Any game show, really. And I hate that Andy Griffith show… sorry, Sheriff,” I said as I pulled back so I could look at him.
Cam laughed. “That little kid annoyed the sh—” Cam’s voice cut out abruptly as he looked over his shoulder at Newt who was watching him with knowing eyes. “Ship out of me,” he amended. Newt nodded approvingly.
I quickly turned to locate Dallas. All the men were watching us with amusement, but when I pulled free of Cam and stepped in front of Dallas, Nolan made room for me.
“Newt,” I called. “If you close your ears for a minute, I’ll design you a special racing uniform to go with your helmet!”
“Deal!” the boy shouted, then he started singing loudly. I glanced at him to see he also had his hands jammed over his ears. I smiled and turned my attention back to Dallas.
“Dallas, I’m so fucking sorry for what Jimmy did to Gentry and you and Nolan,” I blurted. “I didn’t know he was going to do it, or I swear, I would have stopped him. I don’t know how, but I would have stopped him. I know I can’t make up for it” – I looked at Maddox as I remembered our conversation when he’d asked me to paint the first mural – “and I know it isn’t my responsibility to pay for his crimes,” – I let my eyes briefly shift to Cam before turning them back to Dallas – “but if you’re okay with it, I’d like to paint something in Gentry’s building. I know Maddox asked me to do all the buildings but I wasn’t going to do that one because I didn’t want to see Gentry but I saw him and he’s beautiful and strong and he deserves it and I—”
“Yes,” Dallas interjected. “We’d love that,” he said, his voice low and raspy. He reached for Nolan who put his arm around Dallas’s waist. “Gentry would love it.”
