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“I can count them on a hand.” She started pulling pins out of her hair and tossing them on the bed.
“Enough of this, Sofi´a,” he growled. “They’ll get over it.”
She fixed her gaze on him, twin ebony pools of fire that singed him with her contempt. “Do you know what she said to me, your countess? She told me that I will never be accepted by Akathinian society because I am just not one of you. That you should have chosen a woman who understands the intricacies of what you are facing instead of one who will detract from your popularity.”
He frowned. “She said that?”
“That wasn’t even the best of it. She told me it was unfortunate I wasn’t taking your best interests to heart by trapping you into marriage with a baby. That you would realize your mistake of attaching yourself to a nobody like me.”
He clenched his jaw. “Thee mou, Sofi´a, those are the words of a woman who has suffered her own humiliation. The Agieros have a name to protect. I don’t condone her for attacking you like that, but she can be forgiven for slipping.”
“Slipping? She came after me. I’d been avoiding her all evening.”
That surprised him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I am. I wish it could have been different tonight. But it will get easier, I promise you.”
She pulled the last of the pins out of her hair, the long silken tresses floating around her shoulders. Turned that volatile dark stare on him. “What do you want from me, Nik? I have agreed to this marriage. I have given up my life. And still you keep asking for more.”
“I want you to stop fighting what you can’t change. You’re only making it more difficult for yourself.”
“While you want everything.” She glared at him, her cheeks firing a deep red. “Do you know how hard I’ve tried to put my past behind me? How much I’d like to forget I was the girl who lived in the apartment building none of my friends were allowed to go to because so many bad things happened there? I had put that behind me until the press dredged up my meager beginnings. Then they go and quote one of the women I hated from my fashion design class, who called me Scholarship Girl, who never let me forget I didn’t belong in her high society circles, who refused to acknowledge the talent that got me there. Now she,” she rasped, “was smart. She made it sound as if we were fast friends, so she could attach her name to mine for her own advantage.”
He stared at her for a long moment, the misery she must have felt as a child hitting him square in the chest. He took a deep breath. “It’s unfortunate, Sofi´a, how they have portrayed you. But if you let them destroy you over this, it’s they who have the power, not you. You can’t let them do that to you.”
She lifted her chin. “I am better than that.”
“Yes, you are,” he agreed, sitting down on the bed beside her. “You blow me away with your strength. What it must have taken for you to survive as a young girl. So use it now. Design the best clothing line that silences them all. Be that designer you’ve always wanted to be. The people’s respect will come if you show them who you are.
She stared mutely at him. “That’s easy for you to say,” she finally said. “I’m scared. I feel lost Nik. Hopelessly adrift. Way out of my depth. I don’t know if I can do this. And that’s before we add a child to the mix.”
“Did you ever stop to think how I feel? This is new for me, too, Sofi´a. I am finding my way. Amid the press who make constant comparisons of me to my brother and father, who record my mistakes one by one. I have to believe in myself in this situation. Believe I can run this country, that I can set this nation on the right path. There is no room for doubt or constant second-guessing.”
Her chin dipped. “Is it too much to ask for a little support along the way?”
He shook his head. “You need to do that. But you also need to tell me when you’re scared. When you’re feeling overwhelmed. I’m not a mind reader.”
Her eyes fired. “All well and good for you to say. But since you made that promise to me a couple of weeks ago, Nik, I’ve seen you a total of about an hour a day, most of that time during dinner with your family. Should I book an appointment with you? Slot myself in?”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?” She gave him a scathing look. “Aristos thought I was well in hand with you, you know. That you would enjoy handling me. Putting me in my place.”
