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“You’ve never respected me, dad.”
“Logan, I won’t tolerate having drugs in my house!”
“I know, that’s why I left the meth in the car.”
“I need more wine.”
“Get me another scotch!”
Having had enough, I pushed my chair back and stood, clapping my hands together a few times. “Okay, time to go.”
The boys stood without question and my dad put up a hand to stop us. My mother was too drunk to stand so she watched us from her seat.
“
Now, hold on,” my father started.
“No, dad. We’re leaving. We come visit and we all get berated. It’s such a goddamn joke-”
“Abbigail!”
“Be quiet, mom! Shit!” I turned back to my dad. “Everyone needs to cool down. I didn’t stop fighting one battle in New York to come home and fight another one.”
His fist met my eye and pain rocked through my skull as I landed on the floor of my apartment. I cried out, terrified and in excruciating pain as he wrapped a meaty hand around my ankle and dragged me forward.
I tried to scream but then he was on top of me, clamping one hand over my mouth and pressing my head so hard into the ground I thought my head was going to explode from the pressure. I tasted blood and realized my own tooth was cutting into my lip.
“I brought you flowers!” he shouted in my face, the mask he wore preventing me from seeing him. Fear flew through me and I couldn’t help but think I’m gonna die like this. All I could see were the faces of my family. Simone. Knox. The life that I’d never live and the babies I’d never conceive.
“I brought you gifts!” He grabbed me by my shirt and hauled me up while I thrashed against him and beat my fists against his chest. I could taste blood as he shook me violently and then threw me over the couch where my ribs slammed into the corner of the coffee table. I was groaning and trying to crawl when he came around the side of the couch, something sharp and metallic gleaming in his hand.
“Let’s see how pretty you look after I’m through with you.”
My own scream woke me up and there was sweat dripping down my back and neck. My surroundings weren’t recognizable as I looked around.
“Abbs?” a low voice asked from behind me as I jumped off the couch I was sitting on, crashing to the floor as there was a sheet twisted around my lower half. “Abbs,” the voice repeated and then I turned and saw him. Knox.
Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, I looked around. Slowly, it all came back to me. I was at the gym, in Knox’s office. I’d fallen asleep on the couch while he filed papers. The couch was comfortable and I was so tired… so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open…
“It was a nightmare,” I whispered more to myself than him, casting my eyes down as he stood from his place behind the desk and walked over, crouching down in front of me. He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear, not caring that I was a sweaty mess.
“About New York?” he asked softly. I could only manage a small nod, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth. “Okay, come on, babe. Up we go,” he tucked an arm under my legs and hauled me up, sitting on the couch and tucking me against his side.
“I’m sorry,” I was on the verge of tears.
“Stop. You have nothing to be sorry for, Abbs. You’re safe here, I promise. No one’s going to hurt you.”
A small sob rose from my throat. “They always feel so real. He-he was there and it w-was so dark. He hit me,” my voice was rising and tears flowed freely down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
I promptly burst into tears. Full on ugly crying. Sobbing into Knox’s shirt as though I was in the most indescribable pain, and maybe I was. There was no physical reminder of what he’d done but the memories haunted me. Nightmares, anxiety, paranoia. It was all there. A constant reminder that I wasn’t the same person I used to be.
But Knox was a rock. He let me sob into his shirt while he pulled the sheet around us and held me close, giving me constant reassurances that I was safe. I wasn’t in New York. I wasn’t alone. I was safe.
With him.
I hadn’t felt safe in so long. The last few months were spent on edge, suspended in mid-air, always threatening to fall. But it never happened. I was just stuck there in the unknown with a lingering fear that trouble was around every corner. My nerves were shot. I felt ruined.
At some point I drifted back to sleep, a dreamless one this time. When I awoke later on, Knox and I were a tangle of limbs. His arms were wrapped around me and I was halfway on top of him, one hand underneath his shirt and pressed against his hard chest.
