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When I left Port James five years ago, I never expected to see Knox Fitzgerald again. A nasty breakup, a broken heart, and over two hundred miles of distance ensured that we wouldn’t come face to face again. During the few trips that I made home, he’d never tried to see me, and I avoided the places he frequented. I wanted things to be as easy as possible for the both of us.
Well, maybe that was a lie. Truth be told, I just couldn’t risk seeing Knox. Because if I did, I knew I wouldn’t leave with my heart intact.
Solid plan, I thought now as we faced off on the stairs. It didn’t take long for me to realize how well he’d aged. His dark brown hair looked windswept and messy, like he’d been pulling on the thick strands the way he used to when we were younger. The lips that I was once completely infatuated with were a pale pink and his jaw was strong. Defined. Which obviously meant I could only imagine how the rest of him looked.
His dark eyebrows furrowed. “Your eye…”
The deep timbre of his voice went right through me and a familiar feeling settled low in my stomach. What about my eye? I almost said until I remembered the ugly bruise that surrounded it. Shit.
I pressed my hand gingerly against the bruise, not knowing what to say. “I look awful, right?” I responded and faked a laugh, frozen on the step I was on.
Knox peered at me curiously, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he leaned a hip against the railing. “You could never look awful, Abbs.”
Abbs. My heart thumped painfully against my ribs once. Twice. On the third thump I offered him a weak smile, taking in the blue-green waves behind him as they crashed down. The weather was overcast and the wind felt harsh, mirroring the warring emotions flying through me. But Knox Fitzgerald standing on the beach with angry waves and an overcast sky was the definition of perfection. Had I still been taking photos, this one would have been beautiful.
“Are you okay?” Knox asked, chin dipped low as he looked at me through his eyelashes.
He was uncomfortable, I could feel it. Not that I blamed him, I was caught off guard and not in my comfort zone either. One thing was certain, though; I couldn’t handle the heat of his gaze on me and I needed to leave.
“I’m fine,” I said, my tone firm. “I have it handled.”
He nodded and said nothing. I could have sworn I saw his eyes travel to my mouth. But no, I was probably just tired. Or maybe he was just looking at my split lip. We hadn’t seen or spoken in five years and, based on the way we left things, I was almost positive the last thing he thought about was my mouth or anything that had to do with it.
“I have to get back to my brother’s,” I finally said, wanting to cut us both loose from the awkward exchange.
Knox moved aside as I walked past him, his eyes burning holes in my back as I stumbled ungracefully to the sand. When I turned to say a polite goodbye he was still on the same step with his hands still in his pockets. I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.
“I, uh, took over the gym after my dad passed last year. I’m there every day if you want to stop by. We could, uh, maybe talk about whatever happened. Or not…” he trailed off and scratched the back of his neck.
So, naturally, I did the most embarrassing thing I could possibly do.
I burst out laughing.
I had no idea why. Maybe it was nerves or because I felt awkward. Maybe it was something else all together. There was nothing funny about being attacked by a stalker and then running into an ex. If anything, the whole situation was painfully unfunny. But still, I couldn’t stop laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Knox’s eyes widened as I had a laughing fit right there in the sand, my cheeks red as I placed a hand on my stomach. Stop! Stop it now! Awesome. Great job, Abbigail, you fucking lunatic.
“I’m sorry!” I howled, trying to control myself. For the love of all that is holy, get it together, I thought to myself as he looked on in horror at the laughing maniac with the black eye and split lip. “I’m sorry, I really am. I don’t- don’t mean to laugh. I just… you look so uncomfortable.”
Knox, to my surprise, smiled down at me. A genuine smile that revealed straight white teeth and crinkles at the corners of his eyes. “You’re crazy.”
I nodded my head and pulled myself together, clearing my throat and pushing my hair out of my face. Slipping my flip flops off and picking them up, I decided that I wanted to feel the sand under my feet during my walk home.
“I mean it,” he said. “I don’t know how long you’re in town for and I’m sure you have a ton of people to visit, but come by whenever you want. Whenever you need to, Abbs.”
Not knowing what to say, I nodded my head. Knox wasn’t the type of man who said things he didn’t mean. Growing up he’d prided himself on being honest, sometimes brutally so. Though he’d be there if I needed him, I knew in my heart that I couldn’t let myself need Knox Fitzgerald again. It ended terribly the first time, and I didn’t think either of us could deal with that again.
“Thank you,” I said and nodded once more before turning and making my way back to Robbie’s.
I was stepping up onto the back deck when my phone began vibrating in my back pocket. Looking down at the ID, I saw that it was my mother, presumably calling to talk about “the next steps of me being home.”
“Hey, mom,” I spoke in a monotonous tone.
“Sweetie! So glad I reached you,” she cooed into the phone in a voice filled with so much sweetness it could give someone a cavity.
“I haven’t exactly been unreachable.”
“Still so sassy after going through such a tragedy.”
