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Kate smiled, but it was as washed out as her complexion. With her bald head and sunken eyes, she looked impossibly young and fragile.
"Are you getting tired?" Tully said, sitting up. "Maybe we should go to sleep. "
"I noticed that you apologized to me on air. In your own way. " Her smile expanded. "I mean, without admitting you were a bitch or actually saying the words. You meant that you were sorry. "
"Yeah, well, youre on morphine. You probably saw me fly, too. "
Kate laughed, but it soon dissolved into coughing.
Tully sat up quickly. "Are you okay?"
"Hardly. " She reached for the plastic glass on the table by her bed. Tully leaned over and guided the straw to her mouth. "I started the journal. "
"Thats great. "
"Ill need you to help me remember," she said, putting the glass back. "So much of my life happened with you. "
"Seems like our whole lives. God, Katie, we were such babies when we met. "
"Were still kids," Katie said softly.
Tully heard the sadness in her friends voice; it matched her own. The last thing she wanted to think about right now was how young they were. For years theyd teased each other about getting old. "How much have you written?"
"About ten pages. " When Tully fell silent, Kate frowned. "You arent going to demand to read it?"
"I dont want to intrude. "
"Dont do that, Tully," Kate said.
"Do what?"
"Treat me as if Im dying. I need you to be . . . you. Its the only way I remember who I am. Deal?"
"Okay," she said quietly, promising the only thing she had to give: herself. "Its a deal. " She had to force a smile and both of them knew it. Some lies, it was obvious, would be unavoidable in the days ahead. "Youll need my input, of course. I was a witness to every important moment of your life. And I have a photographic memory. Its a gift. Like my ability to apply makeup and highlight hair. "
Kate laughed. "Theres my Tully. "
Even with self-regulated pain meds, Kate found leaving the hospital a difficult endeavor. First of all, there was the crowd: her parents, her kids and husband, her aunt and uncle, her brother, and Tully. Second, there was just so much movement—out of bed, into the wheelchair, out of the wheelchair, into the car, out of the car, into Johnnys arms.
He carried her through the comfortable, pretty island house that smelled of scented candles and last nights dinner, just as it always had. Hed made spaghetti last night; she could tell. That meant tomorrow night it would be tacos. His two recipes. She rested her cheek against the soft wool of his sweater.
What will he cook for them when Im gone?
The question made her draw in a sharp breath, which she forced herself to release slowly. Being home would hurt like this sometimes; so would being with her family. In a strange way, it would have been easier to spend her final days at the hospital, without all these reminders around her.
But easier wasnt the point anymore. Time with her family was what mattered.
Now they were all in the house, scattering like soldiers to their different tasks. Marah had herded the boys into their room to watch television. Mom was busy making casseroles; Dad was probably mowing the lawn. That left Johnny, Tully, and Kate, making their way down the hallway toward the guest room, which had been redecorated for her homecoming.
"The docs wanted you in a hospital bed," Johnny said. "Ive got one, too, see? Well be like Ricky and Lucy in our twin beds. "
"Of course. " Shed meant to sound matter-of-fact, to simply acknowledge what they both knew: soon she would have trouble sitting up and the bed would help, but her voice betrayed her. "Y-you painted," she said to her husband. The last time shed seen this room it had been barn-red with white trim and red and blue furniture—a casual, beachy look with lots of painted antique pieces and shells in glass bowls. Now it was pale green, almost celery-colored, with rose accents. Family photos were everywhere, in white porcelain frames.
Tully stepped forward. "Actually, I did it. "
"Something to do with shysters," Johnny said.
"Chakras," Tully corrected him. "Its stupid, Im sure, but . . . " She shrugged. "I did a show on it once. Couldnt hurt. "
