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Angie wanted to go to her, kneel down beside her and hold her hand, say Youre not alone in this, but the sad truth was that soon Lauren would be alone. What could be more solitary than giving your baby away?
And nothing Angie could do could protect Lauren from that moment.
Angie closed her eyes. How could they get through all of this with their hearts intact? How--
She felt a tug on her sleeve. She blinked, glanced sideways.
Conlan was staring at her. So was the attorney, Lauren, and everyone in the room.
"Did you ask me something?" she said, feeling her cheeks heat up.
"As I was saying," Stu said, "I like to make an adoption plan. It makes everything go much smoother. Shall we begin?"
"Certainly," Angie said.
Stu looked from Angie to Lauren. "What kind of communication do you want to have, after the adoption?"
Lauren frowned. "What do you mean?"
"After the Malones adopt your child, youll want some kind of communication, I imagine. Phone calls on the babys birthday and perhaps Christmas. Letters and photographs at least once a year. "
Lauren drew in a sharp breath. It sounded like a gasp. She obviously hadnt thought this far ahead, hadnt realized that this adoption would change who they all were. She turned to look at Angie, who suddenly felt as fragile as a winter leaf.
"Well be in touch all the time," Angie said to the attorney, hearing the catch in her voice. "Were . . . Lauren is like family. "
"Im not sure that kind of openness is in the best interest of the child," the lawyer said. "Clearly delineated boundaries are most effective. We find that--"
"Oh," Lauren said, biting down on her lip. She wasnt listening to the lawyer. She was looking at Conlan and Angie. "I hadnt thought about that. A baby needs one mother. "
David leaned over and took Laurens hand in his.
"We dont have to have an adoption like everyone elses," Angie said. She would have said more but her voice softened, cracked, and she couldnt think of anything. She couldnt imagine letting Lauren just walk out of their lives . . . but what other end was there to all of this?
Lauren looked at her. The sadness in the girls dark eyes was almost unbearable. For once she looked old, ancient even. "I didnt realize . . . I should have. " She tried to smile. "Youre going to be the perfect mom, Angie. My baby is lucky. "
"Our baby," David said softly. Lauren gave him a heartbreakingly sad smile.
Angie sat there a moment longer, unsure of what to say.
Finally, Lauren looked at the lawyer again. "Tell me how it works best?"
The meeting went on and on; words were batted back and forth and committed to paper, black marks that delineated how each of them could behave.
All the while Angie wanted to go to Lauren and take the girl in her arms and whisper that it would be all right.
But now, sitting here in this room of laws and rules, surrounded by hearts that didnt quite know what to feel, she wondered.
Would it be all right?
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ANYONES MEMORY, IT DIDNT rain on Easter Sunday. Instead, the sun rose high in a clear blue sky. The sidewalks were full of people, most of them dressed in their Sunday best as they walked in all different directions to their churches.
Angie walked between Conlan and Lauren. Up ahead, the church bells started to peal. Her friends and family started toward the church, funneling inside.
Just outside the doors, Angie paused. Conlan and Lauren had no choice but to pause, too.
"Well tell them everything later. At the Easter egg hunt, right?"
They both nodded.
