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“For what?”
“It would break my heart to think that you had changed so much. ” She reached out, touched Rubys cheek in a fleeting, tender caress. “You could always light up a room like no one Ive ever known. Remember that day we went to the island newspaper to get them to cover the eighth-grade dance?” She smiled. “I sat there, watching you make your argument, and thought, She could run the country, this girl of mine. I was so damned proud of you. ”
Ruby swallowed hard.
Nora went back to cutting Rubys hair. A few minutes later; she said, “Ah, there we are. All done. ” She stepped aside and handed Ruby a mirror.
Ruby looked at her reflection, captured as it was in the silvered oval. She looked young again. A woman with most of her life ahead of her; instead of a bitter, struggling comic whod left her youth sitting on barstools. “It looks great,” she said, turning to her mother.
Their eyes met, locked. Understanding passed between them, quick as an electric shock.
“I went to see Dad yesterday. ”
“I know. He came to see me. ”
Ruby should have guessed. “We have to talk about it. ”
Nora sighed. It was a sound like the slow leaking of air from a punctured tire. “Yes. ” She bent down and retrieved her crutches. “I dont know about you, butIll need a cup of coffee for this . . . and a chair. Ill definitely need to sit down. ” Without waiting, she hobbled toward the porch.
Ruby put the stool away, then grabbed two cups of coffee and went out onto the porch. Nora was seated on the love seat; Ruby chose the rocker.
Nora t
ook a cup of coffee from her. “Thanks. ”
“Dad told me hed been unfaithful to you,” Ruby said it in a rush.
“What else?”
“Does anything else matter?”
Nora frowned. “Of course other things matter. ” Ruby didnt know what to say to that. “He sort of blamed it on Vietnam . . . well . . . maybe not. I wasnt sure what he blamed it on. He said the war changed him, but I got the feeling he thought he would have fooled around anyway. ”
Nora leaned back in her chair. “I loved your dad from the moment I first saw him, but we were young, and we got married for childish reasons. I wanted a family and a place where I could feel safe. He wanted. . . ” She smiled. “Im still not sure what he wanted. A woman to come home to, maybe. A woman who thought he was perfect. For a while we were an ideal couple. We both thought he was God. ”
“It was easy to see him that way. He acted so. . . loving and nice. ”
“Dont judge him too harshly, Ruby. His infidelity was only part of what broke us up. It was just as much my fault. ”
“Did you screw other men, too?”
“No, but I loved him too much, and that can be as bad as not loving someone enough. I needed so much reassurance and love, I sucked him dry. No man can fill up all the dark places in a womans soul. I knew hed be unfaithful sooner or later. I think I made him crazy with my questions and my suspicions. ”
Ruby didnt understand. “You knew hed be unfaithful? How?”
“You said you lived with a man. Max was his name, right?”
Ruby nodded. “Yeah. But what-”
“Was he faithful?”
“No. Well . . . for a while, maybe. ”
“Did you expect him to be?”
“Of course. ” Ruby said it quickly. Too quickly. Then she sighed and sat back. “No. I didnt expect him to want only me. ”
“Of course not. If a girls mother doesnt love her enough to stick around, why should a man?” Nora gazed at her; the smile she gave Ruby was sad. "Thats the gift my father gave me, the one I passed on to you.
