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Mad Dog frowned. "Look, kid—"
But Jake wasnt listening. He shoved away from the table and ran from the room, leaving Mad Dog sitting alone.
"Jesus Christ," he said into the silence. "The kids as touchy as she is. "
Mariah bolted breathlessly down the loose rock path, trying to regain control. Then suddenly she stopped.
Ahead lay the white picket fence. She stared at it, trying suddenly to remember how it felt to be on the other side.
That gate used to be nothing to me. . . .
She tried to imagine reaching for the latch, turning it, pushing through.
Fear set in immediately, suffocating her. Her heartbeat sped up, her breathing stalled.
She swallowed hard and turned away from the fence. Clasping her hands together, she ran toward the orchard.
Maybe tomorrow, she thought desperately. Maybe tomorrow you wont think twice about leaving. . . .
But the words were hollow, empty, and she knew it. She hadnt wanted to leave the farm in years; not since shed come back years ago, humiliated and ashamed and pregnant. Then, shed closed the gate behind her and tried to forget about the world that lay beyond the safety of this farm. Shed never meant to stay here, never meant to hide, but somehow she hadnt left.
She squeezed her eyes shut and felt a drenching wave of despair. Involuntarily she remembered the last time shed closed that gate behind her. Shed been sixteen and full of fire and dreams.
Stephen.
She sank slowly to her knees in the dewy grass and bowed her head. Memories of that time, that life, surged through her mind, and she was too tired to fight them off, too weak to make herself forget.
The night shed met Stephen shed been in town with her parents for a performance of Romeo and Juliet by a troupe of traveling European actors.
Stephen had, of course, been Romeo.
She hadnt been able to keep her eyes off him. He was larger than life onstage, and blindingly handsome. When he smiled at her, Mariahs bones seemed to melt into the rickety bench upon which shed been sitting. No one had ever noticed her the way he had, no one had ever smiled at her quite that way before.
She remembered the night so clearly. Thousands of stars twinkled in the late summer sky. After the performance, shed walked idly toward the bridge, kicking a stone, waiting for her parents. It had taken her a long time to realize that theyd gone home without her.
Even now, she felt a stab of pain in her heart at the realization. She knew then, as she knew now, that they loved her. They simply loved each other more.
She sat on the timbered bridge, letting her feet dangle into the cool darkness of the night, feeling lonely. Palms pressed to the scratchy wood, she stared up at the blanket of stars and tried not to cry.
"Whats a wee pretty girl like yourself doin sittin out here all alone?"
Marian still remembered the lilting softness of his Irish brogue.
Hed been so handsome, her Stephen. So charming and beguiling. A twenty-two-year-old actor with a ready laugh and a gentle touch. To a lonely sixteen-year-old girl, he was a dream come true. Shed been lonely then, starved for the words "I love you. " And when he said them, whispered them in her ear with a sweet, laughing kiss, shed been lost.
She shook her head, feeling the start of a small, bittersweet smile. If only his laughter had lasted, or she had depended upon it less . . .
She blinked hard and forced her eyes open. She tried to push the long-suppressed memories back into the shadows from which theyd come, but she couldnt find the strength.
Shed fallen in love so damn easily, and asked so little in return.
Please, God, dont let me make that mistake again. Help me to be strong. . . .
She lay back in the cool, damp grass and closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of the sun on her face.
She was almost asleep when the sound of footsteps awakened her. She opened her eyes and looked up.
At first all she saw was a shadowy silhouette, backlit by the rising sun. Then she saw the hat, the smile. A shiver moved through her.
