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t he had to have known I would find out and it would hurt me. Why didn’t he tell me himself?
I pull into the driveway, my hands shaking and my head pounding. I take several deep breaths, trying to get my nerves under control, before I shut the car off and climb out. I’m walking up the steps when the door is pulled open. Judge stands there wearing an unreadable expression.
I storm past him and head to the hallway to check on Maisy. She’s at the desk Judge had delivered for her.
“Hey, kiddo, whatcha doin’?” I ask, keeping my voice calm.
“Writing Nina a letter. Daddy said he’ll make sure it gets mailed out.”
Nina is one of her best friends back in Kentucky.
“I’m sure she’ll love getting a letter from you.”
She turns and smiles up at me. “Yeah.”
I run my hand down the back of her head. “Me and your dad are going to be out back for a little while. If you need anything, come get us.”
“Okay.” She flips the pencil over and erases something, then swipes away the tiny eraser pieces once she’s finished.
I leave her and find Judge leaning against the wall in the hallway. I glower at him as I pass by. My steps are purposeful as I walk to the back door and go outside to the patio. I stop at the edge of the cement, crossing my arms over my chest, and stare out into the backyard.
I don’t know what emotion dominates more. Anger, hurt, or betrayal. I just know I don’t like the feelings.
The door clicks behind me and I feel him getting close. Thankfully, he stops before he reaches me, and keeps quiet. I’m sure Layla or Jamie called and told him what happened in the store.
After several tense moments, I turn and face him. His expression is still closed off, but I sense wariness surrounding him. He appears relaxed, but appearances can be very deceiving.
“Who exactly are Layla, Jamie, and Gillian to you?” I start, my body stiff as I glare at him.
“My ex-lovers,” he answers bluntly.
His answer shouldn’t come as a surprise. I’ve gathered as much from my eavesdropping and conversation with Layla and Jamie. It still hurts to have it confirmed.
“Are you still sleeping with them or plan to start again?”
His expression morphs into something that almost has me taking a step back. Anger isn’t a strong enough word to cover what his face holds.
“Don’t fucking insult me that way, Ellie,” he growls. “And don’t insult yourself or what we have between us. You know I’d never do that to you.”
“It’s been twelve years since we were together, Judge. I don’t really know you anymore. Three women at once? Jesus,” I mutter and rake my hand through my hair.
He yanks his hands from his pockets and takes several steps toward me. “First, I’m not going to apologize for who I slept with between the time we broke up and the time you came back into my life. I shouldn’t have to.” He takes another step, and I almost stumble off the cement slab. I catch myself on a chair before I topple over. “Second, I wasn’t fucking them at the same time. It was a mutual agreement we all agreed upon. I spent time with each of them. Separately. Sexually and otherwise. We all benefitted from it.”
“So, you’re saying they all just sort of shared you?” I ask in disbelief. “And they were okay with that? What did you do? Spend the morning with one and the evening with another?”
His jaw flexes as he grinds his teeth together. Tipping his back, he pulls in a breath before dropping it back down.
“What I shared with Layla, Jamie, and Gillian was more than sex. It was friendship and companionship. Yes, we enjoyed each other’s bodies, but that wasn’t the main focus of our relationship. I cared deeply for them. I still do.” I pale at his words. “Fuck!” he yells, raking his hand through his hair. “As friends, Ellie. I still care for them as friends. There was never love involved, except for the love you feel for friends.”
I hug my middle and try to stop the cramps in the pit of my stomach from getting worse.
“How do I know you don’t secretly want one of them or miss being with them? I’m only one person. How can I give you what all three of them gave you? Is that why you ended things between us? Because I wasn’t enough for you?” I whisper my fear.
His expression softens, and he closes the gap between us. I want to push the hand away that he puts against my cheek. Instead, I close my eyes and soak in the warmth of his palm.
“The reason I ended things had nothing to do my need to be with more than one woman. You were more than enough for me. And Layla, Jamie, and Gillian don’t have the one thing you have,” he says softly.
“What?”
