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I lift my chin, and his tilts down, accepting what I’ll never be able to put into words.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

ELLIE

“I’M DONE. CAN WE GO SEE EMO NOW?”

Grabbing the dish towel from my shoulder, I dry my hands before tossing it on the counter. “Throw away your trash and go ask your dad.”

I watch as she takes the paper plate and napkin to the trash can and dumps it. After she hands me her empty cup, she runs out of the kitchen, yelling, “Daddy!”

I smile as she goes. Rinsing the glass, I put it in the dishwasher and close the door. As I do, my eyes land on the faded rope burns around my wrists. I turn and lean back against the counter, closing my eyes and letting out a deep breath. Memories from a few days ago worm their way into my subconscious and the same fear, helplessness, and internal pain I felt that day strangles my lungs.

My knuckles scream in protest from gripping the counter so tight, and my breaths come out in choppy pants. Prickles skitter across my scalp and it feels like a huge weight is pressing down on my chest. Sweat breaks out on my forehead, but I’m so damn cold, all the way to my bones. Light-headedness has me swaying, and I swear I’m heading toward the floor, but at the last minute, my momentum stops and warmth envelops me.

I cradle myself against it and suck in several gulps of air. An achingly familiar woodsy scent fills my lungs, and I almost cry in relief.

I open my eyes and lock on a pair of worried green ones. I’m in his lap on the couch in the living room, with no idea how I got there.

He brushes away the damp hair from my forehead, a wrinkle creasing his forehead.

“You need to talk to Trouble about your panic attacks,” his voice rumbles, a hint of anxiety mixed in with the deep timbre.

This is the fourth time I’ve had one in the three days since Sierra threatened our lives. They’re not stemmed from my own terrible experience, but from the terror of almost losing Maisy and Judge. That bullet was so close to hitting Maisy. Had Emo not jumped in front of her, it would have.

“I’ll talk to him,” I promise.

I’m hoping that over time my anxiety will dwindle, but until then, I hate knowing I’m worrying Judge. Thankfully, I’ve been able to hide it from Maisy.

I try to get up from Judge’s lap, but he holds me in place with an arm across my lap. “In a minute,” he murmurs.

I’m not the only one suffering from the effects of Sierra’s actions. Judge has his own demons he faces every day. He’s just better at hiding it. Except for the first day, Maisy seems to not have had any lasting effects. Our daughter is resilient and can bounce back from anything—something we’re both grateful for.

Judge rests his forehead on my temple, his eyes closing, arms tightening around me, and takes several deep breaths. It breaks my heart to see his grief.

Grabbing one of his hands, I place it over my heart, letting him feel that I’m okay by the beat of my heart. His eyes flip open and settle on mine. So many unspoken words can be seen in his tortured gaze. Leaning forward, I place my lips over his. Air whooshes over my face with his ragged exhale.

“I love you,” I whisper softly against his lips.

“I love you too.” His declaration is just as quiet.

Sneakers squeaking on the floor have both of us looking to the right just as Maisy emerges from the hallway. She’s headed toward the kitchen, but changes directions when she spots us on the couch. She stops with her knees touching the cushion, anticipation lighting her face, her backpack slamming against her back.

“Can we go now?”

I can’t help the smile from forming on my face. Every day since he was shot, Maisy has begged to go visit Emo. Despite his aloof exterior and uncaring vibes, Emo has stolen her heart. She says he needs someone to love and she’s determined to be that person. He’s still quiet and reserved, never letting on that she’s getting to him, but I’ve seen the affection in his eyes as he looks at her when he thinks no one is watching. Maisy has stolen his heart as well. I think being near Emo has helped keep her own demons from that day away.

With a quick kiss to Judge’s lips, I get up from his lap.

“You got everything you need?” I ask.

“Yep!” she chirps. “It’s in my backpack.”

Judge grabs the ends of Maisy’s pigtails, and she giggles as he gently tugs her forward, kissing her forehead before getting to his feet.

“Let’s go.”

We meet Declan outside as he’s getting out of his car. Maisy skips over to him for a hug. His arms are tight around her and he closes his eyes. He just saw her an hour ago, but every second is precious with the ones you love.

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