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“So, how about we order first?”
The waiter brings us wine.
“I picked the wine, I hope you don’t mind.” I say but already know the answer as Sebastian takes a sip.
“Not at all,” he says, looking delighted. “You’re good at it, so why the hell not?”
“It’s strange,” I say. “But I don’t have a lot of friends. Not close ones anyway, just acquaintances. People I know because of business deals or people interested in becoming friends because they think they can use me to climb the social ladder.”
“That sounds incredibly lonely.”
“You know I’ve never wanted a lot of people around me,” I say and I don’t even know why I’m telling him all that. “I always sort of kept to myself when I was younger and that hasn’t changed much. But I do want a family. I don’t want to stay a single man the rest of my life.”
“Aren’t women dying to marry you?”
“They are,” I say. “I’m just not dying to marry them.”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“Not at the moment, no.”
“So, what do you want in a life partner?”
“Someone who can die for me,” I say, looking straight at him. “Someone I can die for.”
He smiles. “You do that too,” Sebastian says.
“Do what?”
“Chase after dreams.”
There’s something unbelievably sad about the way he says this. And that sadness lingers even after he’s stopped talking.
“Some dreams are worth chasing, Sebastian.”
He looks at me like I’ve said something he doesn’t quite believe but wants to. The waiter comes with the menus and we get busy ordering. We get more wine and Sebastian starts to loosen up. “You know I never had one-night stands,” Sebastian says, laughing. “Everyone I knew fucked everyone else but I never could. So, I always felt left out. Sometimes I used to lie to my friends, make up stories about some girl so they wouldn’t tease me but I think they all knew that I was lying to cover up the fact that I didn’t have to guts to go for what I wanted. And it was true I didn’t…have the guts to go for what I wanted.”
The food arrives and we get busy eating. “So,” Sebastian says. “Why did you call me here?”
“I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Oh.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“No…it’s just…I thought this might be work-related.”
> “Well, it is. I’m finding out if latest model is doing okay?”
“I’m not the one who got bashed last night and almost-killed someone.”
“No,” I say. “You’re just the guy who helped a friend all night and clearly didn’t get much sleep. And you’re obviously still worried about him.”
“You know, Teague and I, we’ve grown up together. He’s always been there for me. Fending off bullies in school or worrying about me when I didn’t have a date and he did. He’s done a lot for me and now he’s put me in a situation where he’s in trouble and there’s not much I can do.”
“Sebastian, you’re already doing all you can!”
“Yeah, but I just want it all to go away. Fuck, why doesn’t life come with an UNDO button?”
