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Chapter One
4 Years, 3 Months Ago
BRODY
“C’mon dude, work with me here. I swear I’ll be more selective going forward. GO LIMP YOU BASTARD!”
Okay so maybe taking Viagra wasn’t the smartest idea after all. Let me be clear that I don’t need it; I’m a healthy twenty-three-year-old guy. And I’m hung like Justin Bieber, only thicker. Yeah, I saw the pictures online—color me curious. But back to my predicament: My buddy swore the little blue pill is the ultimate sexual enhancer so I decided to partake. I’d like to point out that most guys don’t regularly get the chance to have a horizontal party with two hot sisters and said chance was presented to me on a silver platter. Before you get grossed out, they’re step-sisters so it’s not as weird as it sounds. And did I mention how fucking hot they are? We’re talking Pamela Anderson from the good ol’ Baywatch days. Not current Pam because let’s face it; a Susan Sarandon she is not. I mean seriously, could Suz be any sexier? She’s aged like fine wine—a vintage I’d drink like a motherfucking Slurpee. Great, now I’m thinking about banging hot MILF’s which certainly isn’t helping my boner situation. I’ve always had a thing for older women.
Anyhoo, I’m getting off track again. Where was I? Oh yeah, I’m sitting in the Emergency Room parking lot talking to my painfully hard dick. The commercials warn that you should seek medical attention if your erection lasts more than four hours. Well, here I am, EIGHT hours and TWO ROUNDS with the sisters later, with a fucking hard-on that won’t quit. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was being punk’d. Who would’ve ever thought I’d be complaining about my dick staying hard for too long? If you’ve never suffered this cruel fate, let me assure you; it fucking hurts. I think I may have actually broken the poor guy. He’s raw from way too much friction and don’t even get me started on how difficult it was to take a piss.
Think, asshole! Think! I close my eyes and concentrate on some of the most non-erotic things I can think of: Kittens. Grandma Ethel. Munchkinland. Damn it, that last one made me scream like a girl but my spaceship is still ready for liftoff. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise; those creepy high-voiced fuckers are terrifying. TERRIFYING I TELL YOU!
I slam my head back into the seat, take a deep breath, and groan in frustration. I rip the keys out of the ignition and slide out of my truck as carefully as possible. With the front of my shorts tented in the most obvious way possible, I stroll through the automatic doors of North Seattle Memorial and walk up to the lady at the front desk. The look of revulsion on her face as she eyeballs my pocket rocket matches my level of embarrassment.
“May I help you?” she inquires with a side order of stink eye.
“Um...” I nod toward my bulge. “I think I should see a doctor about this.”
Her eyebrows reach her hairline. “What seems to be the problem, sir?”
“My erection-way won’t go own-day,” I whisper in mediocre Pig Latin. “I took some Iagra-vay and I think my ick-day may be oken-bray.”
“I see. So, your chief complaint is that you took some Viagra and you think you may have broken your penis as a result?”
I glare at her. “Lady, do you not know the purpose of Pig Latin?”
I swear to God her lips twitch. “I’m sorry, sir, but the purpose behind Pig Latin is not in the Employee Handbook.”
“Well it should be,” I mutter.
She ignores me and continues asking the customary check-in questions as her fingers fly across the keyboard. Thankfully, I’ve been here before, so it doesn’t take too long. A final series of tap, tap, taps later and she looks up from her monitor.
“Okay, you’re all checked in.” She guides me down to the triage area and gestures for me to have a seat in the small cubicle.
At least the triage nurse has the decency to act like he sees this sort of thing every day. After he finishes taking my vitals and assessing the urgency of my problem, he says, “Okay, we’re all set here. Please have a seat out front and we’ll call you back as soon as possible.”
I look behind me before facing him again. “You want me to wait out there? With all those people?”
He smirks. “Yes, sir, that is the waiting room for emergency patients. I’m sorry, but as you can see, we’re having a busy night. Someone will be with you as soon as possible.”
This guy seriously needs a refresher in bro code. As I search for an empty chair, I wish I had brought a jacket with me so I could shield the Sperminator from prying eyes. It would’ve also been nice to pull on a pair of jeans instead of the loosest basketball shorts I own. I’m actually a pretty smart dude—you don’t get into Aerospace Engineering without brains—but obviously, I wasn’t thinking earlier. Don’t judge me; if you thought your dick might fall off, you’d be lucky if you remembered to put on a
ny clothes before heading to the hospital.
I find an open spot and awkwardly fold my hands over my lap as I wait. I sit there for who knows how long enduring one dirty look after another. Almost every person has moved to the other side of the room. Except this one guy with awful hair that’s slowly, but surely inching his way in my direction. Right as Carl Comb-Over gets two chairs away, I hear the voice of an angel calling my name.
“Brody Harris?”
I practically run up to the woman standing in the doorway. “That’s me.”
Her eyes automatically fall to the officer in my pants. “Right this way, Mr. Harris.”
She leads me into a room down the hall that’s sectioned off by sliding glass doors. She gestures for me to have a seat on the narrow bed, then digs through a lower cabinet off to the right and grabs a thin piece of folded fabric. “I’ll step out so you can remove everything from the waist down. You can use this to cover your... yourself. Someone will be with you in just a few minutes.”
“Thanks,” I grumble as I take the sheet from her.
I remove my shorts and resume my place on the exam bed with the sheet cleverly arranged to conceal my problem as much as possible. I peek under the fabric and beg my dick one more time to snap out of this.
“C’mon, man. I will swear off threesomes forever if you just go back to normal. Right. The. Fuck. Now.”
I give him the full power of my glare but it’s to no avail. He’s still red and angry looking and if this were any other situation, I’d point out how much of him there is again. Oh, who am I kidding? I have a monstrous cock and I own that shit. The only complaints I’ve ever had are from being too big, if you know what I mean. Sadly, in this arena, there’s no one to impress with that fact. I take a deep breath and wait for the nurse to return so we can get this over with.
Chapter Two
RAINEY
“Holy shit, Rainey. You’re going to be so glad you’re down here tonight after you see the guy in room three.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask April, my fellow nurse at North Seattle Memorial.
I’m normally stationed in Labor & Delivery, but the ER was grossly understaffed from some nasty stomach virus that’s been going around. Since there aren’t very many babies in need of birthing tonight, I volunteered to help. April and I have been friends since nursing school, but I don’t get to see her nearly enough since we work five floors apart. It’s crazy busy right now but there’s usually a lull in the few hours before shift change to catch up.
She smirks. “The guy in bay three is yours. You definitely don’t get to see cases like this when you’re staring up vaginas for twelve hours straight.”
“Those vaginas happen to bring beautiful new babies into the world, you know.” Which to be honest, is the only reason I chose that specialty.
“You know what I meant,” she rolls her eyes. “Just trust me on this one. You’ll thank me afterwards.”
“Uh huh, I’m sure,” I tease. “You know, if you needed a break, you could’ve just asked me to cover.”
“Oh honey, you’ll be eating those words. Have fun!” She laughs and gives me a finger wave as she heads in the opposite direction.
I make my way over to room three and grab the file off the wall. I take a quick glance at the patient’s name before knocking on the glass to announce my arrival.
“Come in,” a deep voice calls.
I slide the privacy curtain over a bit, so I can walk inside. “Good evening, Mr. Harris. I’m Rainey and I’ll be taking care of you. What brings you in tonight?” I walk over to the computer station and enter my login credentials, so I can pull up Mr. Harris’s chart.
“Uh...doesn’t it say that in my file?” he chokes out.
I paste on a smile and turn toward him for the first time. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he’s a good-looking guy. I don’t normally make a habit of checking out patients, but I am a woman and he is certainly a man. And as April so delicately mentioned, I normally stare at the V all night. I shake out of my stupor as I remember his question.
“It does, but I haven’t gotten to that part yet. I always like asking my patients directly to ensure we have accurate information in the system.”
“Oh...” he stumbles. “I guess that makes sense.”
I lift my eyebrows expectantly. “So...what brings you in tonight?”
