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Charlee smirks. “Sure, Drew. We can talk about it later.”
“On that note...” I put my earbuds in. “I’m going to try getting some sleep. I’m pretty sure neither one of us got much shut-eye last night.” Plus sleeping is likely the only way I can get my boner to go down while Charlee is so close to me.
As I hit the play button on my relaxation playlist and close my eyes, I will myself to fall asleep fast. Otherwise, at the rate I’m going, I’ll be facing indecent exposure charges when I get off this plane.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Viva Las Vegas!
CHARLEE
“Where to?” the cabbie asks.
“Pick a chapel, any chapel,” Drew slurs.
“Gimme one with Elfish!” I add. “Wait, that’s not right. Elllll-vis. Gimme one with Elllll-vis.” I scrunch my face up to really get the weird lip thing going. “Thank you. Thank you verra’ much.”
The driver laughs as he pulls away from the county building. “You’re about to get hitched, I take it?”
Drew swings his heavy arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him. “You bet your nuts we are!” He waves our freshly inked marriage license in the air. “We got our license with one minute to spare before the bureau closed.”
Cab guy laughs again. I don’t know why this dude thinks we’re so funny. “I know just the place. Hang on.”
As he pulls onto the main road, I get an awesome idea to pass the time. Facing Drew I say, “We should make out.”
He smiles. “You don’t need to ask me twice, honey.”
I’m not sure how long we play tonsil hockey before the car comes to a stop, but I think it’s
only a couple of minutes.
“Here ya go,” the cabbie says. “Hunk of Burning Love Wedding Chapel. Is that Elvis enough for you?”
I grin. “It’s perfect!”
Drew throws some cash at the driver as we’re exiting the vehicle. “Thanks, man. You’re the shiz.”
The cabbie laughs again. Seriously, what’s so damn funny? “Congratulations, you two. Have a good night.”
We walk through the front doors hand-in-hand. Holy bejeezus, I’ve never seen so many rhinestones in my entire life. It’s like one of the King’s famous outfits spewed little jumpsuit chunks all over the walls. In addition to the bedazzling, there’s gold plating, like everywhere. Except the carpeting which is a deep blue. It looks kind of velvety.
A lady that could very possibly be Tan Mom is waiting expectantly behind a glass counter. “Welcome to the Hunk of Burning Love Wedding Chapel.” Jesus, her voice sounds like she’s been smoking two packs a day for twenty years. “How may I help you this evening?”
We join her at the glass case that houses a bunch of rings. Ew, she smells like she smokes five packs a day.
“Yes, fine lady,” Drew says while puffing his chest out. “We’d like to get married please.”
Smoky chomps her gum a few times before giving us a yellow-toothed smile. She pulls out a laminated sheet and slams it on the counter. “We’ve got five packages to offer. How much you lookin’ to spend?”
“Oh!” I say excitedly as I fight with the zipper on my purse. I pull out a wad of bills from my blackjack winnings and hand them to her. “What will that get us?”
Her eyes light up and the wrinkles around her mouth deepen as she counts the cash. “This right here will get ya the All Shook Up package. It’s the best one we offer. Your ceremony is performed by a superstar impressionist, you get two luxurious gold-plated wedding bands, a delightful bouquet filled with the best carnations this side of the Mississippi, an 8x10 commemorative photo with frame, and a one-hour limo ride with a bottle of champagne when you’re ready to leave.”
Drew throws his arms up in the air like he just scored a touchdown. “We’ll take it!”
She pulls out two trays with thin gold bands on the left and thicker ones on the right. “First, I’ll need to see your marriage license and photo ID’s. While I’m looking that over, go ahead and find one that fits. Lady Gaga should be finished with her current ceremony by the time we’re done with the formalities.”
“Lady Gaga?” Drew asks, handing the requested documentation to her. “I thought Elvis would be performing the ceremony.”
