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“Aw, baby, I promise it will be worth it in the end.”

Ignoring her death glare, I get back to work on her pretty pussy. I point my tongue and begin slowly spelling my name over her slick flesh. Never too fast, and never too much pressure, because I want to this to last as long as possible. I avoid her piercing entirely because as awesome as it is, I’m pretty sure touching it even slightly right now would tip her over the edge. Charlee whimpers in frustration and calls me some pretty colorful names every time I build her up then back off.

When her fingers release my hair and go straight for her clit, I band both of her wrists with my free hand and hold them against her stomach. It’s cute that she thinks she can take control and when I tell her as much, she reverts back to the name calling. Normally, a woman touching herself would be one of the hottest things she could do in bed—remember that, ladies—but there’s a time and a place for it. I’m running this show at the moment and it will be over when I say it’s over. Call me an asshole if you want, but I promise you, Charlee will be thanking me in the end. You’ll see for yourself soon enough.

Dudes, take note: delaying the O is a risky game—especially when you have a wildcat in the sack, as Charlee apparently is—but it’s worth it if you do it right. Conversely, if you fuck it up... well, you’re likely to wind up with a serious case of blue balls or even worse, a kick to the balls. So in the interest of happy nads, I’m going to do you a solid and give you some tips.

First, you have to read your woman’s cues. If she’s not very vocal, pay close attention to her lower body muscles. If her legs begin to shake, or her thighs start turning into a vice, back off immediately. But when you do pull away, make sure your mouth is still touching her in the general area. Fuck her with your tongue, rim her ass, bite her thighs—it doesn’t really matter what you choose as long as you aren’t putting any pressure on her clit or G-spot. If you have no idea where either of those things are, for the love of God man, figure that part out first.

Secondly, wait about a minute before directing your aim at the bullseye again. No more, no less. You need to give her enough time to come down from the near-O, but you don’t want to ruin the mood by waiting too long. And if you approach too soon, she could instantly peak but it would be one of those half-assed orgasms that make you want to cry because they’re so confusing.

Allow me to put that in perspective: let’s say you’re taking a lady to Pound Town. Assuming you’ve already taken care of her multiple times, now it’s your turn. You pick up speed quickly, your swimmers are making their climb up the mouth of the volcano, then right as you’re approaching the summit, your dick accidentally slips out of her warm, wet grip. There’s no way you can stop the inevitable so you’re sitting there like a chump, whimpering as jizz leaks out of your cock. Any guy knows that you need a few more strokes after you first blow your load to get the full effect. Without them, it’s all for naught; the reward is substandard at best. Now do you get the point? Why would you want to put your woman through that kind of disappointment? Spoiler alert: you don’t.

Last, but certainly not least, use every tool that you have at your disposal. Your tongue doesn’t need to pull all the weight and you wouldn’t want it to, if delayed gratification is your game. Fingerbanging is a pretty obvious solution, but it’s not the only one. Think outside the box.

See what I did there?

If you need some ideas, watch lady porn. You know, the kind where the focus is on the man pleasing a woman. Stay away from hard-core because we all know those are mostly about blow jobs and DP and facials. While hot, that’s not what we’re going for here. I made that mistake once in my late teens and never again, my friend. Never again.

Personally, I prefer things like using the scruff on my chin to brush against the nerves around her puckered hole. The bridge of my nose is per

fect for teasing right beneath her clit while my tongue is licking her lower half. I’ll nibble her with my teeth—a personal fave—apply some suction, roll her nipples with my fingers while I’m blowing on her lower lips—whatever I’ve got handy, I’ll use. Feel free to steal my ideas; your lady will thank you.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “But Drew, how am I supposed to do all those things at once?” I feel for you, buddy; I really do. But if you have any hope of keeping a woman around, you need to learn the art of multitasking. Let’s be real; guys and multitasking go together about as well as peanut butter and pickles. But the better you are at it while muff-diving, the higher she’ll climb and the more addicted she’ll be.

Speaking of multi-tasking...

I add a third finger and smile as a litany of curses fly out of Charlee’s mouth.

“I swear to God, Drew,” she growls. “If you don’t make me come, right the fuck now, I will murder you.”

Yep, time to seal the deal. You know she’s ready once the threat of bodily harm comes into play.

I blow on her clit. “Hold on tight, honey.”

Diving straight for her pussy pearl, I swirl my tongue around with some assistance from the metal jewelry. Charlee’s heels are digging into my shoulders, her back is arching so high off the seat only her head is still resting on it. I keep at it until her entire body is vibrating with the need to come. Right when she’s about to reach the point of no return, I add the pìece de resìstance. I lube the tip of my index finger with her juices and rim her ass, putting just enough pressure to activate the pleasure center, but not breach the barrier. You never, ever, want to attempt backdoor access without explicit permission, but I get the feeling that Charlee wouldn’t mind some light ass play. My theory is confirmed as she enthusiastically pushes into my finger, causing it to slip inside a little. I give a slight twist and lo and behold, that’s all she needs for detonation. My beautiful wife screams my name over and over until her voice is hoarse. When she finally goes limp, I carefully set her back on the seat, and smile against her salty skin as I trail kisses over her calf muscles.

Charlee flings her arm to the side. “My God.”

“Yes, my child,” I joke.

She smirks. “You’re pretty good at that, Drew.”

I gently bite the sensitive skin behind her knee. “‘Pretty good’? That’s the best you could come up with?”

I’m forced to release her leg when she sits up and lunges for the button on my jeans. “I’d rather show you how much I appreciated that.”

Yes! Finally! my dick shouts.

Not so fast, I say.

Dick! he whines.

Pot, meet kettle.

I manacle her wrists again. “Honey, as much as I love where you’re going with this, I wasn’t done.”

Charlee struggles against my hold and pouts. “Drew, give me your damn dick!”

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