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“I guess you’re right,” I agreed with a toothy smile. “But I don’t have to like it.”
“Tough,” Rylee teased me with a laugh.
It felt good to laugh with her again, but it was cut all too short as I pulled up outside her mother’s house shortly after. I watched her get out of the car and wave goodbye to me with her hand before rushing inside. I waited outside for a little while longer, thinking more about the whole messy situation before I finally turned the keys in the ignition and headed back to Sam’s ranch again.
I felt like a zombie. My mind was in a complete daze about the whole thing and I felt a little bit lost. Just half an hour ago, I had been wrapped in the arms of the woman I loved and now I was thrown back into reality where I was sleeping at my old high school friend’s ranch. Even worse was the fact that Rylee still didn’t want to give our relationship a chance—at least, not yet. It gave me hope that she was considering being with me again in the future, but honestly, I wasn’t sure if that future would ever come. She seemed so unsure of what she wanted and it still felt like there were things she wasn’t telling me.
I threw myself into bed that night with head swimming with confusing thoughts and a heart feeling heavy and bruised. I guess Rylee was going to be a tougher nut to crack than I thought.
10
Rylee
The next morning, I laid in bed for longer than normal just thinking about Spencer. No matter how much I thought I should push him away and leave the whole thing alone, I couldn’t stop wanting to be with him. It didn’t help that he’d turned out to want me too. I’d originally thought he just wanted a quick fuck with a younger woman, but now I knew that he wanted something more… It made everything ten times harder.
Not to mention the way we’d made love the night before had been hot, frantic, and passionate. It was just as good if not better than the very first time. I didn’t want to give up the incredible spark we had between us, but at the same time, I needed to be logical. I wasn’t the only one who was involved in all of this and I still hadn’t broken the news to Spencer about Jayden. How could I even think about a happily ever after with him when Spencer still didn’t know that he had a son?
“Ugh.” I groaned and rolled out of bed, attempting to focus on getting ready for the day ahead. It was a futile effort to take my mind off of the whole complicated situation and no matter what I did it was always in the back of my mind.
Being with Spencer again after so long was just as amazing as I’d remembered. The way he touched me and manipulated my body with his big, strong hands made me feel excited and hungry for him. Even the next morning, I felt desperate to have him again. The way that he made me feel was so addictive that I was dying to give into him. I wanted to let him sweep me off my feet without a care in the world… but I couldn’t. It was far too dangerous.
Before we could even think about a potential relationship, I needed to tell him about Jayden. He deserved to know and besides, it’s not like I could hide my son from him forever. One day, he was going to come over unexpectedly to see my mom or me and Jayden would be here. Spencer’s a smart guy. He’ll put two and two together pretty quickly, even if he didn’t actually know he was the only guy I’d ever slept with. Besides, the resemblance was pretty striking when you looked at Jayden closely. They had a similar complexion and their noses were almost the exact same shape!
I was still nervous about what Spencer might say, but the longer I delayed the inevitable, the longer I was going to feel nervous. I really hoped he wouldn’t get upset or angry about it. I imagined scenario after scenario as I got cleaned and dressed ready for my shift at the store. I remembered how I always fantasized about Spencer coming back into my life with an apology and a bottle of wine or flowers. I imagined how he would beg my forgiveness and be overjoyed about having a son, but now that it had actually happened, I didn’t know what to feel!
Things would’ve been easier if Spencer hadn’t gone and offered to be my mom’s pretend boyfriend. I bet he was kicking himself over that too if what he’d told me was true. Going around in circles in my head didn’t seem to be getting me anywhere and I felt like I needed a second opinion, so as I walked to the store, I thought about what I was going to say to Dahlia about everything. After all, Dahlia had always helped and supported me throughout my whole life. She was always there for Jayden and practically acted like the aunt he didn’t have. If anyone could help me, it was her.
