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When I arrived at work, I rushed to the locker room to put my bag away before heading out to the check out. It was super busy, however, so I didn’t get a chance to speak to Dahlia at all even though she was standing right next to me. Instead, I was bombarded with customer after customer. Luckily, when it hit midday, Colin let us both take a break together. We headed to the break room which consisted of two old comfy couches and a small wooden coffee table. There was a tiny kitchenette to the right with a mini fridge and a sink, but it was hardly luxurious. Luxury didn’t matter right now, however. All I needed was a quiet place where I could speak to Dahlia without interruptions or anyone eavesdropping and thankfully, the break room was just the place for that. We both headed inside and sat down with our packed lunches. It’s now or never, I told myself, so I decided to go for it.
“I need to talk about something,” I told her as I unwrapped my sandwich from the cellophane. I looked down at it awkwardly for a moment before I managed to utter in a whisper, “I saw Spencer last night.”
Dahlia gasped and pushed aside her lunch. She looked at me with her dark hazel eyes and flicked her red hair behind her shoulder. “Tell me all about it! What happened? Did you kiss? Did he declare his undying love for you?” she questioned. “Tell me! Tell me!”
“Well… we slept together,” I admitted in a whisper. Dahlia immediately gasped. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, honestly, but it did. I feel super awkward about it though because he still doesn’t know that Jayden exists and I really need to tell him, Dahlia, but I just don’t know how!” The whole thing was becoming more and more of a problem with every passing day. It was like I was rolling a tiny ball of snow down a mountain until it accumulated more and more snow and became a huge, unstoppable boulder.
Across from me, Dahlia nodded along to what I was saying and pursed her lips. “You definitely should tell him. I think you’re right. He’s going to find out one way or another and it’s better that he hears it from you,” she agreed.
“But how do I tell him? It’s not like I can just walk up to him and say, ‘Oh, by the way, Spencer, I had your son four years ago and I never told you. I hope you’re okay with it!’” I blurted out in frustration. “Besides, I don’t have the first clue how he might react once he finds out. I mean, I hope he’ll want to get to know Jayden and be excited, but what if he runs when he finds out? What if all he wanted was to screw me again and then he’s going to take off once a better opportunity presents itself? After all, he’s forty-eight and he’s never been married, he’s never settled down. He’s been a life-long bachelor at this point, so why would he change for me?”
After I got it all out of my system, I noticed Dahlia was looking at me with kind eyes and a sympathetic smile. She reached out and took my hand in hers before running her thumb over my palm in a comforting manner. This was exactly the reason why we were best friends. She always knew how best to ease my worries.
“I’ll admit that I don’t know this guy like at all, Rylee,” she began with a small shrug. “But from what you’ve told me, he doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would cut and run from his responsibilities when times get tough and even if he does… Well, you said it yourself. Spencer deserves to know that he’s a father. Even if it ends badly for you or for Jayden, at least you can tell yourself that you tried and then you won’t have to carry around the guilt from not telling him anymore.”
I nodded. I knew she was right, but that didn’t mean my fears disappeared. I started thinking about my son and just how young and innocent he was. I could suck it up and take it if Spencer rejected me, but I had no idea how Jayden might take it. I didn’t want to risk anything happening to him that might scar him emotionally.
“What if he hurts Jayden?” I muttered under my breath while looking down at mine and Dahlia’s joined hands. “I don’t know if I want to risk him being rejected, even if it is by his own father. That kind of thing changes a person and he’s such a sweet little boy…”
Dahlia’s eyes seemed to burn at the suggestion and she scowled. “If anyone ever hurt poor little Jayden, you know I’d help you hunt them down and castrate them!” she exclaimed and squeezed my hand tight before laughing. “But in all seriousness, Rylee, that might happen and yes, it would totally suck, but it’s not like he’s lacking for love or support. He’s got you and your mom and me, of course. Even if his father turns out to be a total douche bag, we’ll more than make up for it. You should definitely do the right thing and tell him, no matter how hard it is.”
