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Her lips twitched up slightly. “I wasn’t bad?”
“No.” I wanted to say more, but I could feel the first signs of heat rising and the last thing I needed was for my libido to get me in trouble again.
“Thank you.”
I walked out of her apartment and called for a car. All the way home, I mentally railed on myself for letting my dick get the best of me. I was stronger than that. So, what the fuck happened?
When I got home, I took a shower, washing off the evidence of my infidelity. I couldn’t sleep in the same bed I’d made love to Joanna in with Bella’s scent and essence on my body. I stood under the spray as the night replayed in my mind.
Could I really be blamed for falling under Bella’s spell? She was a smart, kind, attractive woman. And sexy as fuck.
While I felt like I’d betrayed my wife, I suspected no one else would think the same, except maybe my in-laws. Other people would say a man had needs. Tonight, I certainly had. I needed to touch her like I needed to breathe. And holy fuck, I couldn’t remember ever coming as hard as I had with Bella. I chalked that up to the fact that it had been such a long time since I’d been aroused, much less with a woman.
Her skin had been soft, her tits the perfect fit in my hands, and her pussy, Jesus it was so tight, I’m not sure how I fit. There in the shower, my body responded again.
“Jesus, what’s wrong with you?” I said to my dick. For a moment, I considered grabbing it and stroking until I came again. But when the image of Bella’s tits moving as I pounded into her came into my head, I turned the water to cold and froze the little bastard into compliance. Fantasizing about her was as bad as fucking her. It was a dishonor to my wife.
I toweled off and went to bed, turning my thoughts to my wife. “I’m sorry baby.” I was sorry I’d touched another woman. I was sorry that by fucking my assistant I’d potentially put our business at risk, even though I believed Bella wouldn’t cause problems.
My crimes weren’t just against Joanna though. Bella’s first time should have been with a man she loved, who loved her back. Someone who could have taken better care of her than I had. And who’d have been smart enough to use a condom.
The next morning, my self-loathing hadn’t dissipated. Fortunately, I had the weekend to get my shit together. When I walked into the office on Monday, I had to put all this behind me and hope that Bella did too.
To help rid my system of Bella and my guilt, I pulled out the old photo albums of me and Joanna. I went through pictures from college, the early days of our marriage and growing our business, and seeing her round and rosy with Lily growing in her belly. Joanna had often told me I was too serious and not spontaneous enough. I wondered what she’d think about my spontaneously fucking my assistant?
A part of me thought she’d find it hilarious how I lost control of myself. She’d also probably be the first to tell me it was okay. She was pushing me to live and love again before she died. But what I’d done with Bella didn’t feel okay. I felt I’d betrayed my marriage and let our business down. And it wasn’t fair to Bella to take her virginity knowing I couldn’t love her and to do so as her boss.
By Sunday, I was feeling steadier. I couldn’t change what happened, but I was able to look ahead and move on. When Joanna’s parents brought Lily home and we had dinner together, I only felt a little weird looking them in the eyes. What the hell would they think about my behavior?
On Monday, I got to the office early and buried myself in my work. Anything I needed from Bella, I’d ask my secretary, Dana to courier between us. See, it could all work out.
At noon, Mrs. Douglas called and said her son had an emergency and she couldn’t be there when Lily got home from school. I called my in-laws but they weren’t able to cover either. I’d have to get Lily from school and bring her here. The company didn’t have onsite daycare, although it was one of the many goals Joanna had for the company. That meant Lily would need to play quietly in my office while I finished my work. That wouldn’t be a problem except that I had a conference call with the buyer from a department store that afternoon.
I hadn’t figured out a solution yet, as I walked with Lily from the elevator toward my office. Bella was at my secretary’s desk talking with her. It was the first time I’d seen her all day, and my chest contracted at the sight of her.
