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She stared up into the warmth of his eyes and leaned into his touch when he cupped her face. “How is this your fault, Asher? I spent Damon’s money.”
“Because had I not left you, none of this would have happened.” He held her face, not letting her look anywhere but at him. “I shattered you when I left you standing there in the rain. I did that to you. All this shit that happened after that moment in your life, it’s my fault, not yours. That’s why I’m so fucking angry about all this.” He hesitated. “I never should have yelled, and I’m sorry that I made you cry.”
She couldn’t even believe her ears. “Okay, somewhere things have gotten wonky. First of all, you left me because you needed time and space to get yourself right again. You had just lost your mother. You were going through a lot, I get that now. I made my choices. That’s what led me here. And second of all, you are not your father, Asher. You didn’t make me cry because you got angry. I cried because I did something bad.”
He glanced away before his haunted gaze held her captive. “You’re letting me off the hook far too easily.”
Her heart broke at the pain in his voice. As much as she hadn’t deserved how her life fell apart, neither did he. She closed whatever distance was left, needing his touch. “I understand that you changed after your mother’s death. I don’t hold that against you.” She hesitated, then shrugged. “Maybe I did for a while, but I see now that the things you had once promised me before were promises that were impossible for you to keep.”
“You should hold it against me,” he said, his jaw muscles working. “Everything that has happened to you since I left happened because I?
?d been a fucking coward. I was so damn scared to lose anyone else. I was in such a dark place I couldn’t see anyone but myself. I ran because I thought I was protecting you from me, but that was the easiest way out. All of this, every single fucking thing comes back to my leaving you that night and you looking for love in all the wrong places. That’s on me, Remy. That will always be on me.”
“Asher, you didn’t do this.”
He shook his head. “What’s done is done and there’s nothing I can do to change any of it. All I care about now is keeping you safe and making sure you are happy again. That’s our only focus going forward. We need to pay back King.”
“I can sell the shop.” She offered the first plan before going into the second, way more complicated plan.
“I considered that idea,” he said with a shake of his head. “But selling will take time. King is not the type of businessman you keep waiting.” He paused to examine her, obviously deciding to level with the truth. “Look at what happened to Damon. We’re not going to play around here. Do you understand me?”
She nodded.
“Tomorrow morning, I’m going to meet with the district attorney and explain the situation.”
Her heart promptly landed in her throat. “I know you have to do what’s right. I’ll plead guilty, of course.”
His mouth twitched and his eyes flickered with quick amusement. “I’m not going to let you be prosecuted, Remy. Like Rhett said, it’s doubtful the prosecutor would bring up charges. For one, Damon is dead. For two, the money was on your property, and there are many other ways we can wiggle out of this. But she’s going to want something, and we will give her Lars.”
“Okay, I’m not sure how you will do that,” Remy said, but she didn’t question him either. This was his show. “What do you need me to do?”
“Marry me.”
She blinked. “Pardon?”
“I know it’s a crazy idea,” Asher said, as steady as ever. “It’s not something I would suggest, considering our history, but I think it’s a solution that gets you out of contact with King fastest, and that is all I’m thinking about right now. We need King to go away. This can be a business arrangement between us, nothing more than that.”
Her mind reeled for many more seconds until she finally accepted that he’d just said what he said. “Actually, I don’t think it’s a crazy idea at all,” she countered. “Because of my plan to marry Damon, the documents are all drawn up, the money is there as soon as I provide a marriage certificate.”
Asher inclined his head. “I suspected as much.”
Her heart suddenly began to pound in her ears and her palms grew clammy as the realization dawned on her. We are getting married! The floor began to creep up on her; all the rational thoughts about this idea suddenly didn’t seem so rational anymore.
Asher’s head suddenly cocked, his eyes searching hers, then everything about him softened. “I need you to be honest with me, Remy. More honest than you have ever been in your life. Can you do that?”
“Yes.” No more secrets.
His thumbs brushed across her cheeks. “Can your heart handle this?”
Said heart skipped a beat. “It would be so easy for me to say yes that I can handle this, but I’d be lying. Of course, it will be…emotional, but I think as long as we create rules to keep it more like a business transaction, then I’ll be fine.” The words sounded right but felt all wrong. She’d dreamed of marrying Asher. She wanted it with every fiber of her being. But as she looked into Asher’s eyes, she didn’t see desire for her to be his wife, she only saw his need to right what he considered wrongs. He would, as always, protect her. And she knew from the guilt that cloaked him that he wouldn’t trust himself to not hurt her again. They had too much history, and they both had too much baggage for this to ever be a real marriage. She needed to remind herself of that. She couldn’t think about a man before herself anymore.
She’d love Asher, always, but she’d love him deeply as friend, where her heart remained safe. She’d be grateful to him, but emotion had no place here. Not now. Not with so much, including her life, on the line. She swallowed back the emotion filling her throat. Asher needed this as much as she did. He needed to help her keep her shop, see her dreams come true, to ease the guilt he endured.
Hell, they both needed this.
Asher studied her a moment and then took her hand and led her to the couch. “Name your rules.”
“No vows.” That would be too hard.
