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Until they were only two sweaty bodies tangled together, panting their satisfaction.
He eventually gathered her into his arms, spooning her from behind. She stared out the window seeing the half-moon in the dark sky, her emotions feeling depleted now. “Asher.”
“Yeah,” he murmured against her neck.
“Whatever sins you think you committed when you left me…whatever pain you caused back then…it is all forgiven now. You need to stop punishing yourself. Please tell me you will?”
His only response was to kiss her neck and wrap her tightly in his arms.
Chapter 21
The next morning, Asher brought Remy home and she dressed in the exact opposite of what she thought she’d wear when she married Asher. Instead of the long, white flowy gown she’d imagined for years, she wore ripped jeans and a black blouse, reminding herself that nothing about this morning was real. Now if only she could convince her heart of that.
Asher had already gone to talk to the district attorney and got everything arranged for the ceremony this morning. She didn’t ask much about it all, thinking she had enough on her plate without worrying if she was going to be charged with theft or larceny.
The morning so far had been strange—sunny for an hour, then raining, and now sunny again. Almost like the day knew everything was backward. In her bedroom, and needing something stronger than herself at the moment, Remy moved to her dresser and opened the top drawer, taking out her tarot cards. She opened the box, found the Strength card in the deck, and then placed it down on the dresser. She grabbed a white votive candle and a polished piece of bloodstone. After lighting the candle, she placed the bloodstone on the center of the Strength card. She shut her eyes, envisioning herself absorbing the courageous light of the flame and the strength of the card. Only when she felt strong and ready did she place the bloodstone in her pocket to carry with her. She ran the deck over the flame to cleanse it, then tucked away her tarot cards before blowing out the candle.
When she reached the living room, she tried not to look at the messy state of her loft, but now, knowing the break-in had been someone looking for the money, whether that be one of Joaquin’s men or Lars, Remy felt fine being back in her place. She just wanted this to be over. Done. Put to bed.
Everything seemed more up in the air than ever. Something changed last night. First of all, she didn’t want to hide away anymore. A strength she hadn’t known before had risen somewhere inside her, pushing her to be the reason this matter got solved, not letting someone else deal with it. Maybe that was the positive she could take away in all this. She truly came out of all this stronger. Hell, she and Asher seemed to both come out of this better than when he’d left her, and for that she’d always be grateful, even if it took a whole lot of pain to get there.
The other thing that happened was that she crossed the boundary she told herself not to cross. The emotional one.
When her foot made the floorboard squeak, Asher turned away from the window he’d been staring out of, and the intensity in his gaze nearly undid her. He was just so cold. Any part of her heart that thought that maybe this would affect him like it was affecting her flew out the window. He was there to get her out of this mess, and that was that. He took her at her word last night. This would be a business deal.
A big part of her heart twisted. She admitted to herself that she wanted his love. But she wasn’t that woman who needed love above all else anymore. She had to come first, and now she accepted that Asher would always be an incredible protector. That was his role in her life. She could live with that. But her mind accepting that was one thing; her heart needed more time.
Asher’s gaze did a thorough once-over before he glanced into her eyes. She expected him to comment on her attire, but instead, he only showed steadiness. “Ready to go?” he asked.
She nodded, exhaling a long, deep breath. “Ready.” Regardless that this didn’t feel like a transaction at all, and that the butterflies indicated being Asher’s wife was an exciting idea, she couldn’t back out now. Not for herself. She couldn’t back out for the situation that she’d now placed everyone in.
A situation that no one could have seen coming.
If she didn’t come up with the money, she’d be in danger, but if she was in danger, Asher would protect her. And by protecting her, he’d place himself in front of that danger, which in turn, would bring in Boone and Rhett. She couldn’t let that happen. She made this mess. She had to clean it up.
Asher suddenly closed the distance and placed both hands on her shoulders, bringing his eye level down to hers. “You don’t need to do this. We can back out right now and come up with a new plan.”
Her emotions must have showed on her face. “Yes, I do,” she retorted, lifting her chin. “I spent Joaquin’s money. I need to pay him back.” She paused, seeing the slight hesitation on his face. “Are you changing your mind about it all?”
“No,” he bit off, a muscle in his jaw flexing. “I’ve got this.”
“It’s just for a few months, so no one can contest the inheritance,” she said. “Though I don’t know who would contest it. Maybe my mother. Anyway, after that, we can get divorced…or an annulment, if we tell the judge we didn’t consummate the marriage…or maybe a divorce is better just to keep things easier.” She froze at the twitch of his mouth. “Damn, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
“Just a little.” He grabbed the hem of her shirt and then tugged her into him, surprising her by wrapping his arms tightly around her. “It’s going to be all right, Remy. We can do this.”
She leaned into him. “I know.”
He placed a kiss on her forehead, then offered his hand. “Ready to go get ourselves hitched?”
She laughed softly. “Definitely.”
Two hours of butterflies, sweat coating her skin, and barely being able to sit still later, Remy held the marriage license in her hand. They’d gone to the town office and now stood in front of Judge Mulroney’s desk at the courthouse. Dark paneling filled the room, along with bookshelves full of law books. Nana had known the judge’s mother, and Remy vaguely remembered hearing about the judge every so often, though Remy had been a kid then and the judge at that time was a wild teenager. Now with her curly brown hair, light makeup, and black pantsuit, the judge couldn’t look more straitlaced.
“What kind of ceremony are we looking for today?” the judge asked, sitting behind her desk.
“Simple,” Remy blurted out, and she quickly smiled at her hasty response.
The judge nodded and made a note before asking, “How about vows? Personal or already prepared?”
