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When it didn’t she depended on Master Aidan to clear her head. Their play provided a place where she could fade away. Where she didn’t need to think, and where all she had to do was be in the moment.
“Tough situation.” His fingers swept over her arm in slow swirls. “Those kids are lucky to have you.”
She shivered as the sweat along her body dried and she smiled at his understanding. Doms held a level of intuition with submissives that Cora wouldn’t have believed if she were a vanilla girl. Where some men could be so blind, Doms were the complete opposite. They were what their submissive needed them to be, even if the submissives didn’t know it.
Though with Aidan being a defense attorney he simply got what she went through. He’d seen firsthand the evil that existed in the world. And he’d dealt with it daily, just as she did.
As the stress diminished to the feeling of nothingness, she welcomed it greedily. There, in his arms, her breaths were slow and easy. With a pang in her heart, she rubbed herself against his chest, moving even closer. “Thank you.” Paying no attention to the noise around and with a tightness in her throat, she added, “For tonight, too. Our scene … it couldn’t have been more perfect.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” His eyes warmed with his smile, without any dominance. “I enjoy playing with you.”
Her breath became trapped in her throat as iciness struck her to the bones, stealing the warmth his hold had garnered. The protection he offered, the comfort he gave, and the connection that was so intense would always be an illusion.
Aidan might stir explosive chemistry in a scene, but they weren’t committed. And the sad fact was that Cora loved him. She knew it right down to her bones. In his arms, staring into his eyes, she could love this man forever. Though Aidan had demons and her love was not reciprocated—at least in the way she desired.
The demons Aidan harbored Cora had never been able to banish.
No matter how much his holding her declared his love. No matter that his touch was always so right. No matter that they laughed together and were so damn good together, he could never love her the way she needed him to.
His heart belonged to another submissive.
A submissive who had died.
On a deep sigh, she reined in her emotions as the familiar hollowness filled her chest. He never needed to tell her where he stood in regard to their relationship. I enjoy playing with you said it all. A man in love with a woman would declare his true feelings.
In a scene, Aidan gave all of himself to her.
Out of a scene, there was a distance Cora could never break.
She gulped, pushing her thoughts deep into a safe place of detachment. Sometimes the intensity during a scene made reality fade. Now her mind cleared. She didn’t need to be in his arms and she didn’t want the intimacy. No matter that she ached to stay right there surrounded by him, she pushed away and moved to the other side of the couch. She couldn’t get caught up in emotions.
They’d do her no good.
Master Aidan stared at her with a flat expression. “Better now?”
She allowed her gaze to wander from that cold stare, unable to accept it. She didn’t know how he did that—one second so affectionate, the next ice-cold. She looked to the dark tattoo on his forearm. The same design he’d drawn on her. The symbol bore the marking of a Club
Sin Master, which declared him an experienced Dom.
Raw emotions stole her every thought. God, she wished such a symbol meant more than her being a good submissive. She wished he’d marked her because she belonged only to him. That he declared to the members that he was her Dom. That she was his woman. The world seemed to slow down when she looked into his cold gaze.
She wanted forever.
He wanted tonight.
While at first his distance formed heaviness in her chest, it also helped her recover from the emotional drop after a scene. His faraway expression reminded her no matter how much she loved him and wanted to stay in his arms, she couldn’t allow herself to get lost in that desire.
It’d only break her heart later.
He couldn’t give her more than he already had, she knew that.
In her job, she read people and understood the ghosts haunting them. She’d been trained to spot hidden agony. Aidan’s pain was glaringly obvious and his distance made even more sense. He didn’t put space between them out of coldness. He naturally shut down his emotions because his heart belonged to another woman.
How could he hold Cora with pure affection and with an open heart?
She wasn’t his love, Lily was.
“Yes, I’m good,” she said.
