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“Can I tell you what I think? What I really think?”
“Yes. Please. Brutal honesty.”
“The brutalest. Brace yourself.”
I braced, wincing, knowing that in any balanced universe, anybody as sweet as Jayce must have a capacity for brutality as dark as the blackest part of the ocean.
“I like you,” he breathed.
“What?”
He picked me up and turned me around. I wrapped my legs and arms around him and searched his eyes.
“You think I don’t know you, after all this time? I liked you from the start, Piper, and not just for the sex. You’re interesting and complicated and strong. You took to this new world you were thrust into like a fish to water, leaving your whole life behind without a second thought because you saw people who needed you.”
“It wasn’t that noble,” I admitted with a sigh. “My boyfriend was a cheating loser, I sucked at school, and my apartment was a dump. It wasn’t like I was leaving anything important. Besides, it was school or the underworld.”
“Right.” He chuckled, bumping my nose softly with his. “And all of your attitude and posturing those first few weeks had nothing at all to do with the fact that Hannah was a vulnerable mess. And you took on the lord of the underworld himself to get Xero back just because you had nothing better to do and you like fire demon dick.”
“Are you trying to tell me I’m a good person?”
His smile softened. “I’m telling you that you’re a strong person. That even though you might do the wrong things for the wrong reasons sometimes, underneath all of that stuff is an amazing person who cares about other people. And your bad stuff isn’t even that bad.”
“Not that bad? Mind control? Hormone control? Brainwashing people into getting themselves hurt or chained to me for life? It seems pretty fucking bad, Jayce.”
Tears stung my eyes as the weight of my decisions crushed my heart.
“You couldn’t help the bond,” he insisted. “What do you think I expected you to do, grovel and apologize for powers you didn’t have any knowledge of or control over? You were given a gift and you accepted it, that’s all. Whether it was a gift all of us were completely happy about at first or not is kind of beside the point.”
“I mean—okay, that’s fair.”
“You accept things the way they are, and you adapt. That’s a positive trait. And brainwashing people into getting themselves hurt—” He broke off, his brows drawing together. “Are you talking about the battle in the underworld?”
I shook my head. “A little, but no. Mostly before that. With the sprites.”
“You mean when the students were trampling each other trying to either fight the things or run away from them, and everybody was in danger?”
“I—well, yes.”
He shrugged, which lifted my body and pressed my breasts against his chest. My nipples hardened, and I wrapped my arms and legs a little tighter around him, relishing the heat of his body in the slightly cool water.
“You made a call,” he said simply. “It turned out okay. That’s why I say you’re the natural leader, Piper. It’s not because you have insight into our feelings or because you’re the focal point of the bond—it’s because you lead. You can make those tough choices in the moment. I couldn’t do that.”
“You couldn’t?”
He shook his head. “Nah. No fucking way. I’d second-guess myself and get caught up in little details and would be afraid to risk anyone else’s safety. I’d end up throwing myself on the front line, refusing to let anyone else help, and getting squished before I even had a chance to be useful.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I thought self-sacrifice was one of those virtue things.”
“Maybe it is. But it’s not a leadership virtue. And I’m not saying you’re not willing to sacrifice yourself, but you look at the bigger picture. You’re smart.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder and let his opinions tumble around in my head.
“You really think so?”
He pressed his lips to my wet hair, and I could feel the smile that curved his lips. “Yeah. I do. You don’t live your life in black and white like a lot of people do. And, hey, I might be a happy-go-lucky free-lovin’ hippie, but I can appreciate a nice dense gray area with the best of them.”
I arched a brow at him. “Is that what I am to you? A nice, dense gray area?”
