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So I just wrap my arms around Caleb and hold on to him, humming the tune I made up for when he gets scared of the dark.
It doesn’t help this time though.
He cries harder as he clings to me, his body shaking with it.
I hold him tighter, squeezing so tight that I feel him shrink in my embrace. He gets smaller and smaller until I’m not holding Caleb at all. I’m just clutching a beat-up stuffed elephant with one eye. It stares accusatorially at me as I look up, searching between the tall shadows for some hint of my brother.
“Caleb!” I scream. “Caleb!”
But he doesn’t answer.
He’s gone.
And when I look down, the elephant has vanished too.
“Caleb!”
I jerk upright, the cry tearing from my throat. Ryland startles awake beside me, sitting up and wrapping his arms around me as I gasp for breath.
I clutch his forearm where it rests against my chest, clinging to him like a lifeline as I claw my way out of visions that I hope like fuck aren’t memories.
Caleb.
Did he really cry in my arms? Did he beg me not to make him go?
Fuck.
“You all right? What is it?”
Ryland’s voice is rough from sleep, warm in my ear as he rests his chin on my shoulder. I don’t answer right away, just keep my tight grip on him as my heartbeat slowly returns to normal.
Gradually, I lean back, and he releases me to let me lie back down. Once we’re both lying down again, he rolls onto his side and pulls me close, sliding his fingers through my tangled hair as our heads rest on the same pillow.
I barely remember falling asleep, and I have no idea how long we were out. I feel marginally better than I did when we arrived at the house, but most of the benefit of the rest has been erased by the harsh awakening.
“You wanna talk about it?” Ryland’s hazel eyes are probing. The tattoos that crawl up his neck shift as he leans forward to press a kiss to my lips, as if he’s trying to coax words from them.
I let out a shaky breath. “I had a dream about Caleb. My brother.”
He already knows that name from Marcus, but he doesn’t know the rest of what I found out.
Understanding lights in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I know you have nightmares sometimes. I didn’t know that’s what they were about.”
My chest feels tight. I plow ahead quickly as he strokes his fingers over the inked skin of my amputated arm, trailing them down to just above my elbow and then back up.
“I’ve been having them more often lately. More vividly too. Ever since Marcus found out that name. And then…”
Fuck. It’s not any easier saying it the second time.
“What?” Ryland’s brows furrow.
“Last night, Dominic said something,” I murmur. “Something that made me think… he’s my brother.”
Ryland’s face freezes. Unlike Theo, he doesn’t have an overt reaction at first. Then he wraps his arm around me and rolls onto his back, pulling me with him so I’m draped over his body. His hands rest just above the curve of my ass as I rest my cheek against his chest. He doesn’t speak, just holds me there, molded against him.
Waiting.
Letting me decide what else to say.
